gentle heart

❛ i didn’t know where else to go. ❜

❛ i’ll never be that me again. ❜

❛ you can still be good. ❜

❛ i thought you’d be here. ❜

❛ don’t act like you know me. ❜

❛ because i care about you, okay? ❜

❛ it wasn’t supposed to end like this. ❜

❛ i was scared. i thought you had lost your way. ❜

❛ am i supposed to just let you go? ❜

❛ you deserve better than me. ❜

❛ don’t make me do this. ❜

❛ i’m not who you think i am. ❜

❛ you don’t mean that. ❜

❛ please just hold me. ❜

❛ i don’t want to understand, i want you to stay. ❜

❛ and why should i care? ❜

❛ you look awful. ❜

❛ i can’t do this without you. ❜

❛ don’t let me lose you too. ❜

❛ for what it’s worth, i really am sorry. ❜

❛ it’s not your fault. ❜

❛ i don’t know who i am anymore. ❜

❛ is this the part where you kick me out? ❜

❛ don’t we deserve to be happy? ❜

❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

❛ you can’t save everyone. ❜

❛ it was a nightmare, that’s all. ❜

❛ it’s just a scratch, don’t worry. ❜

❛ you know me better than i know myself. ❜

❛ don’t go where i can’t follow. ❜

❛ you’re better off without me. ❜

❛ we all die alone. ❜

❛ people get hurt if they get too close to me. ❜

❛ i hate what i’ve become. ❜

❛ i’m not going anywhere. ❜

❛ is there anything i can do to help? ❜

❛ i don’t even recognize you anymore. ❜

❛ who did this to you? ❜

❛ please don’t leave me. ❜

❛ oh, now you care? ❜

❛ don’t come any closer! ❜

❛ i missed you so much. ❜

❛ you don’t have to say anything. ❜

❛ do you want me to leave? ❜

❛ why are you avoiding me? ❜

❛ you could have died, you know. ❜

❛ i wish you were here. ❜

❛ you’re not alone. i’m staying right here. ❜

❛ i can be your family. ❜

❛ of course i’m here. where else would i be? ❜

❛ we just can’t seem to get it right, huh? ❜

❛ don’t look at me like that. ❜

❛ don’t push me away again. ❜

❛ this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. ❜

❛ you’re leaving already? ❜

❛ this was a mistake. ❜

When it came to matters of the family, there was little that Andromeda wouldn’t do for those she loved. Family had always held a fickle place in her heart. Blood was never the strongest of bonds; unfortunately she learnt that the hard way. But those that still shared ties who possessed more liberal idea of what their world should be; were always welcome. That such as Alice. 

Out of necessity; over the years Andromeda had gained a skill for protection charms. Barriers to protect those she loved from the family that wished to ruin her gained happiness. Sight barriers were an easy accomplishment with practice; however noise and smell were particularly challenging. To which she had offered to help enchant around the Longbottom’s home. Knowing that if anything it could ease nerve, especially with young children and how vocal they could be. Muttering the incantation around the home, Andromeda paused in her words only as she heard Alice return outside. Her hands till raised to hold the spell in place. Andromeda assured: “It’s complex- but with practise I’m sure you would be able to learn. You’re both talented sorcerers, I have no doubt it’s a skill you can aquire.”

Alice would do anything and everything to protect the ones she loved. Her little family needed her protection more than ever. Even more so, with Alice thinking of changing her allegiance. It was dangerous. Especially when she was considering moving against Dumbledore. She’d thought things were dangerous when she’d been fighting the death eaters. But more and more Dumbledore was showing that he might be even more of a danger. Then there had been inviting Narcissa into her home. And so, Alice had figured it might be time to expand some of their protection charms. She didn’t want to cause anymore pressure on her husband, not with Dumbledore already having poked around in his mind. Alice had, in this case, decided to confide in her favourite cousin, and ask her a favour.

“I don’t know about that….” She murmured, leaning against the front door frame as she watched her cousin word. “My magic ability hasn’t really been the same since Bellatrix attack me.” She admitted, biting on her lip as she thought back to that night at St. Mungo’s and what the healers had told her. “The healers have said it might not ever be the same.” Which sucked. She wanted to be able to protect her family, and felt a little useless that she was struggling to do so. “It’s the reason I’ve not gone back to work. I won’t ever work as an auror again.”

“Oh Alice I-” Andromeda spoke, her expression falling deeply as her eyes sunk with worry.  Of course she’d been prevy to hear the atrosotys her sister had committed to many; still it never eased the ache to hear it being parted from someone’s lips. Above all Alice’s “Please forgive me- I was not aware my sister’s actions had caused you such misfortune as to affect your magic as well as the torment that she cause both yourself and Frank.” Andromeda spoke, apparent concern laced in her voice as with a swift flick of her wand she’d finished the spell and was able to bring her full attention back to Alice. “I’m not prevy to your medical records as a family member; but if you desire I could ask Maren to enquirer about them on my behave to see if there is anything that could be of use to you? It is very much the least that I can do.”

