b

twelve

Middle school was terrifying, and there was nothing more terrifying than middle school boys.

Drew would ask you why you’d hang out with him if all of the other boys were so gross. “Because you’re not like them.” You’d blatantly reply.

The reality was that you were really learning about your emotions, your feelings, all of the things that a pre-teen girl was going through. And with a choppy haircut and all of the scary changes that both of your bodies were going through, you started to like each other… “like-like” you’d write in your diary.

sixteen

Drew pulled up to your house in a beat-up Honda, a squeal eliciting your lips as you trampled down the stairs. “I can’t believe it! You’re driving, by yourself!”

Drew stands tall inside the driver side door, grinning as he taps the top of the faded red roof. “Isn’t she a beaut?” You agree, patting the hood as you slide in the passenger seat. “You’re my first passenger, hold on.”

The two of you had a short lived adventure, leading the two of you to Cook-out and the local Wal-Mart where the two of you shared a tray of food and people watched.

Drew looked over at you as you attempted to suck the milkshake through the straw, complaining about how they were just too thick. He grinned, watching you as you struggled to take the lid off of the cup.

After minutes of struggling, you set down your cup and turn your body to face him. You have a smile on your face. “Okay, I have to tell you.” “Go on.” Drew turns his body towards you. “Grayson… asked me on a date! He invited me to the movies.” You squeal.

Drew feels his heart twist in pain, but quickly puts on a smile. “The-the senior?” “Yeah!” “Don’t you think he’s a little too old? I mean, we are freshmen.” Drew offers. “Oh, don’t get your tighty whiteys in a wad. He’s barely 18!” “And you’re only 15!” “I’m almost 16!”

sixteenth birthday party

Your hair was curled, dress on with heels to make you taller, make up to make you look older. You had every intention - to impress Grayson.

Every thought left your mind when Drew was the first to arrive, present in hand and a smile adorning his face. “Happy birthday, y/n/n! Now you can drive me around.” He wraps you in a hug, and you don’t miss the way the hug lasts a little longer than usual.

He pulls back, taking in your appearance. “You look… wow!” You grin at his reaction. “Do you think Grayson will like it?” You ask. Drew’s face falls. “Uh, yeah. He’d be crazy not to.”

The night passed on with dancing, singing, and more than enough sweets. But there was one thing missing… him.

While you tried to enjoy your night, his lack of his presence didn’t go unnoticed. You kept an eye on the door at all times, making Drew promise that he’d tell you if he slipped in. Drew continued to give a sympathetic smile when you’d make eye contact.

Drew made it his goal to make sure you had a good night by spinning you around in the middle of the living room while your friends danced around you. It seemed with every twirl, you were using it as an excuse to search around the room.

When the night came to an end without so much as a text or call, you finally let yourself cry.

It was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to be having the night of your life, and the one person you dressed up for didn’t even show up.

Drew walked in front the kitchen, after helping clean up the dirty plates and disposable cups, just to find you on the couch with your head buried in your hands.

“He didn’t come.” You struggle to get out. Drew rushes to your side, pulling you into him as you cry into his shoulder. “He’s not worth it, y/n. You deserve better.” He curses Grayson under his breath as he rubs your back. “You deserve so much better.”

prom

Drew watched Olivia from afar as the two of you sat shoulder to shoulder in the library. When you looked up, eyes meeting where his followed, your stomach tied in knots.

Push it away, y/n.

“Dude.” You whisper, bumping his shoulder. “What?” He shakes his head, looking back to you. You force a grin on your face. “I’m sure she can feel a weirdo staring at her.” “Can you blame me?” He asks lowly with a laugh.

You shake your head, leaning over your paper to finish writing your notes. “Why don’t you just ask her to prom?” You say, not looking up. “Because we always said we’d go together.” He reasons.

