Lost Soul

They’ll break your heart to pieces, then call you heartless.

When I say I’m hard to love you won’t believe me. You’ll think they are self-deprecating words and merely a misunderstanding. That maybe I just don’t value myself enough. But that’s because when I say I’m hard to love I am not describing anything explosive. I do not mean that I will be screaming through my lungs or wielding weapons with my words. Rather, I will be patient and kind and lead you to believe in things that do not exist.   Because when I say I’m hard to love I mean that I am a mirage. You will mistakenly think it only takes time for me to become something more. But no matter how hard you try you will not find what you are looking for.

… I wonder if I will ever find a language to speak of the things that haunt me the most.

For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you.