Who: @tedsxtonks​

Mere weeks had felt like decades. With the wealth tax bittering high society laced with the missing wands from the ministry; leaving Dora with out one of her parents present at any given moment felt out of the question. Andromeda had offered to work nights. Assuring the night air would do her some good and that the patients at Mungos would have a gracious relief of not catching a glimpse of their tormentors family passing in the halls. It felt like they’d barely had a second to breath again let alone to spend any of that time with Ted or as a three. 

The suggestion to get away had been well welcomed. All be it very surreal to be back in the place where they’d once sought refuse; even if it was just for a short break. It felt- calming. As if even for a moment a memory of their past selves could some how be their reality. Even if the dreams they’d shared when they were once here of the life they’d lead when their daughter was born turned into a more bitter reality than either of them could have known. 

“She’s asleep-” The witch spoke as she turned her head to glance over at Edward as he came through the door; setting the ear monitoring their daughter carefully on the table before going back to straightening her bed sheets on the couch. The sun had barely just set; but it had been a long journey especially for a four year old; but with it just the two of them still awake Andromeda’s might couldn’t help but wander to the past. “Strange, isn’t it? Being back here-” The witch mused as she glanced briefly around the cottage before pulling her eyes over to him. “It feels more like a dream than our once reality..do you not think?”

Walking back through the doors to this place was a weird experience to Ted. It felt like it had been both a different life and also no time at all since they had been here. It was hard to look around without being hit with flashbacks of memories. The armchair in the corner where they would snuggle up at night when it got cold- sometimes Ted would read to Dromeda, watch as she would doze off, wrapped up and cozy in his arms.  Ted sighed quietly- it was like that version of him was an entirely different person. He was just an outlier, watching some kind of movie. He knew it was real that, he’d experienced that, they’d experienced that. And they would again- it was just going to take work and patience. A lot of patience- but at least there was some hope.

He frowned as he saw Dromeda setting up the couch as a bed. It made sense he supposed, they didn’t currently share a bed at home, but once again it just felt like more distance between them, especially here. “Yeah, i agree- feels like it was different people- feels like a lifetime ago.” Ted missed it. It would be so much easier just to stay here and never go back, but he knew it wasn’t right. “You know you don’t have to sleep on the couch right?” Ted ran a hand through his hair- a regular sign that he was nervous “I mean- i’m not saying we have to share the bed- I get that’s probably too much, too soon- but I can take the couch if you want.” Ted was by all means too tall for it, but he didn’t care, he’d rather she was comfortable. With all the changes lately she deserved a good nights sleep.

Andromeda nodded silently in agreement as she straightened out the blanket at the bottom of the bed before pulling her eyes around the open space; arms looping loosely around herself as if that could bring comfort to the memories that felt raw but simultaneously like a dazed dream. “..Truthfully- I often wish we’d never left at all.” The witch admitted with a small sigh as she flickered her eyes over the room, tracing every piece as if it were a dear friend. “Grown older- watched Nyphadora grow up. I know that-.. I know it’s far from what she deserves; living in solitude-..” Words trailing off with a small shake of her head, the witch tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear before glancing back over at him. “Silly - I know - to dream of things gone past. I suppose I just like to imagine her content, playing in the sea as if life wasn’t something flickering with threat. Grown up in a muggle village-.. for us all merely to be blissfully ignorant in our happiness.” Just liked they’d always dreamed.

“It does-.. so much has changed yet everything here is exactly how I remember it. Even to the wind chimes and cracks in the paint. Atleast here we can hold comfort in it’s familiarity.” There would never be a day that passed that Andromeda didn’t hold this home in the warmth of her heart. She’d loved Edward before they’d come here; of course she had. But the way their love had grown within these safe walls nurturing them like blossom was something even she could not find the words for. She’d loved him before yes; but here he’d captured her heart completely and it had belonged to him ever since. 

“Oh really? Do you remember the last time you fell asleep on this couch Edward Tonks?” The witch questioned with a quirk of an eye brow and small smile at the memory. Memories of them finding out she was pregnant in the upstairs bathroom and the fear in both of their eyes. The tender squeezes of hands as they swore their love and that they’d figure it out no matter what. Him brushing the hair out of her face and uttering quite tales after she’d been ill for the fifth time that morning or after she’d smelt a can of tuna. The quite promises at night and the sung lullaby’s to a bump that held their hopes for a world that could one day be their own. Moments, fond memories, of a couple painfully in love and desperate to keep it. Brushing the blanket off gently, the witch took a seat on the bed with a small smile on her face as she looked over at him. A softness to her voice as she spoke: “You had stayed up filled with worry at the first sign of contractions and ended up asleep on the couch with your feet dangling off the end. You drove the neighbor's muggle transport to the hospital all but bent in half. As gracious of an offer that is, knowing our daughter and her affinity for pretending she’s a souring whistling duck, I can imagine you will need all your mobility to aid in her imagination come morning.”