You sigh. “Leo from English asked me, I turned him down for you, but I’m sure he’s still up for it. Go, don’t miss your chance.” You encourage. “Are you sure?” “Yes, now go.” You laugh as you shove him from the chair, earning a playful flick to your shoulder. “Fine.”

You had to remind Drew several times that he needed a new tie, considering it was going to match yours originally. When Leo picked you up, he hardly complimented you after a few forced pictures.

You gave your tickets to the chaperone running prom, as Leo led you in to all of his friends. Obnoxious and barely giving you the time of day, you stood around, watching others dancing and laughing, regretting your suggestion for Drew to take Olivia.

It hurt even worse when you caught sight of them, dancing like no one was watching closer to the front. You smile sadly, knowing it wasn’t fair for you to be upset, but you couldn’t help the feeling.

Leo grabs your hand, pulling you back into the group before attempting to dance with you. His body comes behind you, grinding behind you to his own beat - you weren’t even sure that the two of you were listening to the same song by how offbeat it was.

“Lookie what I have.” He pulls a flask out of his pocket, showing it off to his friends before passing it around. You take a swig yourself, in hopes that it’ll make the one night you should look forward to in your high school years go faster.

“I’m going to go get some punch.” You say over the music. Leo waves you off as you walk to the table lined with plastic table clothes and scoop some of the punch in the cup.

“Holy shit!” Drew comes towards you. “Look at you! Are you having fun? Where’s your date?” Drew is breathless as he scoops his own drink. You point over to the obnoxious group in the corner. “Where’s Olivia?” “She’s over there.” He points towards her, and it appears she gushing to her friends. You give a small smile. “Glad you’re having fun.”

You’re not sure how much alcohol Leo has consumed or where he’s found it, but you know he’s too far gone and anyone could see that. You roll your eyes at his slurred words.

Your arms are crossed and though you were only tolerating this and were prepared to call your parents for a ride home, the line crossed when his hand moved down to your butt and squeezed. You quickly slide out from his touch, which only results in him getting angrier and more handsy.

“Stop pushing me away.” He grunts, pulling you into him. “No, stop touching me like that.” You protest, attempting to pull him away. His group of friends seem to find entertainment at your struggle and suddenly you’re feeling defeated.

“I said stop!” You yell louder. This still doesn’t gather much attention, but enough for Drew to storm over and grab you from his grasp. “She said stop.” Drew argues, pulling you behind him. “Always coming to her rescue. You won’t be around forever for her, dude. She needs to get a grip.” With a shove to Leo, Drew is pulling you out to the sidewalk.

Olivia follows close behind, and wordlessly stands away from the two of you. “Are you okay?” You ask. “No. I’m just going to call mom to get me.” “No, shh, here.” He shimmies his jacket off, placing it around your shoulders. “I could take you home.” He offers. Guilt swirls in your body when you hear Olivia her throat.

“No, have fun with Olivia.” You assure. “I don’t mind.” He whispers. “I’m fine, Drew. I’ll get a ride home from Nat.” She says, annoyance laced in her voice. “Are you sure?” “Yep.” She walks off, the door to the gymnasium opening to reveal loud music and loud hollering. “Come on, I’m ruining your date.” You whine. “You ruin nothing for me.” Drew mutters, helping you up.

twenty-first

Blind-folded, you walked down what felt like a driveway, hands being held by Drew and your friend, Ana. “Almost there.” Ana says, a grin evident in her voice.

When you climb a few steps, you are ushered into the door and the three of you stop. You feel Drew’s fingers move to work on the tied bandana around your eyes before whipping it off, revealing your friends. Being home from college during your birthday paid off to see everyone you loved together - even your best friends that you’d made on campus.

The night scurried along while you bounced from person to person, thanking them for coming. No one hesitated to slip you another drink, and that’s to say your cup never went empty.

“Thank you for this.” You gushed to Drew who was leaned against the counter, placing more drinks on the counter. “You know I’d do anything for you.” He says with a grin.

