pretty dumb that you cant delete main accounts tbh

You wake up one day with the ability to freeze time at will for as long as you want with no repercussions. What’s the first thing you do with your newfound powers?

take a nap

i would literally always freeze time to sleep that way i would never waste time sleeping again. also. ALSO. FUCK MATE. Not feeling like going to work? Freeze time and chill until you do. In a shitty situation that has you in danger? Freeze time and walk away to safety. its. so useful. I literally. dream about this ability.

I would date an actor just so I can tell people that my boyfriend’s an actor and then they’d be like “oh? What’s he been in?” And I’d say “me” and raise my wine glass and laugh because in this scenario I’m at a fancy cocktail party.

how did you do that so smoothly? 

thats some broadway musical shit

But seriously, I think I love you.

heck no, i’m callin dibs

I mean … how can you not reblog? 

Aw geeze, these sound a-awful powerful Rick..

J-j-just eat it morty! You g-g-g-gotta lick my balls

i want to cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle

tfw you’re stoned and want to cuddle