I have a headache

Can whoever is giving me the evil eye like stop?

I keep seeing repeating numbers everywhere. 5s and 4s mostly. I’m going to Carmel by the sea in a few weeks. I booked this forever ago and was pretty sure I’d end up canceling but different women who are in tune with the universe keep telling me about significant travel and also trees, always with the trees!! So I’m going. You know I had never really been to California until 2 years ago when we went to Sonoma and I was not expecting to have strong feelings about it but I loved it??? and the trees are enormous and old af, that’s gotta be good for my energies. So I’m doing like a spiritual hike thing one day, and maybe a long bike ride another day, and I’ll do some of the trails at point lobos, and then I’ve reserved a day for just hanging in town to eat and drink and bask. My hotel is very cute and my room has a fireplace and I cannot wait to get lit sitting beside it. My emotional state is so interesting right now, I am both deeply sad and also incredibly satisfied?? Maybe even a little happy at the same time? 🤷‍♀️

I thought I’d put on some fun girly pop tunes and man oh man this new Olivia Rodrigo album has me fucked up lol

I packed a really cute picnic to go watch Independence Day in the park. But it was Too Hot, so we watched Independence Day on the couch. We had onion dip and chips, Chicago style pigs in a blanket with the good puff pastry, watermelon with lime and tajin, and white wine spritzers. It was very cute and I took zero pictures.

Rage cried after my first meeting because it is impossible to get any type of answer I actually need to do my job and the entire conversation was derailed because extraneous people were added and the call was supposed to be for MY clarity and I am still unclear!!! Also, I would love if consultants would like..consult. I could hear myself getting frustrated and I haaate being visibly upset at work. I’m very patient and generally relaxed in a professional setting so you know it’s bad when my feelings are leaking.

In therapy yesterday, we were talking about something bitchy my mom did. I caught it in the moment and didn’t engage, but internally it did have the intended effect. We got into how she has narcissistic behavior and how that’s trained me to scan for rejection. Anyway, as my therapist is explaining things, she refers to my mom as “that woman.” lol idk why it gave me warm fuzzies, but it gave me warm fuzzies.