libera me from h*ck

Woman reclining seductively on a bed. The door swings open. The Grim Reaper walks in.

Woman gives the Reaper a husky look. “So,” she drawls. “Death has finally come for me.”

$20 I’ll send you a signed A4 sheet of paper sliced in half by the ultimate sword

$50 I’ll slice up whatever documents you want with the ultimate sword

$100 I’ll slice whatever object you want in half with a single clean cut. this thing can cut through solid steel like it’s butter.

$200 I will spend half an hour slicing up whatever you want like I’m Raiden in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

$500 You get The Ultimate Steak Knives, which I developed as a prototype

$1000 LIMITED OFFER! I will kill one of your enemies. No questions asked. [0/20 remaining]