#duke documents

Food for Thot(s) Episode 3: Casual Dating (Try It before you Buy It)

I think we can universally agree on these three things: Everyone deserves to be happy, everyone can be happy, but not everybody is happy.

Where did we even adapt this concept of casual dating? This isn’t Costco where you can sample something out before you buy it, these are people. Why does our generation want to participate in the activities of people in relationships but not claim the responsibility of a relationship? It’s a never ending cycle that breaks the ability to commit to anything. That’s why we can’t commit to a job, school, or people. And the real tragedy is that we can’t commit to God. All because we want the benefits of things with value, but we don’t want the responsibilities that come along with them.

To my fellow sisters and queens: You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Challenge yourself to make a commitment to God before you make a commitment to a man. Men will fail you, and lie to you, and leave you, but He won’t.

I remember one day I had to pull over on the side of the road in my 2006 Kia Sedona. The gas meter was indicating that the tank was full, and it’s not even that my car broke down that day…but I did.

Here was the issue: I had become so infatuated with the “idea” of what my life should “be” like, that I became miserable because those dreams were not yet my reality. I’ve always believed in the concept of perusing what makes you happy. The problem is I became overly obsessed with the “idea” of success rather than focusing on my everyday duties, and then real life caught up to me.

So here I am in the car on US-75 N…And I said a prayer that I believe has since changed my life. Here’s what I said,

“Dear God, everything that once made sense to me is falling apart. I’m sorry for constantly praying to you only for blessings without even taking the time to get to know you first. If it’s your will, give me a sign this week. Amen.”

Simple right?

You would think that He began to reveal Himself to me in great and glorious ways, correct? Here’s the honest truth; Things got worse. If I even started to explain the chain of events that began to explode in my life since that day, even my own mother wouldn’t believe me lol Stress became such a frequent burden that I had to learn to accommodate it over time.

But here’s the good news: After every struggle, there was a blessing. After every worry, there was comfort. Sometimes I would even have to stretch my faith to the last minute (Especially with my bills lol), but somehow I made it out alive without drowning.

“Know this: The trying of your faith produces patience”

I’ve reached a point in my experience with God where I now hold His will in a higher regard than I do my own. The things of the world don’t excite me like they used to because the truth has a way of setting you free.

Fast forward a few months and here was my prayer this morning,

“Dear God, everything that never made sense to me is finally coming together. As I’ve taken more time to get to know you, your blessings are new every day. If it’s your will, use me this week to show your character to someone else.”

If anyone forgot or needed proof of a higher power…I stand here as a living, breathing witness.