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@dtm182

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Ant Problem

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So this was my absolute favourite moment in Mad Max: Fury Road.
Max can’t make the shot. Tries, fails, tries, fails, and there’s only one more bullet left.
No belittling, no defensiveness, no shaming from either of them. It’s just the best person for the job. He hands the rifle over to her, without discussion, to do what she’s good at in the critical moment, and does what he can to support her success – acts as a motionless prop for her shot.
Equals. Respecting each other’s skills. Relying on each other.
If this is madness we could do with a little more of it.
Also let’s not forget one of Max’s major traits up to this point was being jumpy. And he’s just so still here. And so passive to her. I say it that way because all we’ve seen this dude do up to this point is fight everyone and everything like a feral animal, eyes darting, snatching stuff, utterly confused. This is the equivalent of a wild dog letting someone use him as a prop and holding perfectly still for that. The level of trust Max has to give here is insane, and he offers it up willingly.
Watch Robert Reich explain how to save America’s education system
Losing the person you love the most, I can say that it is the worst thing.
You lose all sense of being for awhile. You forget how it is to be happy. You lose yourself because you end up living more in your most treasured memories with that person than in the present.
I was a depressed mess. And not one day goes by that I think on how miserable I made you feel just because I was. I should have gotten help earlier, and I should have shown you how grateful I truly am on how you were there for 3 years trying, giving your all and more so that I could be happy. I'm better now, because I sank and touched the bottom of the ocean. I've been swimming all these months so I can reach the surface and touch land. Maybe this way I can show you how I truly love you and I can show you how I really want to spend every moment with you. I see a future with you. I'm scared. I may eventually get bad again, but now I know how to handle it, and I know that you don't need anyone to be happy but nothing compares to you and how you make me feel. Last night I got bad, I actually talked to you in my head. I saw you right next to me and I talked with you. It's pathetic. I told you everything, I told you how I felt and I begged again for you to stay, I wish you were actually next to me to listen to me. But for the moment, I have to be happy with the thought of you listening to me. Maybe things will get better between you and me, maybe they won't. I pray each night for things to get better. I'm not much of a prayer, and you know it. But I do, God knows how I do pray every night. I plead, and beg for you to come back in silence. Every moment. I always wonder if you're okay, if you've eaten, if you've studied for your exams, if you've finished all your work, if you slept alright, if you had a nightmare, if you're feeling sad, if you're stable. I always worry about you. I care too much. More than you care for me in this moment. Honestly, I didn't believe how badly it would hurt loving and caring so much for someone and not receiving it in return. Never in my life have I done something expecting something in return. I still do everything for you, knowing that you won't talk to me, that you won't say hi, that you won't even look at me, that you won't even think of me. I have your birthday gift already set up. I got everything. And I keep planning everything. I love you more than I love myself. Of course, I've never loved myself, I've liked myself but it's not the same. I'm learning how to stop auto criticizing myself, insulting myself and I'm learning how to stop hating myself, It's a difficult road, but I'm getting there. I'm much better now. If I wasn't, I'd probably be in the psychiatric ward. See I've been having bad thoughts every now and then but I can control them and think them over and reason. I can surpass them and show that I can defeat those bad thoughts. I'm not doing better without you, that's for sure. I've learned what life is without you, and knowing how it is without you, I actually prefer you in it. You make my life much better in every way.
Don't forget me, with every sentiment in my heart I confess, that's my biggest fear. I can't get you out of my head, and I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest.
I always think about waking up next to you and just breathing in profoundly and saying "We made it, we fucking made it".

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Today will be 5 months since I met and fell in love with the love of my life, my boyfriend <3
and:
cuz i really really love him with all my heart <3 he’s my boyfriend but hes my friend also, he’s always there for me when i need him and when life gets to unbearable he’s always there to make me laugh and feel better :$
so i think we deserve a round of applause:
and i’m being really corny now so whatever lol iloveyou so much dani<3 16.8.11
ok thats it i let out my lovey doveyness. lol jhf,wmbwkjebw im so happy :”)
btw sorry tumblrites for all that pda x)
"You're already the voice inside my head"
Every day that passes, I just become more of an emotional wreck. I keep fucking trying to get better, but it's so hard. People that care about me and love me have told me that I should get better because when you'll see me better maybe you'll think to yourself that you actually want to be with me. I really want to believe in that. Does it help me sleep at night? Yes. Does it make me stop having bad thoughts? Yes. Does it make me actually want to get better? Yes. The thought of us possibly getting back together gets me through it all but I would lie if I told you and everyone that at the end of the day I don't end up staring to the ceiling in complete darkness just thinking of you and how badly I fucked up. I would lie if I told you and everyone else that I don't hate myself. I do. I think on all the promises I made, I think in that one goal I set when I met you, which was to actually make you feel like you're worth something and never hurt you. And I fucked that up. I hurt you. I made you cry, we both have. Only us, who truly love each other can make us feel like that. Only we can. Time passes, and I honestly don't fucking want anyone else. You have become my standard, you taught me to see through people and see them for what they really are. I have only two real friends. The same ones who have helped through all this, which I will be eternally grateful. And I had you, and what were you besides mine? You were, you ARE my best friend, my confident, my main source of happiness, my everything. It would be a lie to say that I hate you, I can't. It's impossible for me to hate you, no matter what you've done. I've planned an entire life through all this time for you and me. Because truth is, in all the uncertainty there is in my life, you are the only thing I am sure about. I want you today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, the year after, and every year after. I want you, and only you. I didn't give you the best of me. I wholeheartedly admit it. I gave you the fucking broken depressed part of me. And you deserve much more than that. Call me selfish, call me whatever you want but I know I could give my best to you. And I don't want you to be with anyone else. I can't stand the fact of that happening, and the worst part is that I can't control that and i have to accept the fact that if you choose to, you will. I'm fucking lost without you. I am so sorry for all the pain I've caused. I've haven't cried this much since Dad died, and you were there for me. And November 24th is coming up and I'm fucking terrified. I really hope you will talk to me, call me, or at least text me. I've spent almost an hour and a half searching for this post. I love you so much. I can't say it enough and I can't show it enough, even after all these months that I've been trying non-stop.
I miss you. So. Fucking. Much. and more importantly, I need you.
XVI.
I was bored and had just taken a shower.
I really fucking miss you.
Every day, every hour, every minute, and every second.
I still love you (9:05pm) no I don’t. (9:06pm) I’m so confused. why did this happen. (2:26am) I want you to be happy. if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please. (10:45am) don’t you ever give up. (12:02am) I kind of hate you for leaving me. (8:57pm) but I still love you. (8:59pm) I won’t look at you in person but I talk to you in my head (11:14am) you’re a better listener this way. (11:15am) I’m sorry. (1:43am) maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened (3:37am) no. it’s not my fault. (3:38am) but it kind of is. (3:39am) I hate this (2:00pm) I don’t know who I am without you. (12:01am) why can’t things be like they were before (10:13am) please come back to me. I need you. you need me. (1:58am) we are so goddamn bad for each other it’s beautiful. I’m addicted to our heartbreak. (4:06am) I went through our old messages. I cried because you promised to always be there. you lied. (9:16pm) you smiled at me in the hall today. i thought my chest was being ripped open (11:36pm) I’m glad you’re smiling though. (11:37pm)
texts I saved but never sent you since you left me. (via satanss-mistress)

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