                                  ||   you are  m a r v e l o u s                                                           the gods wait to delight in  y o u   ||

Regulus & @dromedax​ St. Mungo’s, smallest hospital room

Regulus wasn’t in the habit of frequenting St. Mungo’s. In fact, he tended to avoid it altogether with the exception of occasionally showing up on the days Andromeda worked as a way of checking in. It wasn’t something that frequently happened but things had hit a point where the receptionist knew to see if they were able to pull Andromeda to look him over instead of trying to reason with him about seeing one of the healers that wasn’t working in the back for the day.

"Sorry,” Regulus gave a sheepish smile when Andromeda entered the room. He had both arms elevated over his head with his right hand firmly keeping a bloodied cloth around his left index finger. “Knife slipped at work and it didn’t respond as well as it should have to the wound-healing draught I found in the supply closet. Not sure what-” He trailed off, silently searching for a way to get around the unspeakable aspect of the job. Upon finding none he gave another forced smile. “It didn’t respond to the usual routine of draughts, so I’m assuming something more potent is necessary. Unfortunately can’t explain past that.”

Regulus shook his head at his cousin’s words, unable to say much else about choices. It hadn’t been fair — not that anything involving taking over as the heir had been fair in the first place — and he had been too young and too nervous to find the courage to pull something similar to what Sirius had done.

“What good would that have done?” Regulus asked softly. He couldn’t look at her, needing a few deep breaths before he was able to say anything else. “They would have looked.” That fact alone was what left him avoiding considering Sirius as an option at the time. It was easiest to play the role of willing son over trying to turn to disowned family when there was no guarantee either of them would have welcomed him in.

He shouldn’t have said anything — least of all to Andromeda but bottling it up hadn’t done any good past putting him dangerously close to lashing out on Narcissa or Lucius. He pressed his tongue against his cheek and crossed his arms over his chest, struggling to find a way to phrase things without sounding like he was lying. “He started making horcruxes,” He exhaled after nearly two minutes of silence, gaze settling on Andromeda. “And I — He had inferi guarding the one Kreacher and I destroyed.” It sounded ridiculous now that he said it but that was better than risking losing the little bit of trust between him and Andromeda.

Andromeda’s eyes flickered over Regulus’s features as if trying to decipher a puzzle. As if trying to unravel her family’s true thoughts had become a game of wizard chess, but hadn’t it always been? There were the words that they spoke in public, ones they spoke to one another and then words they dare not speak at all. Silence due to the threat of disownment, worry and fear all rooted from the unfortunate rotting tree that was the Black family line. Andromeda didn’t even have to question his words because he was right. Of course he was. What good would it have done? They had already lost one son, they’d be damned to loose another. Let alone the only male air left of the Black bloodline. Knowing her family, they would have burned cities to the ground if needed to keep him if all but in arms reach.

Of anyone, Andromeda knew how cruel they could be. How judgemental, how consumed with their pride, vanity and legacy that they dare not whisper of the disappointments among their blood line. Merlin knew if Bellatrix or Narcissa even saw Regulus speaking to her like this the questions that would follow would be profound. She knew even being seen with her in public now was a risk, let alone speaking such truth with her. Andromeda didn’t say a word. Silent in her solace, the witch sat still with sadness etched across her features. Both from how wrong she had been and for the hardship he had suffered. His explanation, the way that he had been that fateful night; it fell into alignment. All that Andromeda could do was find herself reaching over and gently holding her hand over his and squeezing it gently. “Here I was speaking of quiet rebellion when you already were doing just that very thing.” The witch spoke quietly, holding his hand a little tighter as the other moved up to gently brush his cheek lightly. 