You’d had one too many shots and you’d found yourself dragging Drew to the backyard where your friends were lamely dancing around with their alcohol filled systems. You were right there with them. You sang loudly to the music as you swirled around, holding onto Drew’s hand as he moved you back and forth.

You turned around, grinning as Drew pushed your hair from your face. “You’re the best.” With tequila coursing through your veins, you wrap your arm around Drew’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Drew eases into it, the long waited moment of his entirety is actually happening. You bust into a laugh, before grabbing his hand to refill your drinks. While his heart is racing, your mind is boggling the lights, music, and people.

The next morning, you wake with a groan, covering your eyes from the sun. “Shit.” You mutter. You slowly place your legs over your friends bed, who must’ve taken downstairs after the party with the rest of the stragglers.

With the sun blazing into your eyes, you almost stepped on Drew who was passed out with a tiny blanket barely covering his body. You grin as you topple down with him, causing him to quickly wake, eyes filled with sleep. “Y/n? You okay?”

“Barely.” You mutter. “Do you need ibuprofen? Water? I can go find some.” “Shhh, no. I just need to rest. I can’t remember a thing from last night.”

Drew’s heart turns in his chest. “Nothing?” He whispers. “Just getting severely fucked up. That’s it.”

moving away

You swallowed hard, attempting to hold back the tears that were welling up as Drew loaded his final bag into the car. You didn’t want him to see you cry, but you still had the drive to the airport and sending him off.

You walked away for a moment to gather yourself, being reminded that this would be the first time you’d been away from each other. Since you were young, the two of you had been inseparable, all the way into college years when you both got accepted into the same university.

Using the tips of your fingers to catch the tears before they started their travel down your face, you turned around at the words, “I’m ready.” You were, in fact, not ready though.

As you got in the car with Drew, his parents driving behind you, he took a moment before starting the car. “I told you, you could always come and we could get an apartment together or,” but that wouldn’t work. That wasn’t your life.

“Drew.” You say calmly. He gives a sad smile. “I know.” “It’s just not my life out there. This is your life. And I’m proud of you, so damn proud of you.” You give his hand a squeeze.

The airport was typically one of your favorite places. It built the excitement of preparing to travel, getting there early to binge on junk, read a book, and buy a coffee or two. But today, it was your least favorite place.

As you all walked into the sliding doors of the airport, you were greeted by the hustle and bustle of those trying to make it through TSA, get outside, or saying goodbye to their loved ones. That was the hardest part - saying goodbye.

You waited patiently as Drew triple checked his flight details and went down the line to say goodbye to his family. They branched away from the two of you as Drew stopped, dropping his bags to fulfill the hug he’d been dying for.

“Promise me you’ll visit?” He whispers, his lips right in your ear. “I promise.” “Just say the word and we can arrange something.” You grin through already free falling tears. “Okay, Starkey.” “I’ll miss you.” “I’ll miss you more.” His arms linger around you, his heart growing more and more sad.

“You gotta flight to catch, Carolina Boy. Go show LA what you’re made of.” You pat his back, but the several kisses he leaves on your temple doesn’t go unnoticed.

the first video call

“… and I’ve met so many amazing people. You would freaking love them.” Drew gushes over the pixelated screen. “I’m sure they’re great.” You grin, situating yourself on the bed to lay forward.

“I miss you, you know?” Drew says with a sigh. “I know, I know. I miss you too. But, it sounds like you’re making some great friends.” Drew attempts to perk up at your words, taking in your appearance through the screen. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“LA looks good on you.” You compliment his fresh tan, the way his hair has lightened slightly, and the way his blue eyes are complimented. “NC still looks good on you, but I think you should come give LA a shot.” “Never gonna happen.” Drew’s heart falls.

getting over her

Drew knew this was where he was supposed to be… right?

The lights flashed throughout the club, his friends teetering on tipsy to almost gone. Only having nursed two beers, he was content with the level of “let-loose” he was.

