My Thoughts... mostly.

News: YELLOWSTONE HAS ERUPTED, REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST EVACUATION AREA AND REMAIN CALM, THIS IS A NATIONAL EMERGENCY AND IT IS NOT A DRILL

                So, I know it’s been awhile but I feel the need to write another review while this movie is still fresh in my mind. So without further ado, let’s light this candle. Captain America: TWS was directed by Anthony and Joe Russo and stars Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America, Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, Robert Redford as Alexander Pierce and the man, the legend, the motherfucker, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (but you knew that already)

                The movie starts off, easily enough, with Cap going on a hostage rescue mission with Black Widow and a team of S.H.I.E.L.D. soldiers, however, Black Widow has her own assignment of downloading top secret files about some classified project. This angers the Captain as he feels he can’t trust his own team. He expresses this to Nick Fury, who then proceeds to show him S.H.I.E.L.D’s newest weapon that functions a la Minority Report. Anyway, some spoilers go down and Nick Fury ends up at Steve’s apartment where he tells him to trust no one. Add more spoilers and you’ve got our movie.

                I apologize for the rather bland explanation of the plot but, if I say much more, I’ll end up ruining the movie. However if I could sum up this movie in one unintelligible series of noises it would be: uhhh… eh, well, uhhhhh… good I guess. Now, before you start throwing tomatoes, let me explain. I did enjoy this movie, but it sure as hell wasn’t perfect. I’ll just start by addressing the elephant in the room, the movie is called Captain America: The Winter Soldier, right? Then why is it that The Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan) only gets about 20 minutes of screen time and approximately 5 lines in the whole film. Granted, he was very ominous and badass the whole time, but I think that’s the problem, I wanted to see a lot more of him and Marvel failed to deliver. Also, I’ve noticed Marvel’s developing a nasty habit of *SPOILER THAT YOU’LL REALIZE IT’S A SPOILER ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE* not letting anybody stay dead. *END SPOILER* *SPOILER ABOUT OTHER MARVEL STUFF* (AoS and Thor: TDW)* It started with Agent Coulson in The Avengers and then Loki (The Norse God of Tumblr) in Thor: The Dark World. *OKAY, I THINK THAT DOES IT, END SPOILER* There are some other things you’ll probably end up calling bullshit on during the movie, but most are just the film testing your suspension of disbelief, due to the fact that it’s a comic book movie.

Now then, on to the good things. I did like the way that they brought the two plots, about the secret files Black Widow downloaded and S.H.I.E.L.D’s flying death machines, together, looking back, it was a pretty cool trick. Also, the acting is perfectly on par with every other Avengers’ Universe movie, which is not a bad thing. Chris Evans, Scarlet Johansson and Samuel L. Jackson all play their roles extremely well, but no real standout performances here. Oh, and before I forget, Falcon (Anthony Mackie) is also introduced in this movie and does a damn fine job in his part of the plot

All in all, I’ll say that Captain America: The Winter Soldier was entertaining for its entire 2 hour 16 minute runtime. Unfortunately, that’s about it. It had everything we’ve come to expect in a Marvel film: Great action, great characters, good dialogue, a Stan Lee cameo and a mid-credits (and after-credits) scene. Its biggest problem is that it brings nothing new to the table. So, with that in mind. I’ll say that Captain America: TWS earns a solid 3.5/5.

The plot holes aren’t big enough to ruin the ride, but there’s just enough of them to make it uncomfortable. Well, that’s all I got, so until next time, love your fellow man… but don’t trust them.

Kick-Ass 2 is the second installment in the Kick-Ass Trilogy (based on the comic books by Mark Millar) and this time is brought to us by Writer/Director Jeff Wadlow and stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Dave Lizewski / Kick-Ass, Chloë Grace Moretz as Mindy Macready / Hit-Girl, Jim Carrey as Colonel Stars and Stripes and Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Chris D'Amico / The Motherfucker. (P.S. I haven't read the comic books so this'll be a review of the movie as a movie. Also, there's some spoilers about the first movie in here)

The movie starts off with a parallel scene from the first Kick-Ass where Mindy shoots Dave in the Kevlar as was done to her by her father. Then we move on to high school, where after Mindy's dropped off, by... we'll say her godfather Marcus, she takes a cab to the safe house from the first movie to train all day as Hit-Girl. We then cut to Chris D'Amico arguing with his mom about throwing out his old Red Mist costume. After a strange set of spoilers he finds his mom's black leather S&M costume. He dawns the outfit and declares himself the world's first supervillain, The Motherfucker, and vows to get revenge on Kick-Ass for blasting his father with a bazooka. Cut back to Marcus, who has just found out about Mindy's skipping school, and forbids her from being Hit-Girl ever again. Meanwhile, Kick-Ass joins up with a group of other heroes called Justice Forever, whose members consist of, Insect Man, Night Bitch, Remembering Tommy, Dr. Gravity, Battle Guy and of course, Colonel Stars and Stripes. So now its Justice Forever vs. The Motherfucker's new gang, The Toxic Mega-Cunts, in the last superhero movie of the summer.