“You could have been killed-” She uttered barely, sadness deep in her eyes as she shook her head lightly before a deep heavy sigh fell off her lips. Andromeda couldn’t even begin to imagine the strength he must have gathered to be able to do such a thing. While her chest swealed with pride, it couldn’t help but be laced with fear of the knowledge she’d just gained.  Horcruxes. The words echoed in the back of her head like a nightmare. Andromeda had gathered something darker was at play from her late husband’s whispers, she couldn’t have imagined anything of this magnitude. Not if he had made more than one to safe guard his dark fate. While she had questions, more than she could express; here and now was not the place or the time. Instead she brushed her eye lightly and placed a small kiss to the side of his head before clearing her throat and standing. Brushing her dress off before going back to the potions. “It will only be a temporary illusion, one you’d have to take daily to mask it. Unfortunately magical tattooing is an art form I’m unfamiliar with, particularly those from-” Cutting herself off the witch frowned lightly as she gathered several bottles before joining his bed side. “Those laced with darker magic are more fickle and unfortunately are unreceptive to typical methods of removal. But these-..A beauty potion cream for evening complexion- this should cover the scaring for the most part. And this-” She paused setting another next to it before adding in a quieter tone. “To dull the effects of the dark magic laced with it. When I know more, I can alter the potion specifically to hopefully ease any effects it might have; but only take this if it aches, reacts, does- well.. I’m sure you’re aware. This-” She paused with a frown before setting it down as well. “If you have any side effects from-.. that night - take this and send me an owl immediately, do you understand? And this-.. for your hand.” 

It wasn’t long after the news broke that Ted and Andromeda returned home. Ted was stressed about Dora- wondering whether he should quickly grab her from his parent’s house or whether she would be safer where she was. Ted didn’t know if anyone had worked out where he and Dromeda lived. The frustration coursing through his body was evident in his body language. Ted knew it was too much of a coincidence for the breakout just to be someone random. Though they didn’t know for sure yet- and Ted would be making sure to use his Ministry contacts to find out for sure- he had to assume the worst. That Bellatrix was once again roaming free. Ted hated to admit how scared he was of her. He’d seen the look in her eyes the day that she’d tortured him. Her didn’t know what she’d do- would Dromeda being banished from the family be enough for her or would she come after them. More importantly would she come after Dora. Ted hoped the fact the Dora was a pure blood under the Black blood line that it would save her but he wasn’t sure. “I think Dora should stay with my parents for a few days until we get more information- nobody else knows where she is- it has to be safer than here” Ted’s voice sounded weird- distant. “are you-” no that would be a stupid question- of course she wasn’t okay “what can I do to help?”

‘The hate they hold- it won’t burn indefinitely’. Ted longed for the confidence to truly believe that. And she was right, no wonder what was happening right now, they had lost. Dumbledore and Good in general had won. He needed to hold on to that hope. It was hard feeling that for every step forward they took, they also took two steps backward. Ted had started this night wanting to focus on starting to truly progress their relationship again. Had it been stupid of him to let all this get in the way once again? But then how could they not. It was a constant worry. Could they just carry on their daily lives whilst also making plans for the worst. Was it the best way forward. He wanted that, but he wanted to keep them all safe too.

The way she said his name made his heart flutter, and the tightness in his chest eased a little. Dromeda’s suggestion took him by surprise- with how she’d been since they came back, the last thing he’d expected her to do was to say ‘fuck it all’ and take a risk. He was glad for it though, it was a reminder of what they were fighting for. What was really important. Ted knew he needed to do a better job at this- he could be worried about the breakout and still have quality time with the woman that he loved. It didn’t just have to be just one thing at a time, did it? It seemed such a simple thing, something that he should’ve figured out hours ago, but he had been overwhelmed with panic. He let his fingers gently intertwine with hers, just enjoying the feeling. Lingering in the calm that it brought him “yeah, okay, if you’re sure, that sounds great.”

Ted followed Dromeda outside, instantly wrapping his jacket around her shoulders as the cold air hit. He didn’t know how literal she had been but took hold of her hand again anyway, staying close to her. “I don’t know how we do all this with everything- but I want to do what you said- persist- endure the tides- all of it” he took a small breath before moving his hand in to her hair as he continued to speak “maybe we just keep fighting back- for every time they say we shouldn’t be together- maybe we just shove it more in their faces- maybe that’s the way forward.” it was scary- the consequences it could bring- but they were at risk whatever happened. “maybe instead of resorting to hiding like i’ve done so far- maybe i do something like this instead.” Ted’s heart leapt with nerves as he leaned forward, gently meeting her lips with his. It was light- he wasn’t fully sure if Dromeda was ready for this step so he didn’t linger- quickly pulling back to let her process it.

“I do not know either-” Andromeda admitted quietly, holding his hand a little tighter. “But what I do know- there is not a darkness I’d be unwilling to face if it meant I could stay by your side. Maybe we just need to remember what we have been fighting for-” It seemed such a fleeting statement. Because how could they ever forget? She loved him, there wasn’t a question in her mind about that. But remembering how it felt to simply hold him, love him; it wasn’t something either of them had held since before Dora was born. But before she could even form another thought her mind was completely on him. Her eyes flickered closed as his hand went into her hair, her head instinctively leaning into it as if that could some how make it last longer. As it some how after so long any touch between them set her heart flickering. For a second it felt like the world had stopped and her heart along with it. Tender touch and a brush of lips shouldn’t have caused the very world to pause in its entirety; but when it was him it did. It always did. How long had it been? A year? Even before then three even four years since they’d kissed? 

