Uncle Duke

As I open up this letter, the first thing that comes to mind is how addicting the sound of the keyboard is when I’m undistracted and able to free my thoughts. The plan is to put this away in a progress folder and open it up again this time next year so I can document my journey of awakening.

Lately I’ve been opening up to meditation, and allowing myself to seek therapy in certain areas of my life which I’ve swept under the rug for the last decade. I know there’s a stigma in our community about counseling, but there’s a quote that always stuck with me that says “maybe you’re searching among the branches, for what only appears in the roots”.  I used to get frustrated a lot because I felt like I was misunderstood. It took some time to realize that even I don’t understand myself completely and that I needed someone else to guide me in the right direction on my spiritual path.

I met with the youth pastor at my church last Wednesday, and we sat down and talked about life for an hour after I got done with jury duty. 18 months ago I had my heart set on being a recording artist and now I’m finding myself in church at 3 o’clock in the afternoon in the middle of the week looking for answers. Life is funny. We went back and forth about distractions, Trump, and the new challenges facing young millennial Christians. Needless to say, I walked out on fire ready to tell somebody else about what I had learned. To my disappointment, I came to a realization that no one really cares until their ready to receive the truth.

Note to self: It’s incredible what you can find when you’re actively seeking knowledge and wisdom, and alarming how much can pass you by when you’re not. Always seek.

I can’t really explain the feeling that I currently have in my chest but it’s worth giving it a shot. As of today I’m thousands of dollars in debt, losing friends who I once called brothers, and surrounded by people who are afraid to tell me the truth and talk behind my back. But there’s a voice in my head that keeps telling me this is only part of the ascension, and there will be better days ahead if you always do the right thing.

Hold on because God has a hold on you.

My prayers go out to the families and friends of those who were injured or killed in the senseless attack that took place in Brussels earlier this week.

As much as I worry about the current state of the world we inhabit, I’m mostly concerned about the current state of our minds. I read a post this morning that detailed the tragedy of the bombing and it ended by saying, “It’s time to get right with Christ”.

Let it be known, I encourage everybody to build a relationship with God. But let’s be very clear: If the reason for doing so is because you’re finally paying attention to signs of the end times, you’ve missed the entire point. Is God’s abundant love not ENOUGH of a reason? Is the fact that His Holy Son took human form to bear our sins not enough of a reason? Are the great faith stories of Abraham, Moses, and Joseph not enough?

Entertain me for a minute and just look around you. If you’re reading this post, it means that you are connected online… which probably means you ate a meal today, and it’s safe to assume you have a place to sleep tonight. But you still feel like you’re not blessed because you’re “broke” and can’t afford Chipotle but you went to a college where you paid $20,000 a year. Here’s a secret: If you’re not praising God in the situation you’re currently in, you haven’t learned to humble yourself and be thankful. Is it not enough? Or do you need a house on the hills to let you know that you’re blessed an highly favored.

Signs of the end times are clear and evident to anyone who is slowing down from the busyness of life and paying attention. Alongside tragedies, the Bible also says, “In the last days men will be lovers of their own self, unthankful, discontent, and lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God (2 Timothy 3:1)

God’s continuous grace should more than enough for reason for you to decide today to get right with Christ.

Recently my guilty pleasure has been spending free time watching documentaries that are based on a true story. Once you know something happened in real life, it makes every scene more suspenseful.

Food for Thot(s) Episode 3: Casual Dating (Try It before you Buy It)

I think we can universally agree on these three things: Everyone deserves to be happy, everyone can be happy, but not everybody is happy.

Where did we even adapt this concept of casual dating? This isn’t Costco where you can sample something out before you buy it, these are people. Why does our generation want to participate in the activities of people in relationships but not claim the responsibility of a relationship? It’s a never ending cycle that breaks the ability to commit to anything. That’s why we can’t commit to a job, school, or people. And the real tragedy is that we can’t commit to God. All because we want the benefits of things with value, but we don’t want the responsibilities that come along with them.

To my fellow sisters and queens: You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Challenge yourself to make a commitment to God before you make a commitment to a man. Men will fail you, and lie to you, and leave you, but He won’t.

I remember one day I had to pull over on the side of the road in my 2006 Kia Sedona. The gas meter was indicating that the tank was full, and it’s not even that my car broke down that day…but I did.

