Fuck Off

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

don’t ever kill your self because maybe someday you will get brunch with your tumblr mutual

no worse feeling that going on some subculture fashion clothing website and seeing the size chart runs from extra small to petite to pequeño to microscopique. yeah here at DeathKillFuckShadow Fantastique Cloth Imaginations i think you’ll find that we see the world a bit difference… we have bleak brutal imaginations… what if blood and fangs were COOL… but we cannot in our most tortured imaginations picture a woman who has a stouter frame than the fucking Insulindian Phasmid

you see that man as a stern daddy dom. i see him as a pathetic wet dish rag ready to be wrung out. we are not the same (but we are still brothers in arms).

Never forget: Moose are legit Ice Age megafauna that never died out.

He just….just….pet the wild moose…the bravery, the hutzpah

The forbidden snoot!

Normally I would say you shouldn’t pet a wild animal, but the moose is already right there. If you’re that close to a moose’s snout you might as well pet it. If the moose wants to kill you, you’re going to die, so you might as well.

@paran0rmaltexas

A giant moose, OP says when that is just a normal size moose

Finding out this was in Tucson by going to the rink on a whim felt like seeing a celebrity.

Dean claiming he's just well fed immediately followed by Famine telling him he's so empty inside nothing can even fill the hole in his soul is - really something 😞😑😭

big life tips dont be neurodivergent dont be poor dont get in any sort of situation and dont let yourself need or crave

not getting good reports back on your progress with this guys

hobbits are kind of like gay uncles

Thank you for the clarification