Trash King~

i discovered i have a packet of gold glitter!!!!!

how do you clean glitter off a keyboard im asking for a friend

MY FUCKIN HEART

I WISH YALL WOULD STOP POSTING THIS SAD POKÉMON SHIT I CANT TAKE ANYMORE

fuck

successfully profiled and found a lost cat thanks to a criminal minds binge someone tell the FBI to hire me

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit

This sounds like it was written by a powerful being that is trapped in a human vessel and keeps having their plans thwarted by bathroom breaks. 

You know too much.

me, 80 years old with osteoporosis: I’M WEAK 😂😂

me, 80 years old when someone takes away my oxygen mask:  I CANT BREATHE  😂😂😂😂😂

me, 80 years old and blind when a stranger helps me across the street and i want to thank them: WHO DID THIS 😂😂😂😂

Me, 80 years old and I’ve walked for more then five minutes: IM WHEEZING 😂😂😂😂

This has me genuinely fuckin losing it