every single fucking thing on earth exists solely to put a dent in your newly applied nail polish

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i don't do bad sauce passes

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we're not kids anymore.
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@drpeanutbutter
every single fucking thing on earth exists solely to put a dent in your newly applied nail polish

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Jason Statham also now uses bees to heal his wounds.
Well played, Beverly.

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Stop delaying joy until life looks a certain way. You're allowed to be happy while you're figuring things out.
Activist sister: I’m concerned about American free speech being threatened.
Little brother: What do you mean? We still have free speech. I can say penis balls right now.
Help I’m hearing it in their voices now
have you guys seen gas prices right now. jesus. its a good day to be able to shoot ropes from your wrists and swing around to places using those ropes like tarzan
Women being described as handsome >>>>>>>>>>>>
TARGET AUDIENCE REACHED
shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode
Thank you everyone for another great turnout to the january-february mass depressive episode

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how come you only become aware of how tipsy you are in bathrooms
this is how i imagine twitter In my head
In 2026, Ilia Malinin made headlines for landing a backflip at the Winter Olympics after the move was officially re-approved under updated competition rules.
But this moment did not come out of nowhere.
In 1998, Black Olympic skater Surya Bonaly executed a one-foot backflip at the Nagano Winter Olympics, officials had deemed the move unacceptable at the time. She completed it, on one blade, in an iconic defiance of standards that repeatedly limited her innovation and expression.
What governing bodies labeled as “not allowed” in 1998 is now celebrated as history-making in 2026.
Bonaly’s backflip wasn’t a mistake or a gimmick. It was skill, athleticism, and vision, long before the sport was willing to reward it. And while rules may change, her contribution should not be erased or reframed as an afterthought.
This moment isn’t about taking anything away from today’s athletes.
While Ilia Malinin is being credited with making Olympic history in 2026, the truth is that Surya Bonaly made that history in 1998.
Her one-foot backflip was revolutionary then, and it remains iconic now.
one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it
this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.
unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.
she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.
^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act

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siphonophores will never not freak me out. stop doing that its SCARY but also please don't ever stop doing that you ethereal marine cryptid
the red shape is a person of average height. the green line is one of these freaks. btw
Ya'll forgot my favourite one
That's an angel
Siphonophores are colonial btw!!! What you're seeing is a collection of independent animals that adhere to each other in these strands
These are beautiful. They resemble something from Rain World, which is great.
These are beautiful.
They resemble something from
Rain World, which is great.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
every time I'm too scared to pull the trigger on a bluesky post, I know I can post it here. you all get me.