Instead of taking a step back like she would have done once upon a time if they even dared get too close to one another outside the walls of their own safe haven; Andromeda merely took a shaky breath before closing the distance between them again. Hand moving to the back of his neck as she leaned up to kiss him. But it wasn’t as gentle as he’d greeted her. Instead a kiss she’d been holding in her chest since the moment that they’d got separated. The ache of missing him, dreaming of his sunkissed cheeks and the way the stars had sparkled in his eyes as if they were the only ones that mattered in the whole world itself. The feeling as if he was the very thing giving her oxygen and light to ease the terrified wake in her chest. Of everything that she wished she’d said, everything that she could never say and all the time they’d lost when all she’d ever wanted was this. Them, just them. Nothing more and nothing less. She melted within an instant. Shoulders that had been aching with worry fell and left simply was the whole reason why they were so afraid to begin with. Because the love they held for each other was too world changing to ever let slip through their grasp. A fickle tale of star crossed love, defying everything no matter the odds; that was their story. Shining in adversity, not quivering in darkness. Both could live in balance to protect the other, but for too long the darkness had felt all consuming. But now with his lips on her and warmth burning in her chest, it was as if her light has flickered back on in Andromeda's heart. 

Though it wasn’t till a distance whistle from teasing teenagers who meant no harm came in their direction did it pull her back into reality. Breaking their kiss the witch pulled her eyes instinctively in the direction only to see they were harmless and moving away as quickly as they came. A small sigh falling off her lips, the witch traced a small circle with her thumb on the back of his hand; her nose brushing lightly against his before she pressed a small kiss to the edge of her lips. “Do you-” Andromeda paused pulling away only slightly just so she could look over his features. “Do want to go back inside for some- privacy?”

Regulus & @dromedax​ St. Mungo’s, smallest hospital room

Regulus wasn’t in the habit of frequenting St. Mungo’s. In fact, he tended to avoid it altogether with the exception of occasionally showing up on the days Andromeda worked as a way of checking in. It wasn’t something that frequently happened but things had hit a point where the receptionist knew to see if they were able to pull Andromeda to look him over instead of trying to reason with him about seeing one of the healers that wasn’t working in the back for the day.

"Sorry,” Regulus gave a sheepish smile when Andromeda entered the room. He had both arms elevated over his head with his right hand firmly keeping a bloodied cloth around his left index finger. “Knife slipped at work and it didn’t respond as well as it should have to the wound-healing draught I found in the supply closet. Not sure what-” He trailed off, silently searching for a way to get around the unspeakable aspect of the job. Upon finding none he gave another forced smile. “It didn’t respond to the usual routine of draughts, so I’m assuming something more potent is necessary. Unfortunately can’t explain past that.”

Sirius’ leaving without a warning had been unforgivable for a time — throwing him from the shadows into the spotlight without so much as a second glance back. The little bit of preparation his parents had given were nothing in comparison to the near endless stream of information that accompanied being thrust into the role of the family’s heir. “I am not certain it does,” He admitted with a chuckle. “Suppose it’s just… There aren’t many options for… that don’t involve — you know.”

Regulus shrunk into himself upon catching Andromeda’s gaze. The similarities between her and Bellatrix were always quite striking but the narrowed eyed look left him hoping the wall would open up and swallow him whole instead of facing whatever came next. It came as a relief to not be chastised but he still couldn’t bring himself to meeting her gaze. There was a moment of silence spent thinking over his words before he shifted his eyes, allowing the wary expression to fully take over his features instead of trying to mask it. “They didn’t give me a choice on the matter,” The words came out in a whisper. If there was one thing he wouldn’t forgive either parent for, it was their forcing him into taking the mark without so much as asking his opinion on it. Not that he would have had much of a choice as it was given the fact that he was focused on the family he had left. Being asked or having a warning would have been appreciated instead of being blindly thrown into the cause before he finished his schooling.

“That afternoon I showed up near dead…” He kept his voice low since the words shouldn’t have been spoken in the first place. “It would have warranted disownment or worse if the war didn’t end the way it did.”

“Everybody has a choice. Even if the options are few and the weight often too heavy of a burden to bear; with family like ours...” Cutting herself off with a saddened expression, the witch pulled her eyes back to the potion bottles with pursed lips and a single shake of her head before adding. “It’s often the quietest acts of rebellion that shine light in the darkest of places. Even if it takes all your will to try.” Of course Andromeda knew the lengths their family would go to. Though while being a daughter of three, Dromeda could only imagine the crippling grip that the name and his parents help. Especially after Sirius’ disownement. A fact that was almost instantly confirmed with his whispered words. 

