if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

count me outs

Adopting that immediately.

pretending?

I've realized recently that every time I'm asked for socials my response is sorta "oh i don't have twitter" "I'm not on Instagram much" "i uninstalled TikTok a few months ago" and this has led people into believing I'm just someone who doesn't do social media but in reality you can find me in here lets get it on cunts monday through shawty like a melody sunday, 9am to 12am, posting blorbo.

I was going to be like "well that certainly was not true cause you deactivated" and then I looked at the blog and. that's literally my old blog.

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

using your city as a personality trait is such a funny phenomenon thats only allowed when you're from like 5 super well known american cities. imagine if like.. a polish person was like thats how we do it in kędzierzyn koźle

i bet most people that post memes of a little guy wearing a wearing propeller hat don’t even own a propeller hat irl….. its like you guys dont even take joy and whimsy seriously :/

living in a world where any person whos funny on the internet can become a microcelebrity is fascinating because on the one hand it means we've got all these streamers and youtubers and indie creators with no PR team or training who quite understandably dont handle that level of attention with grace sometimes, especially if they got launched to fame as a literal teenager. on the other hand i think some fans become TOO aware of that and start going "cmonnn theyre just a little guy you cant hold them to Standards" and im like. well thats still a human person who is making a substanial living as a public figure while being an asshole. theyve been an asshole for years. at some point it feels like this guy is getting paid to be an asshole.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Hippie church moms donating quinoa chips to my local food bank have done more for me materially than any internet idealist ever has.

snap did more for me when I had it. but I can’t work so my stamps are gone. It helped me feel less like a burden.