Here was the issue: I had become so infatuated with the “idea” of what my life should “be” like, that I became miserable because those dreams were not yet my reality. I’ve always believed in the concept of perusing what makes you happy. The problem is I became overly obsessed with the “idea” of success rather than focusing on my everyday duties, and then real life caught up to me.

So here I am in the car on US-75 N…And I said a prayer that I believe has since changed my life. Here’s what I said,

“Dear God, everything that once made sense to me is falling apart. I’m sorry for constantly praying to you only for blessings without even taking the time to get to know you first. If it’s your will, give me a sign this week. Amen.”

Simple right?

You would think that He began to reveal Himself to me in great and glorious ways, correct? Here’s the honest truth; Things got worse. If I even started to explain the chain of events that began to explode in my life since that day, even my own mother wouldn’t believe me lol Stress became such a frequent burden that I had to learn to accommodate it over time.

But here’s the good news: After every struggle, there was a blessing. After every worry, there was comfort. Sometimes I would even have to stretch my faith to the last minute (Especially with my bills lol), but somehow I made it out alive without drowning.

“Know this: The trying of your faith produces patience”

I’ve reached a point in my experience with God where I now hold His will in a higher regard than I do my own. The things of the world don’t excite me like they used to because the truth has a way of setting you free.

Fast forward a few months and here was my prayer this morning,

“Dear God, everything that never made sense to me is finally coming together. As I’ve taken more time to get to know you, your blessings are new every day. If it’s your will, use me this week to show your character to someone else.”

If anyone forgot or needed proof of a higher power…I stand here as a living, breathing witness.

I used to have it bad for this beautiful brown skin queen I met in my college years. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been tardy or skipped, but I was always early for that 8:30 class that the both of us were in. I don’t even like coffee but I asked her out for Starbucks one day because I would always catch her sniffing her stainless steel mug every morning before she would steal a sip. I kept it as cool and player as possible, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do everything I could to try and grab her attention. Maybe she missed the signs. Anyway life went on, the class ended, and so did my fantasy about her. It’s too bad I never got her to see me the way I saw her.

Consider this: God wants our attention but we keep missing the signs. He allows difficult situations to happen in our life so we can learn to rely on Him. Once you start to see Him the way He sees you, everything will start to change. “I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11  

Quick story: I have a friend who recently got engaged to a great woman and plans to spend the rest of his life happily married. Two days after they announced the news, I was catching up with some old friends who happened to catch wind of the story behind his proposal. The conversation went something like this…“His proposal was so basic!” Followed by the next comment, “If my future husband ever got me a ring like that, I wouldn’t even post it on Instagram”.

I wanted to share the golden rule for life and I can’t stress this point any more than what I’m about to say in the next few lines:

The biggest issue we face in this new age society is caring more about the appearance than the principle. Let me put it another way; We’ve conditioned ourselves to thinking that love is a feeling and not a promise. Why is it that we only pray to God when we need something? Every one of us can testify that we all have that one friend who only calls when they need a favor. How urgently are you willing to help someone who’s not a real friend? This is where it gets interesting. There will come a time in your personal relationships where the "feeling" isn't enough. For better or for worse. Mature love is when you can still trust and obey when God doesn't answer your prayer.

Here's the good news. Love only has one requirement: that you meet each other half way. It’s simply not enough to say “If you do this for me, then I’ll do this for you”. If you’re expecting an illustrious proposal on Main Street in Italy just to say “Look at what someone did for me” then you’re missing the point. If you’re expecting showers of blessings from Heaven, then you have to start being a blessing to others first. Go out of your way to do something for God and watch what doors He will start opening for you. Love is not expressed by what is being done for you, but by what you’re doing for others. Principle over appearance.

Food for thought.

I’ve had my fair share of experience when it comes to romance. Love is a complicated feeling and it’s layers are endless. I’m in the mood to offer some free advice. On today’s episode of Food for Thot(s), here’s a word you can chew on for the rest of the week: Demands.

It’s a word we hear all the time. “Supply and Demand”. Even J. Cole had a lyric on Forest Hills Drive that says, “F*ck good, hommie we demand great”.  I digress, but here’s where that word is important for application.

Side note: This isn’t for the casual dater. If you’re in a serious relationship or looking for one, it’s of the utmost importance that you start making demands. Now before you go and tell your boyfriend that you demand Chipotle and you need him to text you back every five seconds, that’s not what I meant. Healthy demands consist on insisting honesty. Insisting on equal and constant communication. Insisting that your partner go to church as much as they go Uptown on Saturday night etc. I know, you’re nervous it might be overwhelming and you’ll scare them off.  That’s the point though. Love isn’t build-a-bear where you can make it how you want it. If someone cares for you enough, they won’t see that as a burden, but they’ll see it as an act of love.