‘They didn’t give me a choice’, simple words yet they sent an shiver of anger up Andromeda's spine. Bitterness, hurt, their family was never what any of them needed. Love, kindness were foreign concepts in the manor halls. ‘Wizarding royalty’, you should be grateful to be graced with Merlin’s gift of being apart of the noblest house within the United Kingdom. Yet it had never felt like a blessing, but a curse. One that evidently Regulus knew all too well, as did she. “You could have come to me-..” Was all she managed to say, a sadness edged onto her kind features as she set herself straightening the potions bottles for something to do with her hands. Yet still, she couldn’t help but edge of the side of caution. Especially when it came to her family. What if after all this time, this was just a way of her sisters snaking their way back into her life to only cause more harm? 

“You never told me why. What happened that night Regulus?” The witch whispered. Hoping for more than fleeting whit but answers to the question that has always held her deep concern. “If you wish me to hold faith in your word against-” Her eyes flickered briefly to his arm before insisting. “Tell me Regulus.”

It wasn’t long after the news broke that Ted and Andromeda returned home. Ted was stressed about Dora- wondering whether he should quickly grab her from his parent’s house or whether she would be safer where she was. Ted didn’t know if anyone had worked out where he and Dromeda lived. The frustration coursing through his body was evident in his body language. Ted knew it was too much of a coincidence for the breakout just to be someone random. Though they didn’t know for sure yet- and Ted would be making sure to use his Ministry contacts to find out for sure- he had to assume the worst. That Bellatrix was once again roaming free. Ted hated to admit how scared he was of her. He’d seen the look in her eyes the day that she’d tortured him. Her didn’t know what she’d do- would Dromeda being banished from the family be enough for her or would she come after them. More importantly would she come after Dora. Ted hoped the fact the Dora was a pure blood under the Black blood line that it would save her but he wasn’t sure. “I think Dora should stay with my parents for a few days until we get more information- nobody else knows where she is- it has to be safer than here” Ted’s voice sounded weird- distant. “are you-” no that would be a stupid question- of course she wasn’t okay “what can I do to help?”

Ted was relieved to see that she had at least put her wand down but the tears that felt down her cheeks made him feel immediately guilty. He knew this whole situation wasn’t on him, he knew it was society that was the probably. It was the fucked up traditions by people who refuses to change because the world benefit them as is. But it didn’t the guilt, the feeling that her constant choice to be with him was causing her misery. It was like being between a rock and a hard place. She wouldn’t be any happier going back to her pureblood life, he was sure of that. God, he just wanted to be able to make her feel better. He wanted to make the world see sense. He only wanted to be free to love the girl who had completely taken over his heart. It shouldn’t be this hard.

Ted didn’t disagree with Dromeda’s statement but it was much easier to say it and be the one making the sacrifices than to hear it from someone you loved. It still didn’t make what she went through any better. It wasn’t okay that she had to become a ghost of herself to save his life. He smiled softly at her reassurance, though he didn’t reply. Nothing she could say would make him feel any less responsible for that situation. He should’ve been more careful in the first place, he’d just wanted to walk down the street hand in hand with him. If he’d used his head more instead of his heart maybe they wouldn’t have got caught in the first place. Would they most likely have gone back in to hiding? Probably, but it would’ve been so much better than having their family ripped apart. Having to show Dora pictures of her mother, instead of having her there in person.

This time her words did flood him with relief. It was had to rid himself of the thought that she might want to leave for a less complicated life. Hearing her say out loud that she wanted to be here despite it all, meant the world to him. He listening to her continue, not wanting to interrupt her. His heart glowing brighter for every second that she spoke and he could feel himself starting to well up now. Though he was ecstatic to be living with her again, these last few months had been hard and they hadn’t really talked like this yet. It hadn’t really hit him until now, just how lonely he had been over the passed few years. “I feel the same about this evening- I’d hoped that with the lack of a leader now they might back off more- go back to whisper about us in secret but leave us be- I wanted that more than I could ever explain. I hate having to think before I do something as simple as holding your hand in public- it isn’t foolish to hope for normality- I wish it didn’t seem as impossible as it does right now.” A soft expression appeared on his face at Dromeda’s question “No- not at all- it would be easier, I think we both know that’s true- and if it was just me and you, i wouldn’t think twice about going back to hiding- but Dora- I don’t want her to have to live like that- to not experience the good side of this world. And well part of me doesn’t want to hide away anymore- we deserve to be in the place we love with the people we love- whatever they believe we haven’t done anything wrong- one day i’d just like to sit in a pub with our friends laughing and drinking.” To have people understand the love between them- see what they were fighting so hard for an truly accept it, that was the dream.

