I talk about music and horses too much.

Roughly six months before the release of The Force Awakens, the post-grunge band Breaking Benjamin released Dark Before Dawn, their first album after over six years under a brand-new lineup. From that album, three singles from that ended up on the official Spotify playlist for Kylo Ren. The three songs that made it onto Kylo Ren’s playlist are “Angels Fall,” “Defeated”, and perhaps the most telling of Kylo Ren’s character, “Ashes of Eden”.

This song has been analyzed to death by the Reylo fandom, and for good reason. It is perhaps one of the most emotional songs on Kylo Ren’s playlist, certainly the most emotional of all the Breaking Benjamin songs. Lead singer and songwriter Ben Burnley has never strayed from writing powerful lyrics and pouring emotion into his performances, as most singer-songwriters tend to do, but the Dark Before Dawn album is a little different.

Breaking Benjamin’s music had gotten progressively darker as time wore on, possibly relating to Ben Burnley’s own worsening health. Some of the songs darker in tone on Saturate, their very first album, are “No Games” Sugarcoat”, and “Shallowbay”. We Are Not Alone went darker, with “So Cold”, “Away”, “Believe”, “Forget It”, and “Break My Fall”, which contains references to Ben Burnley’s fear of flying. The next album, Phobia, gets even darker, with songs like “The Diary of Jane”, “Breath”, “Dance with the Devil”, “Had Enough”, “You”, and “You Fight Me”, as well as the intro and outro which similar to “Break My Fall” reference Ben’s fear of flying. Then you get to Dear Agony, and it’d be easier to list the one song that isn’t completely dark, “I Will Not Bow”.

Dark Before Dawn shatters this pattern. The songs start off, as you’d guess it, rather dark, before getting lighter in tone and theme before the happy, heartwarming final track. The opening and closing tracks are literally titled “Dark” and “Dawn”, respectively. The track order gives emotional insight to the development of the album. Ben Burnley is a recovering alcoholic and became too sick to perform back in 2010, which lead to the band’s hiatus. Throughout the hiatus and particularly toward the end of it, frustrated with the lack of answers for his health, Ben Burnely went back to writing songs, and most of the songs from Dark Before Dawn reflect Burnley’s reinvigorated optimism and dedication to his work.

The tracks on Dark Before Dawn still carry dark tones and still carry themes of despair, but they also inspire hope. Songs like “Failure”, “Never Again”, and “The Great Divide” are all anthems of hope, and even “Angels Fall”, and “Defeated” carry optimistic vibes when you analyze the lyrics. The entire album is the story of a man overcoming adversity, renewing his zest for life, prioritizing what he cares about, healing, recovering, and getting better, despite the pain he’s feeling, which brings us to our favorite vulnerable warlord, Kylo Ren.

The songs on Kylo Ren’s playlist are an interesting selection. “The Diary of Jane”’s presence on Mace Windu’s playlist tells me that Disney wasn’t just pulling songs from a fresh album, so really any of Breaking Benjamin’s singles were fair game. So, why not “Blow Me Away”? Why not “Breath”? Why not “Until the End” or “I Will Not Bow”? Why not “Lights Out” or “Give Me a Sign?” Why not Dark Before Dawn single “Failure”, which was an official single, unlike “Defeated”?

It could possibly be because of the elements of healing and self-realization that inspired Dark Before Dawn. “Angels Fall” is loaded with hopeful lyrics – “I can’t give up, I can’t give in”; “The sun begins to rise”; “The turning of the tide”; “I’ll carry you and we will live forever” – but it also carries some darker lyrics – “I walked the path the led me to the end”; “I’m caught beneath with nothing left to give”; “I fought the fight now only dark remains”; “Divided I will stand And I will let this end”. Same with “Defeated”. There’s the hopelessness and despair – “We all fall down, the pain goes on”; “We bare the fruit of war”; “No love to believe in”; “Forgotten and betrayed”; “I’m falling to pieces Stained and used” – and the determination and self-realization – “I will stand alone No longer defeated”; “And I’ll be the fire that dries the flood”; “As I drag the Devil down”; “I know what I need and it’s not you”. These are very powerful songs that when applied to Kylo Ren give incredible insight to his character, the struggle he’s going through, and the possible path that he’ll follow.