Ciara, a close colleague from a recent short film made her way into the seat next to him. “I’m thinking I need to get out of her.” She says, breathlessly. A grin adorns her face as she looks up at Drew.

Drew tries to look at his friend differently, tight ringlets, big brown eyes. She was beautiful, no doubt, but she wasn’t you. But - no matter what, it wouldn’t work. It hadn’t yet. So why would it now?

Drew takes his shot. “Yeah, me too. Let’s get out of here.”

meet Ciara

“I have someone I want you to meet.” Drew coos over the phone.

The last time you’d talk to him was over a week ago, not very like the two of you, but you both were busy.

“Okay.” You say, sitting up in your chair at your desk as you push strands of your hair back. “This is Ciara.” Drew looks nervous yet happy as he pans the camera to the woman next to him.

Beautiful didn’t even begin to describe her. She was gorgeous, beyond that. “Hi, y/n! Drew’s told me so much about you.” Maybe she’s just a friend. Hell, y/n, get yourself together. The two of you could never work. Let him be happy.

“She’s uh, my girlfriend.” Drew says to you, as Ciara cuddles into him. “That’s… awesome!” You push out. “I can’t wait to meet you. You are coming to visit soon, right?” Ciara gushes. “Uh, yeah! Not sure yet, but soon.” You nod.

getting over him

You sat across Ethan at the local Italian restaurant, hunched over plates in low light, sipping red wine. Legs are crossed and your laugh carries between the two of you as you reminisce on short-lived college days, and you’re wondering, why hadn’t we done this sooner?

Ethan is bold, reaching out to grab your hand as you talk. You smile down at your hands. “I’m glad we did this.” He breathes out, leaning back against the black leather, still holding onto your hand.

“Me too.”

visits

Visits between you and Drew became strained as the two of you became more busy. You were both in relationships, busy with careers, you with family affairs.

But then the holidays came faster than you’d anticipated and though your families always had a Christmas dinner together, you found yourself more nervous. This would be the first time the two of you met each other’s significant others, considering the times you’d visited him, Ciara would just so happen be out of town and mention of her was quickly dissipated between the two of you, and the weekends he’d fly to NC, Ethan would be working - though he know him from college.

Drew wasn’t necessarily fond of Ethan, knowing the reputation he’d had in college. Drew saw the way he was at parties, the way he carried himself, and the way he treated girls, and he could only hope that it would be different for you. You deserved it, even if it wasn’t him.

You straighten your red velvet dress, running down the stairs at the ring of the doorbell. Seeing Ethan only seemed to heighten your anxiety, the thought that Drew would be here in mere moments with the girl he’d happened to fall for.

“Hi Ethan.” Your mom says, smiling as he greets her with a hug. Ethan had become the true epitome of what your mom hoped you’d end up with - a man with career, dreams, a family man, all of the above. He checked everything off her list, but you were second guessing if he checked everything off you’re own.

The walk over to the neighbors seemed way too quick. Your parents knock on the door as Judi answers and ushers you in. She’s quick to grasp you in a hug, patting Ethan’s shoulder, as she lets you get in. “Gorgeous as always.” She grins.

Logan, Brooke and Mack greet you, always excited to see you at their door. Since their brother left, you had found yourself hanging out with them more to get coffee when Brooke or Logan was home and the most recent engagement party and excitement for Mackayla.

Last, but not least, Drew and Ciara appear from around the doorway, a grin hanging on Drew’s face. His arms circle around you in seconds, whispering an excited hello. “I missed you.” He whispers. As he pulls away, he holds his hand out to shake Ethan’s, a bored look on Ethan’s face as he grasps his hand. “Ethan.” “Drew.”

You watch as the night unfolds in awkward silences, looks between your parents, and the way Ciara has undoubtedly made it known that she doesn’t care what she says. “You would think Drew is in love with y/n with how much he talks about her.” She throws in as your parents attempt to reminisce on embarrassing stories about the two of you, that they thought would make them laugh.

