a return from gloaming

can’t believe shits working out this way. ridiculous and silly. but also The Narrative… yanderes don’t worry the universe will apparently bend itself around you to give you what you want

my friends encouraging me is killing me. ONE LIKE AND I EXECUTE MY MASTER PLAN SATURDAY

i keep self sabotaging with this but im gonna try fr this weekend

why isn’t he responding like he used to why why why why why

i just want him to text me i just want to know he thinks of me i love him so much and it aches it really does. is it fucked up that i dont want to kill myself because then im sure he’d forget me

can’t lie the obsession mental illness part is over but i’m lowk still in love with him. like i just want to be in his life forever and i care about him so much. it stings, weirdly, knowing he has people he’s closer to even though we haven’t known each other that long. but in a weird way too i do believe we’re going to fall in love

this shit is genuinely ruining my relationships. i’m hurting my friendships all for him. i can’t control it i want it to stop i don’t want it to end i love him it hurts really really bad

incredible how all my plans on him are narratively sanctioned. the plot deadass wills this so

ehehehehehe i was wrongggggg and this is so workable and i have a huge chance. he’s mine and he doesn’t know it and i love him and he loves me and i don’t care what stands in my way cause i make things happen no matter whattttt

i get so happy and delusional with nothing to back it up and then i remember he has other people he’s closer too than me and i realize that i have to be so patient for this and i can tolerate it i swear i can but seeing them interact knowing they’re hanging out watching it all happen makes me sick sick sick sick. i wish he didn’t have anyone else i don’t care how selfish it is i hate watching them live in their own world i hate it so much whenever im staring at him he’s looking at them and it breaks me. i don’t know what to do anymore i need him i cant move on i cant tell him cause then he’ll reject me and i don’t care. it hurts but i can deal with it so long as i stay in his life forever

i want it to be my birthday already so he can wish me a happy birthday. it’s funny how far gone i am because i don’t even care about getting it from anyone else… literally everyone else could forget or ignore me but if he says it it’ll all be worth it. but noooooo i have to waittttttt

i miss himmmmm i wanna see himmmmm aughauahagaj i miss being able to see him every week i miss him so muchhh

today i’m thinking about how he smells and how badly i just wanna cuddle him and for him to hold me. it achessss it hurts i love him so much im blowing off schoolwork for him… after i spent some of the weekend at his my jacket smelled like him and i just sniffed it the whole day. i love i love i loveeeeee