Be Nice

TRIGGER WARNING FOR EXTREMELY SENSITIVE IMAGERY IN THE LINKS. 

In short, I am disgusted and will refrain from reblogging any content involving them; drg-aido is a racist, vile person, and I deeply apologize for supporting them this entire time. 

While I recognize some of the links were vague or perhaps I just didn’t understand what the message was, there are no words for drg-aido’s behavior. In response to being told they were racist for knowingly comparing a latnix person to Trump, drg-aido continued their insult. 

In response, drg-aido posted this. 

“Atrocities” it putting it lightly. Did your school skip over the Middle Passage or something, @drg-aido ? Did you think your joking and one-sentence post was apology enough for comparing the oppressed to their oppressors while resourcing once of the most disgusting and racist things to ever occur? 

Trying to prove you DON’T experience something is actually ridiculously hard especially when you are nowhere close to understanding what it is you’re trying to disprove.

It’s a lot like playing a game of Where’s Waldo, but you have no idea what Waldo looks like and you rely entirely on the partial description of him you get from other people.

Take this image, and find “Jeremy” in it:

At first you’re like, “Who tf is Jeremy? That’s a thing?”

And then from discrete descriptions you hear in the hallways, you find out Jeremy has a red shirt.

And so you point to everyone on that picture who has a red shirt like, “Hey hey, red, THIS could be him. Certainly one of these is him!”

But, alas, you’ve gotten it confused with someone similar, but not him at all. This happens when you mistake romantic attraction or aesthetic attraction for sexual attraction or, if you’re aro, platonic attraction for romantic attraction. You’ve misidentified him because he was wearing the same color shirt and looked somewhat like what others were talking about.

You go online and ask for more descriptions of Jeremy, and you may gleam a few details. People are like, “Oh no, Jeremy has stripes on his shirt, and a funky…I don’t know, over the shoulder scarf thingy. Look, it’s really hard to explain. Trust me, if you have seen Jeremy, you would KNOW him.” Which is like ??? confusing, although it is true.

If only you could prove Jeremy isn’t on your board you would know you’re ace//aro, but it’s hard to ever be 100% certain he isn’t there when you have no clue what he looks like.

Which is why it is important for aces//aros to just, forget about trying to be 100% certain and just identify anyways. That’s what helped me the most, knowing that I didn’t have to prove something, I could just assume, “Yeah, if I had felt sexual attraction, I would know. I don’t have to prove without a doubt I don’t in order to use the word.” It’s okay, you give yourself your own validation.

One thing my friend has also said, which rings true, is that not all people who are asexual, have zero attraction to others. Like, years ago, after she told me, she mentioned liking a few male characters from certain games she played, and finding them attractive. From my perspective, asexual meant you don’t feel any desire toward another person, but she clarified that some asexuals DO feel attraction to people, though it’s very mild. And they’re still asexual. The deal with asexuality, is that they don’t have any desire to be in a relationship.

literally everyone else:

stop calling yourself aphobic

not only does it make aroace people genuinely afraid and ashamed but it makes people such as gay aces or trans aros afraid of you as well.

if you’re gonna be a “proud aphobe uwu” then you don’t give a fuck about “lgbt” aces along with “cishet” aces. if you’re gonna call yourself an aphobe you can’t say asexuality/being aromantic is valid but “make your own community.” if you’re an aphobe you’re a threat to ALL aces/aros; not just the “cishet” ones.

Aside from the fact that some of your links are false, in that they aren’t actually offensive given context, this proves nothing as it goes back to what me and OP are saying: you have at most 10-15 asexuals who said some potentially stupid things. You do not get to generalize millions of asexuals based on these few links. Understood?

Lul.

Exclusionists are bad because your side is defined by hatred, you know? You're a hate group.

It's not that we are defending pedophiles, you know that's not the truth. The people you put in these "call out posts" did nothing bad. You were exaggerating to find some reason to “drag us".

Here's the thing, even if you had 100 links, that is not statistically significant. You need to do a proper population analysis of asexuals before you can rightfully conclude we hold problematic beliefs.

People have done this before, to measure the amount of homophobia in black communities for example (which showed black people are no more likely to be homophobic despite a popular belief we were).

https://coffee-desperado.tumblr.com/post/161975787103/im-shaking-so-ba-d-this-perso-has-harassed-me

Aside from the fact that some of your links are false, in that they aren’t actually offensive given context, this proves nothing as it goes back to what me and OP are saying: you have at most 10-15 asexuals who said some potentially stupid things. You do not get to generalize millions of asexuals based on these few links. Understood?

Aside from the fact that some of your links are false, in that they aren't actually offensive given context, this proves nothing as it goes back to what me and OP are saying: you have at most 10-15 asexuals who said some potentially stupid things. You do not get to generalize millions of asexuals based on these few links. Understood?