If you were a fan of the first Kick-Ass and haven't see this one yet, what the fuck are you still doing here? Go, go and see it now. I personally guarantee you'll have a great time. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is great as Kick-Ass, he's nerdy, he's funny and he continues to stand up for what he believes in, an all-around great job by him. Chloë Grace Moretz still rock as Hit-Girl (I would say she kicks ass, but we all know that's too easy), she's vulgar, aggressive and actually a damn good actress. I hope to see her in more movies coming up (*cough* *cough* Carrie). Christopher Mintz-Plasse did great as The Motherfucker and of course, we can't forget Jim Carrey as Colonel Stars and Stripes. I know Jim Carrey can get somewhat annoying in his movies, but I thought he was fantastic in this one. I just wish we could have seen a little more of him. He was in the movie for maybe 20 minutes and then boom, gone.

The story this time around focuses on The Motherfucker trying to get revenge on Kick-Ass for killing his dad, and he is one ruthless motherfucker (*sigh*), for reasons you'll see that I won't spoil. The movie also has a lot less Hit-Girl and a lot more Mindy this time, but it wasn't boring, as a matter of fact, it was actually pretty cool. We see this girl who for her whole life has been this badass vigilante, try and fit in in high school and actually ends up with the popular girls (a situation that turns out EXACTLY the way you think it will. Well, not exactly the way you think, but you'll see what I mean). It almost felt like two movies that wouldn't have survived on their own got morphed into one awesome film. I wish we could have seen more of Hit-Girl but I'm happy with the direction they took. Also, a little warning, the movie does use a bit of shaky cam during the fight scenes, but it's not like Taken 2 bad, actually it's not all too noticeable if you're sucked into the film, as I was.

Overall, Kick-Ass 2 earns 4.25/5 stars.

The Conjuring is the new horror film director James Wan, who you may know from the first Saw movie. Leading our cast is Vera Farmiga as Lorraine Warren, Patrick Wilson as Ed Warren, Lili Taylor as Carolyn Perron and Ron Livingston as Roger Perron.

Can't give away too much of the plot or I'll ruin some of many scares the movie has to offer so here's the basic gist. The Perron family moves into an old farmhouse where things start going bump in the night. They call in the ghost hunting couple, the Warrens, and then the shit really starts to hit the fan.

First off I'd like to say that the acting in this movie is actually pretty good, especially for a horror film. Like how when everything's getting intense and the collective fear on screen is rising, the kids look like they're actually scared shitless, so props to them. As for the story, we've all heard it before, family moves into haunted house, family calls paranormal experts, and shit proceeds to go down. However this movie will keep your attention with it's gripping suspense. Oh yeah, and the movie is genuinely scary, there are some jump scares sure, but the real fear comes from the suspense of just waiting for something to happen. I'll even admit, it scared me a little, and I go to sleep every night listening to creepypasta. My friend said at some parts he had to shut his eyes so tight it hurt. One problem that most horror films suffer from is that they're all too predictable, however this one doesn't have that problem. I wasn't able to guess what was going to happen next and that kept the movie very entertaining. The only real complaint I have with the movie is that, while the beginning doesn't feel all that slow, it is unnecessary. All it does introduce the Annabelle doll, which only shows up again in one other scene that also doesn't pertain to the plot. It really doesn't even count as somewhat of a sub-plot. Also, the whole "hide-and-clap" motif just dies off after the part you see in the trailer, but then again, I guess it would've gotten old if they'd have kept using it.

Anyway, The Conjuring is a scary good time (ugh, that was painful) and earns a solid 4/5 stars.

If you're looking for a good movie to scare the living shit out of you and/or a date, look no further than The Conjuring and until next time, first clap...

Pacific Rim is a new Sci-Fi film from director Guillermo del Toro and stars Charlie Hunnam as Raleigh Becket, Rinko Kikuchi as Mako Mori and Idris Elba as Colonel Stacker Pentecost.

We start off with brothers Raleigh and Yancy Becket suiting up to get in their Jaeger (The Gypsy Danger), which is a big ass mech that two people control to fight against an the alien Kaiju. On their way out to sea they come across a fishing boat that they feel they must help, even against orders. As they help out the boat they are attacked by a Kaiju. In the fight the Kaiju rips one of the Jaeger's arms and a piece of its helmet, grabbing Yancy and pulling him to his doom, Raleigh manages to kill the monster and get back to shore, even though he's by himself. Flash-forward 7 years to Raleigh helping build a supposed Kaiju-proof wall, which proves to be as useful as trying to cure cancer with happy thoughts. He ends up getting recruited back into the Jaeger program to pilot the Gypsy Danger with a new partner for the fate of Earth.

When I first saw the trailer for this movie my first thought was "Oh great, a Transformers knock-off". However, I was terribly wrong. This is a great movie. The characters were cool the story was cool and the action was awesome. Our main hero, Raleigh was good, nothing too special but still a guy you want to root for. Mako was a great character, and I liked her backstory and connection to Col. Stacker. Speaking of which, Col. Stacker is a badass. The story was interesting, a hole has opened up in the Pacific Ocean and these giant monsters are coming through and our only hope is these huge mechs. Don't worry the story goes deeper than that, giving more depth to the Kaiju and showing the real dangers of using the Jaegers. Finally the action of the movie is awesome. The fights are on such a huge scale, especially when you see just how big these things are. Punches are flying, buildings are falling, people are dying and yet, I think Man of Steel still had more destruction.

Is it perfect? No, of course not. But the gripes are just minor things, nothing movie breaking. Like how NOTHING should survive an underwater nuke, then again, science-FICTION.

Anyway, Pacific Rim earns 4.25/5 stars