 People break up all the time and when you ask them why they say things like “They just don’t understand me” or “It was getting too crazy and I just wanna do me”. “I’m just not happy” or the infamous “it’s not you, it’s me”. It always boils down to us. The 10 commandments are only hard to keep because we don’t fully love God and still have our own best interest in mind. Love is a selfless act when it’s carried through correctly.When you learn what love actually is you’ll stop seeing demands as inconveniences, and more as opportunities to prove your love.

Food for thought.

Stay blessed  

Apparently Napoleon and I have a few things in common. Aside from the fact that he was a Frenchmen, we were both born on August 15 with many plans to take over the world. Here’s one of his more famous quotes, “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another”. Sounds simple right? Entertain me for a minute or two while we put this thought to the test.

Here’s a scenario:

You’ve been working at your job for a year now. The time finally came for you to enter into the working world and as if that wasn’t enough, you were broke so almost any job would do. You’re grateful for the gig and your laid back co-workers, but deep down you know it’s not your passion. If you could do school all over again and borrow $100,000 from the government, it wouldn’t be for this. For example’s sake, let’s just say your dream is to help under privileged children and open up your own lucrative business. You’ve already been volunteering at an after school program and began the infant stages of applying for a loan to get your product up and running. BOOM- one day on a Tuesday afternoon you get a call from an out of state number, but curiosity forces you to answer the call. “Hello?” “Hi, this is Mark Cuban from the Dallas Mavericks and nationally syndicated ABC show Shark Tank”. You stand up like the president just walked in the room, and lose all self-control in your body. He continues… “I was looking through the local paper and thought you had a great business idea. How exactly do you plan on making the product and what will your profit return look like in one year?”

Now this can either go one in two ways.

You will either completely blow this and leave him disappointed in your incompetence, or you’ll get to quit your job tomorrow and employ yourself. Amazing right?

The difference between an average life and a life more abundant can boil down to one sentence. Are you starting to see how powerful the words we speak are?

Let’s take it one step further. At the beginning of time, God didn’t get out His magic wand and laser shoot things into creation. The verse clearly indicates that God SAID let there be light. He spoke creation into existence. The words we speak have the authority to create positive or negative circumstances. What we say to another person has the ability to change the atmosphere of their life. Our speech has the power to alter human history. “I Have a Dream” was just a dream until it was spoken. Independence was still unreached until it became a declaration.

“Think twice before you speak…”

Leave no word of importance unsaid. Make your requests known to God. Tell your family you love them. Be confident and unafraid of speaking the truth. Your words are important.

Till next time,

I’ve concluded that my least favorite question of all time is…*drumroll*….*pause for effect*…

 “So what do you do now?”

Unfortunately for me, I probably get asked this every day since I graduated college last year in May. As a matter of fact, I get asked that question so much that I’ve officially rehearsed and memorized my answer. I finally managed to make it sound good enough for people to think that I didn’t waste four years of my life in school with wild weekends and last minute papers.  What I really want to say when I hear that question is, “Honestly…I’m out here slaving every day to keep these lights on, and DJ Khaled wasn’t lying when he said it costs money to eat”. The ugly truth is, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing besides pretending in everyone’s face and secretly trying to find my place in this world.

There’s good news though. For the first time in my entire life, I surprisingly feel alive. Of course I aspire to eventually find a better job, relieve my high levels of stress and debt, and surround myself with REAL friends…but all of these emotions, good or bad…Make me feel like I’m alive.

I had a conversation with God yesterday and it felt real. The prayer eventually ended in an exchange. My partner and I asked for very specific things and we promised to do something in return when our requests were granted.  If there was a 2016 version of Doubting Thomas, his name would be David Mwansa. I just always need proof. The ending of this story is still unwritten but I’ll let you know how it works out for me.

Something inspired me to document moments of my life in writing. The plan is to look back one day and have physical proof of how far God has led me.

“So what do I do now?”

I’m a work in progress. Stumbling my way to success. Praying my way to paradise. Finding my way to freedom.

I read a tweet the other day that I thought was dope, it said, “your elevation may require some isolation”. Don’t be afraid to find yourself. Don’t be afraid to be different. The testing of your faith develops patience. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

Till next time,