Andromeda was typically a glass half empty kind of person. More a realistic dreamer than one who could undo the bounds of reality with the whim of their whit; having spend so much of her time seeing life as a game of chess with calucated moves if only in order to survive; seeing an end to their challenging existence was one that she could have only dreamed of when night fell. A glimmer of hope that shined despite everything for a longing heart that begged for a simple content existence. To simply love and be loved without the threat of violence daring to ruin them. A cursed thing for a member of the Black family to wish for, but at times; Andromeda wished they could simply slip from the magical world in its entirety. To let Dora grow up in the muggle world, to find a home that they could grow old in and wish for nothing more; to simply disappear and leave everything else behind them. But even that thought was simply part of her fickle dreams that only the stars knew of.

But hearing Edward who was the one usually holding onto light, exclaim it felt impossible had her shoulders sinking slightly. One that her stubbornness couldn't help but slip. If she had to try and hold them up despite everything, she would. There was nothing Andromeda Black wouldn't do for Edward Tonks. She wanted to claim that those who escaped would be captured in due time. That one day they could find peace, however temporary it may be. But not even she could see the fate that could befall them. It was pointless to dwell on uncertainities when everything seemed so turbulent. Instead, despite herself, the witch brushed the small stain left from tears off her cheek as she tried to steady her breath. Hoping it could somehow be enough to ease him. “I know..” She spoke softly, as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I long for it too. Normality, simplicity, to merely-.. live. I wish for it too.” There had never been a day since she’d met him that she hadn’t begged Merlin for it. “The hate they hold-.. it won’t burn infinitely. I know it’s challenging to hold hope in words, but they still fell; Dumbledore however fickle of a man he may be, the belief in those that followed him hold value. All be it agonizingly slow, the world is changing. We merely have to purist and endure its tides."

"Edward-" Andromeda spoke a softness to her tone despite her features tugging with the edge of concern as she hesitated for a brief before adding. “Im aware it's far from perfect but even a mere few months this was but a dream. I'm grateful to be in the same vicinity as you let alone with the ability to hold you. It may not be as public as public as we desire, but I’ll gladly shake our intertwined fingers at passers by in the garden as an act of defiance if you so wish. Even if it's only the stars keeping us in good fortune. Besides.. the fresh air could do us both good.” The witch spoke, pausing before offering her hand across the table to him. “Join me, won't you?”

Romantic Quotes:

“I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.”

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

“I need you like a heart needs a beat.”

“I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had.”

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.”

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”

“I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one… you never give up.”

“I wasn’t expecting you. I didn’t think that we would end up together. The single most extraordinary thing I’ve ever done with my life is fall in love with you. I’ve never been seen so completely, loved so passionately and protected so fiercely.”

“I’ve tried so many times to think of a new way to say it, and it’s still I love you.”

“I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”

“My soul and your soul are forever tangled.”

“Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and all your stress will melt away.”

“I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.”

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It wasn’t long after the news broke that Ted and Andromeda returned home. Ted was stressed about Dora- wondering whether he should quickly grab her from his parent’s house or whether she would be safer where she was. Ted didn’t know if anyone had worked out where he and Dromeda lived. The frustration coursing through his body was evident in his body language. Ted knew it was too much of a coincidence for the breakout just to be someone random. Though they didn’t know for sure yet- and Ted would be making sure to use his Ministry contacts to find out for sure- he had to assume the worst. That Bellatrix was once again roaming free. Ted hated to admit how scared he was of her. He’d seen the look in her eyes the day that she’d tortured him. Her didn’t know what she’d do- would Dromeda being banished from the family be enough for her or would she come after them. More importantly would she come after Dora. Ted hoped the fact the Dora was a pure blood under the Black blood line that it would save her but he wasn’t sure. “I think Dora should stay with my parents for a few days until we get more information- nobody else knows where she is- it has to be safer than here” Ted’s voice sounded weird- distant. “are you-” no that would be a stupid question- of course she wasn’t okay “what can I do to help?”

Once again, Ted was at a place were he felt helpless. It was a feeling he was completely sick of at this point. He had spent so many of the last few years feeling useless. What could he really do to help? Nothing. He couldn’t ease Andromeda’s concerns. He couldn’t promise her it would all work out. For all he knew there were already plans in place to destroy their little family. Andromeda was more talented than he was, so she could probably protect herself ten times better than he could. Hearing her talk about Bellatrix was a shot straight to the heart. The panic and worry in her voice and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Ted didn’t even particularly care about himself right now- he didn’t care that he was safe from Bellatrix- none of it mattered without her and Dora. He’d trade his life for his daughter’s in heartbeat. He wished that it was Dora who had the protection and not him. At least that would mean something, would be of some help to them right now. It felt wasted on him. He was protected but he couldn’t even protect his own family. He also hated that Dromeda was putting all the pressure on herself. Like it was all her fault. Ted really didn’t know what to say to calm her down. He needed to be able to actually do something.