Then we get to Ashes of Eden.

Now, I’m going to get a little bit personal here, first time I heard “Ashes of Eden”, I was driving home from the city and I almost had to pull over because the song made me cry. The lyrics hit me super hard and made me think of my father, who’d passed away seven months prior. “Ashes of Eden” sort of became a song of mourning for me, and despite the numerous things I’ve come to associate with that song, I still associate it with mourning my deceased loved ones, as I skipped it in my car for a solid month after my brother passed away this spring.

It’s a very emotionally moving song, as Ben Burnley intended. Shortly after the single release of “Ashes of Eden”, the band put on a contest asking fans to record a video telling the band what the song meant to them, wherein the winner would receive a guitar signed by the band and VIP passes. The website they were allowing contestants to upload their entries was flooded with responses, some truly touching stories. They hadn’t done this for any other song on Dark Before Dawn and to my knowledge they haven’t done this for any other single release. This song is a big deal to the band.

My own interpretation of the song informed my reaction to seeing it on Kylo Ren’s playlist the first time. Because I associated it with mourning my father, I figured this was true for Kylo Ren, that he missed Han and regretted killing him. While I can safely say that this is true, there’s so much more to how this song relates to Kylo Ren’s character.

Starting with the first verse, which is drastically underrated in the Reylo fandom:

Will the faithful be forgiven When we come into the end? Will I miss the final warning From the lie that I have lived? Is there anybody calling? I can see the soul within And I am not worthy, I am not worthy of this

This is a really strong look into Kylo Ren’s personal struggle with the path he’s taken in life. Adam Driver has described Kylo Ren as a “religious fanatic”, so drawing parallels between Kylo Ren and the religious faithful makes sense. Religion often promises some sort of end time to its followers, a positive end time to the faithful, and a negative end time to the faithless. Kylo Ren is following the path of the Dark side, which promises power and dominance. Connecting this first line to Kylo Ren’s character makes it seem like he’s questioning this reward that’s promised to him by Snoke and the Dark side.

The next line makes Kylo Ren’s doubt painfully obvious. Not only does he feel like he’s been feeding off of lies, but he feels like his life is a lie. He spent the first 23 years of his life not knowing his grandfather was Darth Vader, lord knows how many lies Snoke told him while he was growing up and after he left Luke’s Jedi Order, and after killing Han and regretting doing so, chances are he’s doubting everything he’s done in his life. He’s miserable, and he might be waiting for something to tell him to change his life around, but he might not even be able to see the sign.

Maybe he’s missed his chance. Maybe he feels like he doesn’t deserve the chance to turn his life around. Killing Han is the first thing we know he’s regretted, and we don’t know what else he’s done that might be catching up to him.

Are you with me after all? Why can’t I hear you? Are you with me through it all? Then why can’t I feel you? Stay with me, don’t let me go Because there’s nothing left at all Stay with me don’t let me go Until the ashes of Eden fall

This part is both straightforward and incredibly vague. It’s straightforward because it shows his need for a particular presence in his life. It’s vague as all hell because we have no idea who “you” could be referring to. Is it Luke? Is it Han? Is it Leia? Is it Finn? Is it Rey? Who fucking knows! For Kylo Ren, it could be any one of these people or a combination of these people. But it is interesting to note the intense desire to be with this person, whoever it is that Kylo Ren feels he needs. He feels lost without this person, maybe even a little betrayed by their absence.

Will the darkness fall upon me When the air is growing thin? Will the light begin to pull me To its everlasting will? I can hear the voices haunting There is nothing left to fear And I am still calling, I am still calling to you

This is perhaps the favorite verse of the Reylo fandom, and it’s easy to see why. The direct identification of Dark and Light as conflicting elements not only shows the internal struggle of Kylo Ren, but also the external elements influencing him, with Snoke as the darkness and Rey as the light. It’s interesting to note how each of these are referred to. The darkness is trapping Ren, suffocating him, taking advantage of him, while the light is pulling him, drawing him near, promising some sort of forever.