Your parents share an awkward laugh as you push a smile and excuse yourself to the bathroom.

his heartbreak

The other end of the phone goes silent. “You okay?” You ask, staring up at the ceiling with your arm slung over your stomach. You hear Drew clear his throat. “Yeah, uh, she left.” “What do you mean?” “Decided we weren’t it for each other.” “I’m so sorry.” “It’s okay, I’m okay. So how are you?”

your heartbreak

“Sorry, babe. Gotta work late.” Ethan says on the other line. “I could swing by and drop dinner off.” “No, no. That’s okay. I don’t want to inconvenience you.” He says. “I can bring Chineeeese, your favorite.” You sing-song. “No, babe. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to.” “Okay, fine. I’m gonna jump off here and go find something to eat.” “Okay, talk to you later.” “I love you.” “You too.” You too.

You scroll through your phone, nothing looking very appealing. You decide to surprise Ethan, knowing how hard he seemed to be working late with all of his late nights. You order from the local Chinese restaurant, and go to pick it up to drop it off.

As you pull up to his work, you notice something. There’s not a soul there. And his car definitely isn’t there. Your heart begins to race as you find the gas and gun it to his house.

You see it. You see her. And her car.

You feel sick as you pull into the driveway, the crunch causing Ethan to turn his head. “Oh shit.” You see him mouth. He runs to your car. “It’s-it’s not what it looks like.” “No, we’re done.”

the right time

The string lights create the perfect ambiance through the venue, the way the night sky so perfectly lets the lights have their moment.

You cried as you watched Mackayla walk down the aisle, traces of white symbolizing the love between her and her now husband.

“I never had to question if you loved me.” Mack says. Your heart stops at those words, and you’re not sure if it’s the pregame shot she offered you earlier, the indulgence of love, or the fact you and Drew simultaneously made eye contact at those words.

The reception was quick to start with toasts and excitement. Drew finds a seat next to you, sidling close as he sets a drink in front of you. “I figured I’d grab you one.” “You figured right.” You say with a smile. “I can’t believe this day is finally here.” Drew looks around, watching the way everyone is so effortlessly joining their own conversations, showering the couple in love.

“Me neither. Time flew by.” You say. “It’s funny, I always thought it’d be me first.” “Really?” You look shocked, well aware of his lifestyle. “Well, I guess I just had these plans.” “With Ciara?” You whisper. Drew clears his throat. “No, actually.” You look puzzled as he keeps his gaze straight.

“My favorite people!” Mack says, wrapping her arms around the two of you. You’re sure Logan and Brooke have been coaching her to drink this evening. “You’re a wife!” You stand up the wrap her in a hug. “This could be you one day.” Mackayla says, drunkenly wiggling a finger in your face. “I need a man first.” You joke, catching glimpse of Drew’s eyes widening. “Come on, come dance. You promised you’d dance at my wedding, Drewseph.” “Yeah, yeah.” He says, hugging his sister as the three of you join the dance floor.

Mack holds both yours and Drew’s hands as the three of you turn to the music. Drew holds up his arms as both of you spin, laughter spewing from the three of you. Drew notices the way Mack’s hands drop from his as the next song comes on. “I’m going to go find my husband. Here you go.” She joins the two of you together before patting your hands and walking away. “May I have this dance?” Drew asks, a smile tugging his lips. “I suppose.” “Guess I’m getting that dance I never got at prom.” Drew remarks. Your mouth drops. “You’re the one that wanted to take Olivia!” You argue, a grin appearing.

“Just dance with me.” Drew says.

Well, life is ever changing but I

Can always find a constant and comfort in your love

With your heart my soul is bound

And as we dance I surely know that

Some kinda of heaven will be found

“Whatcha thinking about?” You look up to see Drew’s eyes fixated on you. “Just thinking about life. You know, I just wonder what it’d be like if you remembered your twenty-first birthday.” “Okay, that is the most random thing you’ve ever said.” You said, pulling back. “It doesn’t matter, it’s a secret I’ll never tell.” “You tell me all your secrets.” “Not that one.” “I’ll get it out of you.” You say, moving your hand to poke his chest.

“Do you ever feel like we’re looking for the right person in the wrong people?” “What do you mean?” “Like, you know exactly who you want but it seems so out of reach. But it’s not. At least you hope not.” Your heart flutters. “I know exactly what you’re saying.” You reply. “It may sound stupid, I don’t know.” “Not at all.” You say, rubbing his arm.

“We kissed.” “What?” “Your twenty-first birthday. We kissed. But you were so far gone and don’t remember it.” Drew whispers. “Holy shit, why didn’t you tell me?” “Because I thought you lied, because you didn’t want anything to change. Because you’re my best friend. My constant. I was terrified.”

Your mouth drops. “Drew Starkey. I have went years without knowing this.” “Well duh, why would I tell you?” “Because maybe it would’ve saved us from some heartache.” “What do you mean?” Drew asks, cheeks hurting. “Because it’s always been you. I always look for you in everyone I meet.” “And no one could ever be you. I, just, you’re you and, and…” “Kiss me.” “What?” “Kiss me. We deserve to have it.”

Drew’s heart is racing. His hands move from your waist, cupping both of your cheeks as he pours himself into this kiss. He’s slow, gentle, sets you on fire. Every year and moment poured into this kiss - a first real kiss between the two of you.

“I’ve waited too long for that.” Drew pulls back breathlessly. “You’re telling me.”

“Did I just see what I think I saw? Am I dreaming?” Brooke stands by with her mouth dropped. Drew grins before placing a hooked finger under your chin, pressing his lips to yours again. “I’d like to do this forever.” He whispers.

“Who all is coming again? Because you have enough alcohol for an army.” You remark as you struggle to open to door on your own. “Literally just the reg, but this could be our last New Year’s together!” Josie exclaims.

“The girls are back!” Corey exclaims as he and Drew rush over to take the bottles out of your arms and place them on the kitchen island. “Shit.” Drew reacts to the spread. He walks around, sitting on one of the stools and slotting you into his side.

Josie pokes her bottom lip out, a smile forming on her face. “Y’all are just too cute.” Corey jokingly gags as he starts loading the fridge.

——————

“I wasn’t built for New Year’s eve.” You slur sleepily, glancing at the clock that just hit 11pm. Drew grins at you, his arms stopped securely around you as the two of you listen to the music playing on the television.

Glossy eyed, the two of you fall back in the chair while Josie pushes more drinks at you. You oblige, throwing one more back as Drew attempts to grab water. After two sips, he gives into one of Josie’s notorious influence.

The night ticks on with streams, music, and confetti poppers. Josie holds out a hand for you to grab, pulling you from Drew as the two of you twirl around the living room, holding your cups securely in the air, words drunkenly sung.

Drew watches your every move. The alcohol has him out of body, out of norm, staring at you. He’s falling, but this is more. He watches you freely, the way you jokingly sing to him, and in this moment it doesn’t feel fake. It feels like you’re his.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. It’s almost time.” Josie points to the counter on the tv, showing 11:58pm.

Drew moves next to you, stumbling over his own feet as the two of you giggle at the clumsiness. He pulls you behind everyone. His mind is everywhere but still in the same place at the same time.

“3…2…1…” Everyone shouts. As cheers erupt, Drew is staring at you. You look up at him, drunkenly grinning as you wrap your arms around his neck abruptly, pulling him down.

Your lips touch, but you are initiating every move. Your tongue slips past his lips, a moan escaping as his hands roam your back. Drew’s heart rate quickens as you deepen the kiss.

When you pull back, the shock on Drew’s face is prevalent. You grin, licking your lips as you clumsily stumble backwards. “Get a room!” Corey complains. “We will.” You quickly retort, unfiltered as every ounce of liquid pulses through your body.

You walk to the counter, walking back over to Drew. “Cheers.” You whisper.

Your confidence was growing and the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. This was the best act, but you were almost convinced that neither of what the two of you were doing is an act.

Drew squeezes your love handle slightly as you hiccup. “I think I need to slow down.” You slur. Drew nods, mentioning that he wants to go to bed. “I’m sure you do.” Corey remarks. “Fuck you.” Drew grins as he stands up. You grab the tips of his fingers, giving him a smile as you follow him down the steps of the cabin, down to the extra rooms.

Standing at the top of the stairs, they looked like your worst enemy. Drew wasn’t doing any better as he grasped the small wooden handle on the wall. The two of you are busting with laughter. “I’d I just run, it’ll be okay.” You announce. “That’s a bad idea.” Drew hiccups.

Before you can think, you’re attempting to run down the steps, only to shove into Drew who loses his own balance. The two of you tumble down the last three steps, as you land perfectly on top of Drew. “Shiiiit.” You groan. You lift up to see Drew laughing so hard it’s silent. “Fuck me, dude.” You say, laughing.

“Don’t say shit like that.” Drew’s eyes widen as he flicks your arm, missing. “Whyyyy?” “Because you’re so damn pretty!” He’s laughing as he rolls out from under you. You stand up confused, only causing him to almost drag you back down as he gets up on his knees.

“You’re pretty, too.” You wiggle your eyebrows, the confidence overflowing faster than you can stop it. “Prove I’m pretty. I’m not a pretty boy, y/n.”

Prove it. Before you can think, you’re pulling him into you in the middle of the hallway, pressing your lips to his. “I’m proving it.” You pull back. “You’re a pretty boy, Starkey.” His eyes are wide, registering your prior movement. “This is dangerous.” He replies, pushing you against the wall. His lips find your neck, peppering kisses from your jaw to your collarbone.

A small moan escapes your lips as he presses his knee between your legs, moving back up to your lips. “I don’t think so.” You breathe.

The kisses are impatient, fierce, hot. His hands are discovering your body in a way they’d never been before. He’d never been this close to you. This intimate. And he had no idea how much closer he could get.

Your back hits the bed, his body on top of yours as he shifts his weight in one hand, the other moving along the frame of your body. His lips can’t stay off of you for long - water for his thirst.

He’d hate to admit to you any other time that he’s dreamed of this. His mind is working too fast, too hand-in-hand with the alcohol in his system that neither of you are registering this uncharted territory you’re entering.

You raise your hands, peeling off your shirt, before dragging Drew closer. “I need you.” You whine under his touch. Drew swiftly takes off his shirt.

His hands behind your back, he looks at you as his finger tips come underneath your bra straps. “Is this okay?” “Yes.” You breathe. He unclamps the article, throwing it to the side as the blurriness in his sight registers what’s in front of him.

You grin as you see his mouth drop. “Come here.” You whisper. Your mind is everywhere as the two of you throw caution to the wind.

Neither of you take time to register what is truly happening. Drew is quick to ask for permission, and you grant it - even with a clouded mind, you know this is what you want. You have for a long time.

Drew presses into you, eliciting moans and curses, music to his ears. “Drew.” You moan. Your heart is pounding, This wasn’t supposed to happen. We weren’t supposed to fall. You weren’t supposed to fall.

The tightness in your stomach becomes unbearable. “Drew, I’m there. I’m there.” You clench around him, shaking under his touch. He lets go, your name rolling off his tongue in a tone you’d never thought you’d hear.

And cutting through all of the alcohol, the intensity that has flooded the room, you are sure you heard the next words out of his mouth. “I love you.” Breathless, breaking in his words, those three words.

Drew tenses at his confession, pushing through to pretend like he didn’t say it and you didn’t hear it.