Compassion for the machine

I wanted to take a break from social media to work on my writing, studies, life, etc. I don't count Tumblr as social media because I don't find myself endlessly scrolling on this platform.

In fact, I find a lot of inspiration that motivates me to create stories. I couldn't help but notice how much more I have been on my phone. Not because I'm scrolling mindlessly on this app or any other app but because of how handy my phone can be when I have idea or thoughts.

My relationship with my phone has gotten more functional. I no longer go to my phone because I need a distraction. My device actually helps me be mindful nowadays.

Peace is merely another escape from this virtual reality

I stare at my phone screen. I have one more follower than I am following and I internally scream. Why am I not getting enough likes?

I refuse to follow more people because, I don't know, maybe they will think I'm important if I only follow a select few. Or maybe, just maybe, I think people might follow me out of pure pity. I no longer feel important.

I delete the Socialite app. I have been stuck in my mind for as long as I can remember. I break away from my phone for a second and I can't even make eye contact with the person next to me.

I've always had a hard time with eye contact but it has gotten significantly worse with the invention of these small contraptions we call smart phones.

I once had an idea of tiny, intelligent cubes that can fit in our pockets when I was in kindergarten, but I guess a rich man beat me to it.

I deleted the stupid app today because I want to change my perspective, but I realized I can't do that if I'm stuck behind a screen all day. I want out of this virtual reality.

I want to find myself in a place where I feel new and free. I want hope balanced out with despair in healthy bursts of encouragement.

I want to rid myself of this dark void I cannot seem to escape through social engagements anymore.

I want out. I want home. I want peace.