This is reflective of the external conflict of Snoke’s influence versus Rey’s influence on Kylo Ren. Snoke had always been a presence in Kylo Ren’s life, tormenting him since before he was even born, and taking advantage of his insecurities when he realized his family had been lying to him, and trying to snuff out any pull to the Light that might still exist within Ren, from his familial ties to his own identity. Rey was found by Ren through his being drawn to her. She presented something to him that was contrary to what Snoke had offered him, and he sought her out through his own choice, yet there’s still something about her that attracts him, and what she’s drawing him to is something Snoke does not want for Ren, whatever it may be. If Rey is supposed to be the Light and offering forever, Snoke is the Dark that’s harbingering the end.

The voices haunting is another line that’s incredibly telling, but incredibly vague. It could be Snoke. It could be the people Kylo Ren has killed. It could be Han, or someone else from Ren’s family. It could be so many things, but we will probably never know. This song wasn’t written specifically for Kylo Ren, but it was chosen for him for a reason. This line might not be it, but it certainly fits with what we now know from textual and subtextual evidence. This also applies to the last part of that lyric chunk. We don’t know who he could be calling to or if that line was something the Disney/Lucasfilm people had in mind with choosing this song, but given the speculation around Force bonds, as well as just being able to feel people through the Force, it wouldn’t take too much imagination to see how this line could apply to Kylo Ren’s character and story arc.

Heaven above me, take my hand Shine until there’s nothing left but you

“Heaven” is a concept that exists in numerous religions and is often thought to be state or plane of paradise rewarded to virtuous souls. For the faithful, Heaven is usually the ultimate goal, it’s supposed to be the positive end time for the faithful. It’s often considered to be a place of eternal happiness and light. In this case, Heaven is being directly tied to “you”, this mystery person that Kylo Ren is desperate to have around. This line, connected to Kylo Ren’s character, suggests that maybe this person is all that Kylo Ren needs to turn his life around, or at least be the catalyst. Maybe this person is all that Kylo Ren needs when all is said and done.

Tying “you” to “Heaven”, “Heaven” to “light”, and “light” to Rey, there’s a good chance the mysterious “you” is supposed to be Rey.

For all the emphasis that we place on Rey and Ren’s relationship, she hasn’t really influenced Ren all that much. Her relationship with him hasn’t been the cause of his doubts in his position, like Finn and Han were, but rather evidence something more to Ren. He was rather gentle with her, as gentle as he could be, while interrogating her. He explicitly stated that he didn’t want to kill her. Snoke outright accused him of having compassion her. She hasn’t had much of an affect on him, yet, but she does draw him to something Snoke doesn’t want Ren anywhere near. She pulls out his compassion and makes him act against his more nefarious goals.

This next part is a bit more speculative in nature, but it should be worth looking into. The music video for “Ashes of Eden” has been described by Ben Burnley as “a sort of modern, sci-fi take on Adam and Eve,” and the video really shows this. The video shows the story of a man and woman, as aliens, the man is trapped in space and the woman enters space to save him, she loses her grip, he begins to plummet through space, she decides fuck it and kills her link to the ship so she can be with him, even though they were killed when they plummeted to Earth and burned up in the atmosphere. Millenia later they are reincarnated as male and female humans and meet again as symbolic remnants of their ashes fall around them.

There are lots of parallels to be drawn here. The man lost in space easily parallels Kylo Ren feeling trapped with Snoke and the Dark side. The woman entering space to save him could potentially be paralleled by Rey deciding to help Ren escape his situation, although such an event has yet to be seen, but is possible given that Rey herself has shown compassion. Killing herself to be with the man, again, we have yet to see something like this happen with Ren and Rey, but it could happen, either literally or figuratively. Maybe she could just be leaving something behind, it doesn’t have to mean they die. Meeting in another life, brought together by fate, similarly doesn’t have to be a direct parallel, but Ren and Rey’s meeting could have been the will of the Force, and maybe they will share a Force bond.

