Moves at a pace slightly faster than your walk speed but slightly slower than your run speed

a lot of scantily clad women with numbers in ther urls are following me lately. they must be smitten with my devilish charm

The smell of vanilla extract is not entirely unlike a sirens song

Short men are manlets, short women are minor-coded. Short nonbinary people need a third, equally-intolerable thing.

Late for elf practice 😔

*KILL!! KILL!!! KILL!!! KILL!! KILL*

VIOLENCE RULES!

*looks at the cock* ohh i shiuldnt trust my brain here maybe *bathes in my negative thoughts*

the Clock. The Clock. The clock The Clock

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

does anybody have that "take that ghost shit to arby's" post