let them be them, let us be us

other than that, nothing too exciting going on! my sister is visiting until the 30th. she's here for a concert and i'm so excited for to enjoy herself. she's been in a mental slump lately with the difficulty to secure a job. i get it, i think. i was unemployed for three months and this shit did wreck me more than i though. i think she also has like this internal pressure bc she's the big sister and she wants to be a good role model. but i'm always going to be inspired by her. i just want her to be happy. she's done so much for my family. she deserves it you know?

i think i've gotten used to work! i'm a little more comfortable and received a few shout outs on my work ethic which i appreciate.

i recently started a new job and i don't know what i'm doing. it's a senior position and while i have years of experience, i still feel like i'm having imposter syndrome. like i'll sit and stare during a break and just question myself like, "what am i doing here? how did i pull this off?" you know?

i think i'm trying my best, but a part of me knows i can do better. and i think it's the whole i used to be the big fish in a little pond and now i'm back to being a small fish in a bigger pond. it's tough and it's an adjustment. it's a tough adjustment. i'm used to getting things right from the jump, but i feel myself always getting critiqued and having my manager point out edits she had to make on my work.

idk maybe i'm psyching myself out. maybe i'm not. maybe it's just growing pains and learning curves until i get to where i feel comfortable. i know i said i found my old job boring bc there wasn't any challenge, but sometimes i miss it.

we'll see, we'll see, we'll see....

i haven't had a tumblr in quite a while, but i think i needed a space to let my thoughts run free and also have a space where i can shamelessly share bangtan and seventeen stuff?