Show cock... NOW!!! *my eyes glow a blazing white and my telekinesis knocks all of the furniture in the room into the walls and crumbles them and shatters the windows*

my urine is always, always crystal clear. like a mountain spring. can you say the same?

No i piss like im spraying fermented brown mustard outta my cunt

goodness gracious

Yeah uhh can i get a mcfunny with a side of gigglies...yeah with the teeheesauce

in the club gettign a drink would anybody else like a drink

in the club spilling my drink on you by accidnet srry

in the club going soggy mode

when i was in middle school Rude by bruno mars came on the radio in the car with my mom and at the chorus it goes “why you gotta be so rude, don’t you know i’m human too, i’m gonna marry ya anyway” and my mom now had her Disapproving Aura on and sighed and said. see this is why [my divorced uncle] married [his mean ex-wife]. what a sad way of loving. and 13yo me was like Oh Damn That Deep. and mentally filed away the lesson Popular Music Promotes Toxic Behavior Therefore Don’t Marry Someone Who’s Mean To You. and ever since then rude by bruno mars has made me just a little bit sad. cut to 5+ years later the song is no longer popular. i happen to hear it over the tinny speakers in a random fast food place. all at once i realize the lyrics are not, in fact, about marrying a girl despite her hating you (gonna marry ya anyway), but marrying a girl despite her parents hating you (gonna marry her anyway). 13yo me and my mom misheard the same lyric and never paid attention to the rest of the song. i am flabbergasted. one of the pillars of my childhood development has just crumbled in a Subway. i am frantically realigning my entire internal ethics system. the cashier still wants to know if i’m getting a cookie. nothing is real

we moan about how we're reblogging memes about being an adult or with adult themes (not in a sexual way in this case) and how it means we're all getting old, but isnt it great that despite everything we still find fun and humor in our adult lives?