As for Rey and Kylo Ren being Adam and Eve, there’s a lot to consider. In the Bible, Adam and Eve are the first Man and Woman from whom all human beings are said to be descended from. Birthing an entirely new species of sentient beings seems like a little too much pressure to put on Rey and Kylo Ren. But, they could be the start of something new. With the upcoming Episode 8 being titled “The Last Jedi”, and the Sith being nonexistent at this point, and the existence of a balance of Light and Dark within Ren and possibly within Rey, there is a chance that the path they end up taking will not be one that we’ve seen before, and one that has never been too prominent in the galaxy. Many people speculate that Rey, with or without Ren, will pursue a path similar to the Gray Jedi in the old EU. If this is the path Rey chooses, chances are, Ren will follow her or walk beside her, as 1) he’s drawn to her, and 2) the path she takes could be what’s best for the existence of Light and Dark within Ren. Through this, they become Adam and Eve, bringing a whole new philosophy to live and helping it spread and flourish throughout the galaxy.

I know it seems like a lot to parallel Ren and Rey’s relationship not just through the song, but also through the music video. “Ashes of Eden” was added to Kylo Ren’s playlist sometime in late May-early June following the song’s release as a single, and the music video was released in July, and the band has creative freedom over their works. This is a lot of speculation for a few lyrics and a music video.

It helps to keep in mind that Breaking Benjamin is technically a Disney property.

Breaking Benjamin is signed to Hollywood Records, the label that has almost every prominent Disney singer you can think of, from the Jonas Brothers to Vanessa Hudgens to Miley Cyrus. They also happen to have Breaking Benjamin, Sabrina Carpenter, Queen, and previously Atreyu. Studio interference has influenced Breaking Benjamin’s work before, as supposedly it was the label that pushed for “Skin” from the Saturate album to be released as a single before “Medicate”.

It’s hard to gauge how much influence the label actually has over the band’s creative work, and how much of that influence is ordered from the higher-ups at Disney, but this is worth noting. Disney wanted “Ashes of Eden” on Kylo Ren’s playlist almost as soon as it came out, possibly to promote the new album, but also probably because of its obvious parallels with Ren’s character. They took a chance with including Breaking Benjamin’s music and the payoff was immense. If there was absolutely no interference from Disney or Hollywood Records over the music video (Ben Burnley did describe Star Trek and Gravity as influence for the video and is known to be a Star Wars fan), then they got extremely fucking lucky if “Ashes of Eden” was chosen for its parallels to Kylo Ren and his relationship with Rey.

This is mostly speculation, but it is worth taking all of this into consideration. This playlist wasn’t some angsty teen associating some random lyrics with whatever shallow detail they think is deep but really just makes them look pretentious, these songs were chosen for the insights they could offer to Kylo Ren’s character (with an occasional joke or two thrown in). A lot of these songs explore Kylo Ren’s relationships with certain characters, most of these alluding to Rey.

Look at this wolf

By taking income into account, it allows the impoverished able to still survive while paying any fines they may incur. And, ultimately, while $100,000 dollars would be noticeable to a millionaire, they would still get by. And, assuming the law is properly implemented, they would be paying the same equivalent of their yearly income that a poorer person would. That’s what makes it fair. They would be impacted the same way - but you are looking at the amount rather than the equation.

Person making 10 dollars an hour: “Fuck, I better slow down”

Millionaire driving a Jaguar: “LOL 400 DOLLARS, FUCK THAT, NYOOM”

Compared to a proportional ticket.

Person making 10 dollars an hour and must pay 400 dollar ticket: “Fuck, I better slow down.”

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.

You see this. You see this and you probably think “wow that’s a beat up team, he probably just got through a really difficult fight, maybe a gym leader or something” or something to that effect.

But that’s not what happened.

This was not the result of some epic Pokemon battle for the history books.

This was the result of A SINGLE FUCKING LEVEL 35 CLEFAIRY.

Let me tell you all a story.

