TW: mentioned self harm/suicide attempts.
I think a lot of people dont understand how selfish Oda's request of Dazai was.
Dazai grew up under Mori. He was around death a lot, be grew emotionless to it.
He self harmed and tried to commit suicide a few times.
Then, he was Mori's heir, the only one who knew what happened to the former boss and what was his actual last request.
He was the youngest executive in the port mafia.
And then Chuuya joined as well
And in some sense, Dazai finally felt in place, safe. He felt like there was someone who needed him, needed him as more then a plain card.
The three years when Chuuya joined was the best years he ever had. He had a relationship with Oda and Ango, his only real friends
he sort of had a relationship with Chuuya beyond work partners, he started seeing Kouyou as a sister instead of an enemy that was coming to take his position, he started to feel like he can do it. Like he can be Mori's heir, like he can wait for a few years to have freedom.
But then, Oda died. And that was already a huge blow itself for Dazai
And worst, Ango turned out a traitor.
Dazai knew about it, probably, but like Azula from Avatar said- "she was right of course but it still hurts".
And while Oda died in his arms, he asked Dazai to leave the port mafia. To be on the side who saves people if both sides are the same.
In other words, Oda asked Dazai to leave everything and everyone that mattered to him.
Instead of being comforted by Chuuya and Kouyou, because we all know they'd help Dazai through it.
(Chuuya lost all of his friends and Kouyou lost her lover, they both knew how hard it was to lose someone)
Oda asked Dazai to run away and deal with it on his own. With no help.
I'm sure Oda didnt mean it that way, but in Dazai's twisted, panicking state, that was probably how Dazai took Oda's request.
Oda's request caused every single good, and positive relationship he had in the PM to turn into something negative.
And I can imagine how it made Dazai to feel.
And ge himself, felt betrayed.
Betrayed by Oda, and by himself.
Because this, leaving the port mafia and listening to Oda's request, it was more self harm then everything he could've done to himself with a blade.
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