Undercover Jesus

Just introduced a kid to her adoptive parents. They brought her a dozen roses. We met at a restaurant. I arrived early to get a private booth and told the waitstaff what was up. So all the servers were having a cry in the corner. I’m at a coffee shop a few miles away, giving them space and having my own cry.

Adoptive mom clarified to me later: roses were pink because pink means forever.

What’s more important than the roses, though, is they also brought her a luggage set so she wouldn’t be moving her things in garbage bags. The luggage matches theirs, cause it’s family luggage for family trips.

And now the rest of us are crying too

Semen is both an all-natural and man-made adhesive.

This is hilarious

Hot take: on a scale of nerd vs jock, LARPing is a more jockish activity then fantasy football.

I feel so lonely and unwanted I don’t know what to do

You ever look at life and think what if I just took the plunge, and wiped myself out of the equation.

All the time.. Especially now...

Faking a smile is so much easier than explaning why you’re sad

Why do “Do what makes you happy” commercials show people hiking and doing other physical activities and not people playing video games in a dimly lit room endlessly