I love good bread. Like flat bread???? Bitch! Then the bread that’s hard on the outside but soft in the inside….with the fucking butter?????…..bitch…………

So relatable

This post for the bread lovers that understand

25 human years to Keanu is equivalent to like 2 minutes. he hasn’t changed outfits cuz he’s barely started his day

I think my boss knows I shouldn’t be around children or wasn’t meant to be around kids because one of my kindergarteners said he was going eat a rock and I’m like “yeah man, keeping that vitamins original, I can dig that, but let me look at first” and chucked the rock like 40 feet and was like “oooh man, now you gotta settle for whatever they feed you, like pizza or whatever.” , I wish that lady would tell me when she’s in the playground because I’m literally the most unorthodox teacher

Fuck they murdered him

I actually am so fascinated by the 180 Wendy’s has done with their social media etiquette. Like, who was the intern or entry level Social media person who slipped up and clapped back the first time? When the team realized that it made them more successful in terms of engagement and relevance, did the management team just go “You have permission to be an asshole within reason because memes”?

How Do I Explain To My Cat That Stepping On My Boobs Hurts 

feel ok to me ? feet do not hurt

Make every mythical monster a bear in your campaign

this image clearly isn’t in america but it gives off a strong midwestern energy