“Dromeda” the sadness evident in Ted’s voice “it’s not your fault- what you did for me- everything you risked, I don’t think i’ll ever be able to make that up to you. and as far as Dora is concerned you don’t know what they would have done- we’ll make sure she’s safe, i know we will- they can’t get to her right now- if it’s the last thing that i do i’ll make sure she’s safe- you don’t have to work this all out alone, we will find a way to ensure her safety.” He didn’t know how or even where to start but he was damn sure going to find a way. No matter the cost. Ted didn’t really want to think about the idea of having separate from Andromeda again, but if that’s what he had to do again to keep his family safe, he’d do it. He just really hoped that he could find a different option, a way for them to stay together.

Dromeda’s request confused him at first until it clicked what she meant. It seemed ridiculous that they were here- a bag of clothes packed- ready to run. But she was right, it had to be done. They had to face reality and be ready for the worst case scenario. His face fell even further. “I..I don’t want to separate- unless that’s what you want?” Ted wasn’t sure. He would understand if she wanted to. She would be safer without him- there was no doubt about that but he really didn’t want to think about that. The fact she thought he was only here out of some sort of obligation broke his heart a little. He thought he’d been clear in how he felt, but obviously he hadn’t even been successful at that. “It’s not an obligation for me- it never could just be that. Me, you, Dora all together it’s all i’ve ever wanted.” Ted wanted to argue that surely she must know that- but he didn’t want to make her feel any worse. She was just trying to look out for him after all. “I’m not the only one suffering in this situation either- it’s as hard for you as it is me and god I know it’s a mess but i’d choose the mess every time over a life without you.”

For the first time all night, Andromeda lowered her wand and placed it delicately back on the table, her features sunken with an edge of sadness and for the first time since the announcement was made her shoulders lowered. Despite herself, there had always been something about Edward Tonks that had her loosing her inhibitions. Though taught to keep everything hidden in a vault in her chest, tightly round to present as picturesque nobility, there had always been something about him that left her strings unraveling and anxiety easing. She’d been too busy trying to fix everything to really sit with the emotions that was con-caving her chest that when she finally stopped, the shock of the situation hit like a tidal way. Leaving tears that prickled the edge of her eyes threatening to fall down her pale cheeks. For the fear of the inevitable, for the grief of loosing their hoped happiness and for time that now seemed fleeting. 

Her heart ached from the sadness laced in his tone. All she wanted to do in that moment was to take a step forward, to lace her hand with his and offer comfort. To place her lips to his shoulder before resting her head there as if a tender touch could remind them both of why they’d done all of this in the first place. Why time after time they fell together like atoms who despite themselves always found one another. But even then, she wanted it to be on his terms. When he was ready, the last thing she wanted was to make him feel pressured. His simple company was enough comfort for her after years of longing just to hear his voice again. “It’s what you do for the people you love.” Andromeda spoke as if it were as simple as breathing. “You have nothing and will never have anything in which you need to balance the scales for; never to me.” We. A concept that in truth she was still finding herself becoming accustomed to again. So used to trying to safeguard them from afar, now that they were together; he was right, they didn’t have to fight alone anymore. “I know we will..” She spoke quietly with a small nod as a small sigh of relief fell off her lips. Safer in the knowledge that despite the odds, atleast they weren’t alone anymore. Atleast they’d have one another. 

“It’s not what I want..it never would be.” Andromeda spoke quietly with a small shake of her head, her fingers wrapping loosely around the edge of a chair as she looked across the table at him. “If I left I’d be leaving my heart behind with it. I don’t-.. I’m not loosing you again for as long as I can help it. I just want to keep you safe- to keep her safe- you’re both-” The witch paused, brushing away the small tear that had manage to slip through the edge of her lashes before continuing. “I’d capture the stars if I could. All I desire at any moment is simply for you both to be safe. I simply hoped that tonight-.. truthfully I’d hoped it could be the beginning of - as foolish as its deemed to say it now -, a happiness of sort. I’d have taken a day-.. even an hour of prolonged contentment that was free from drawing our wands at any ill-formed shadow.” Self preservation, something that general as a trait Andromeda held in bounds. While argued it was a typical trait for slytherins to posses, few bore the burden she’d carried through life. Andromeda had learned to play life as if it were a game of wizards chess. Learning when to speak, when to slip plans into actions; all in an effort of one thing; to simply stay alive and to one day be free. Something that even now outside of her family home walls, felt as helpless as light on an eclipse. “Is it so terrible of me, that sometimes I wish we were back in hiding? To just watch Dora grow up and simply live as if normality could ever be our reality.”