OFF TRACK

Did you meant, liquid nitrogen replies.

Black hole nights. Double edged words that rips off even the compact of my bones.

When you first said that awful word. It was then sweet. Turning hundreds of terrifying looking cocoons in my stomach into rainbow colored butterflies. But then your "I love you." Slowly turned into bitter exchange of goodnights where obviously there is nothing good at all with the night. From the butterflies i pet, emerged hairy horrifying looking arthropods that crawls from the bottom of my trunk to the ridges of my teeth. Where they turned words into swords. Into dullness.

I miss those butterflies, they don't bother me at night, they even sang golden sweet lullabies while they cary me towards the sanctuary that you always go to.

They say that if it fails it's not love at all. I don't agree with that. It was love, it was every butterflies in our stomach. It was happy melodies and endearing laughters. It was endless "i love you's". It was long nights of story telling. It was us, we had love. But it failed. We know how but we'll never know why.

“What goes around, comes around.”

“My heart pounded death,”

The universe has a terrifying, peculiar way of making you feel something that you have never felt before, with no reason, or hazard signs or  clues, just--BAM! There it is right in your face. Well there our thousands of possible reason, combinations as they may say. Choices we make, the paths that we take, the words that cuts right through your compact bones. 

This time it’s the same story with a different cast. The story went as usual. A candle ignited, not knowing where it was placed. It killed the darkness that surrounds you. it let you saw the different hues in your world. It was an experience you’ve never felt before. The rush of blood from you heart to the whole of your body. It replaced the webs that housed your rib cage for a long time with rainbow colored butterflies. Every word from her was hot cocoa in a winter solstice night warming, rather melting the mammoth ice caps that you have built within your heart. You are over-whelmed with the unique flood. Every morning was a good morning, and nights were filled with firefly “I love you.” It was scary yet exciting. You forgot where the candle was lit. 

It outside, amidst the unforgiving droplets of rain. The light slowly faded, yet you resisted and ignited it even if the wick was wet. you covered it with your palms. But still the effort will never be enough. Now you are back to where you were before she ignited that candle. The butterflies have decomposed and what you feel now are arthropods crawling from your thorax to the ridges of your teeth. It happened fast like the usual.