eelio

i was actually born as a CD but a wizard turned me into a human to teach me a lesson

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

unrestrained summer fun

my body knows something that i don’t and i can’t get her to talk to me

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

happy ballpiss day!

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes