everybody's dying, bitch! let's get you some fruit.

explain to me why shane claims he lives for the day when ryan will have some sort of mental breakdown in a haunted location but when ryan actually loses his shit over some random noise he’s all ‘it’s okay. calm down man. nothing’s wrong, you’re okay’. like what. what is the truth

it’s cute how shane and ryan both must think of the other as the annoying clingy friend who won’t leave your side

but hooli was like an abusive spouse to me, you know? like that guy who married julia roberts in sleeping with the enemy, it was dehumanizing. but then you, richard, you pulled me out of the life and you gave me hope and you gave me a sense of self worth. like richard gere did to julia roberts in pretty woman. every day here has been like that shopping spree scene. I’M PUTTING ON HATS!

jared i have no vision yes you do i believe in you no i literally have no vision all i see is stars and swirls i CANNOT see right now

okay but real question is how do you watch buzzfeed unsolved and not fall in love with ryan bergara

richard: what the fuck is a business plan bitch i will kill you

when jared first appears in the pilot episode he looks so incredibly put together and self assured. running around. strategizing for gavin belson. poaching richard. who are you.