The fight began like any other. I was making my way up Celestial Tower when I encountered a trainer, a Pokefan no less. When he sent out his only Pokemon, a level 35 Clefairy, I laughed at the thought of easily crushing this trainer. Sending out my Krokorok, Gordan, I started the battle.

I first used Crunch. Taking out a good 2/3 of the Clefairy’s health, I thought for sure that the fight would soon be over.

I was wrong.

Crunch seemed like a good move at first, but it set off a chain of events that could not be stopped.

Due to the Clefairy’s Cute Charm, Gordan fell in love with it. Not only this, but the Clefairy’s first move was none other than Minimize. On the next term, despite these circumstance, I figured I’d just try to get a quick Crunch in and finish the job done.

Gordan, however, was paralyzed by love. The Clefairy proceeded to use Metronome, which ended up being Ingrain. The Clefairy then began to restore some of its health thanks to this.

Not wanting to take any more chances, I switched to my trusty Arcanine, Admiral. Admiral had never failed me before, always being there in the nick of time to save the day in a blaze of glory.

On the turn used to switch Pokemon, the Clefairy had used Minimize once again.

Attempting to finish the enemy off quickly, I had Admiral use Flamethrower. This, however, missed. The Clefairy used Minimize.

And this continued. Admiral just could not seem to hit the enemy, and each time the enemy kept getting harder to hit, while all the time also slowly regaining what damage I had managed to do.

After capping out evasiveness, the Clefairy proceeded to begin using Cosmic Power to get its Defense/Special Defense. As Admiral struggled to defeat this enemy, the enemy just kept getting stronger and healthier.

Soon the Clefairy’s Defense/Special Defense were capped. It was then that it unleashed Stored Power, a move powered up through the user raising its stats. With the Clefairy having raised its defensive stats so much, this attack ended up one shotting Admiral.

It then proceeded to one shot Jacque the Axew, Baabaalaza the Ampharos, and Frank the Dewott, all trying in vain to do some damage.

Eventually, it was back to just Gordan left. Gordan, being a dark type, was not affected by Stored Power, a Psychic move.

Here was where the real fun began.

Not being able to actually hit Gordan, the Clefairy continued to attempt to use Stored Power until it ran out of PP. It then moved on to Metronome, which failed to do any real damage before this, too, ran out of PP.

As this was happening, Gordan was trying desperately to actually hurt the enemy. Using a Dire Hit and single X Accuracy/Attack that I had on me and spamming any attack he had, he struggled and struggled to hurt it. But between Gordan falling in love with it again due to Cute Charm when a Crunch somehow managing to land and it using Minimize so much, Gordan simply could not do enough damage to outweigh the effect of Ingrain.

And so came at least five minutes of just Gordan attempting to attack and being immobilized by love, missing, or doing too little damage, as the Clefairy continued to use Minimize and Cosmic Power that no longer actually had any effect.

Eventually, blessedly, the Clefairy ran out of moves, and begin to hurt itself with Struggle. Slowly but steadily the Clefairy begins to die, with the Struggle damage being more than Ingrain could heal.

After some time, the Clefairy was a single Struggle away from fainting. With much pleasure, I told Gordan to just use some random attack, and I waited for the Clefairy to faint.

THE MOTHERFUCKER USED A GOD DAMN HYPER POTION AND BROUGHT IT BACK TO FULL FUCKING HEALTH.

Gordan stared open mouthed at the enemy as I just silently stared at the scene for a full minute. The level of rage I was experiencing had never been felt since people in second grade used to make fun of me and call me a girl.

Then, however, I kind of just spent a bit more time just letting the Clefairy use Struggle again.

And finally, blessedly, the Clefairy ended up causing its own end due to Struggle. Seeing that tiny sliver of HP on it tick away and hearing its death cries made me happier than I’ve ever been since eighth grade when I punched this one really annoying guy in the face.

Gordan stood triumphantly over the corpse of its enemy, awash in his great victory as he proceeded to gain a level from the exp earned.

Together, we spat in the Clefairy owner’s face, and then slowly turned away and walked toward the Pokemon Center. We must have been TM87 (or 34 for you old schoolers) then, because we were SWAGGERING.

…