critical role campaign 3, episode 23 βto the skiesβ - in which chetney goes on a secret solo mission to terrorise a shopkeeper, the gang gets REALLY obsessed with exploring a hole, and laudna accidentally feeds her fuckass patron.
travis reveals that while the others are delving into ashtonβs mind, chetney has snuck off into the night, aiming for the shop that overcharged him for his chisel tools. agskahska he SAID he was gonna get revenge, and clearly has decided that is exactly what heβs gonna do. mission impossible: chetney.
he climbs up the side of the building and slides down the chimney, narrowly avoiding the lit fire with a nat 20. ππ travis: βthe gods want this to happen!β LMAOOO.
he creeps around and intimidates the FUCK out of the store owner for a while, before TURNING INTO A WEREWOLF AND GRABBING HER. (this description does not do it justice - it is SCARY AS FUCK geakdhaksjsksh.) he corners her and growls βlet this be a warningβ¦ charge fairly for your wares!β LMAOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK.
he CLAWS her and matt tries to make sure travis knows that he could kill her with this hitβ¦ travis just shrugs. BROOOOO. he hurts her REAL bad. then he sets his claws on fire (apparently something he can do as a bloodhunter lmao) and cauterizes the wound, then tosses her a healerβs kit and says he knows how to find her now. ????? oh my god???
SGAKSHAK HE TRIES TO BREAK THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR AND ONLY ROLLS A 7. π he smashes into the door, then turns and goes β...do you have a key?β πππππππ INSANE. she tosses it to him, he fumbles it and finally unlocks it before bounding off into the night. INCREDIBLE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. he goes invisible as he runs out, thank GOD because there are a bunch of people on the street who have heard screaming and howling.
because fearne has the portable hole, which they have decided to use as a storage unit, she is going to be the keeper of items. everyone is like βoh this is a TERRIBLE idea - letβs do it!' talesin: βif you give something to fearne, just assume you never wanted to keep it anywayβ. π
they mess around with the portable hole - it works as a hole in the wall too!! fcg rolls right in there and imogen sends her dancing lights in, which works. good to know! this could be very multi-purpose.
orym gives chetney the horn they bought, since chetney is usually running off from the others, and it will give him a good way of letting them know if heβs in trouble. (it makes a horn sound in the head of whoever the blower wants within range, but is otherwise silent.) chet takes this opportunity to give orym his wooden gift - a box with moons, vines, and flowers on it. πππ ohhhh how sweet. orym and liam both seem genuinely moved lmao.
back to the portable hole lmao - ashton suggests they throw pillows and blankets in there to protect anything breakable they wanna toss in there, and fearne reveals (ashley must have done some research) that it has enough oxygen for 10 minutes of breath once folded up. good to know!
they discuss the possibility of making it into a sleeping hole, and having whoever is on watch just sitting up on the edge. everyone has a good giggle about how excited bells hells are about this hole, given where they have come from - vox machina with scanlanβs mansion, mighty nein with calebβs tower... and bells hells with their pitch black, 6ft wide hole. π although the mighty nein started out with tents and then with calebβs dome, so i guess there is always room for improvement! lmao.
ashton is (wisely) very concerned about the idea of sleeping in a hole that could suffocate them all to death in 10 minutes if someone folds it up. imogen goes into the hole and tries to talk telepathically to fcg from inside it. everyone is giggling now, because they have spent SO long working out the specifics of this item dhsjshsj, itβs getting a very intense and thorough inspection. oooh because the hole is a pocket dimension, imogenβs telepathy doesnβt work!
ashton pokes a rope in and folds the fabric, and the rope is severed lmao so now they know that wonβt work! (also, just a note: idk when, but the size of this portable hole went from 6ft wide and 10ft deep to 10ft by 10ft lmao, someone read it wrong between last episode and this one, and nobody has noticed yet π)
fearne starts pulling stuff out of her fur and chucking it in the hole. laura: βincluding dingleberries?β liam: βthis thing is not a portapotty!β travis: βfirst one to shit in the hole is in deep trouble! i got a good nose.β sam: βpee pees only!β i laughed so hard, i wheezed myself into a coughing fit.
they head over to eshteross, picking up their statue and their cookies π₯° laudna flirts with him a little, and when chetney calls her out on it, sheβs like βlook at him!β and chetney goes β... yeah, youβre right.β CHETNEYβS A LITTLE FRUITY, HUH? thank god. welcome to the queer character club travis, you held out for long enough. π
orym and imogen both thank eshteross profusely, and say they hope to see him again when they get back. fearne begins asking personal questions and he shuffles them all out the door π
they head to the skyship dock, and (credit to laura) you can see imogen getting tenser and tenser as they climb the tallest spire of jrusar, then up a spiraling staircase onto the dock. there is a MASSIVE skyship there but the one they want is eshterossβs smaller vessel - the silver sun. there is a fucking ROPE AND WOOD GANGPLANK TO GET ONTO IT. fuck that shit. someone would have to knock me out and drag me aboard, and imogen seems about the same lmao.
they meet the first mate first, who seems quite serious, and then captain xandis who is anything BUT. a nonbinary tiefling with tattoos that give an almost harlequin appearance, and they immediately joke about throwing bells hells overboard if they annoy them. π incredible.
they meet the rest of the crew (including a socially anxious bugbear π) and the ship sets off into the sky! as they travel over the land, they spot something just known as βthe riftβ, which is a 300ft drop where the jungle just falls away, dating back to calamity times. daaaamn. they learn that the hellcatch valley is full of factions called crawler gangs or just crawlers, and that there is a city on the edge of the rift that alleges to be in charge of everyone in the valley, butβ¦ the crawlers disagree lmao. OH. the reason they are called crawlers is that they ride on massive moving constructs that travel through the wastes. SICK. MAD MAX! i am suddenly very glad they are travelling via skyship ahakahsksh.
ashton and imogen are standing on the deck when everyoneβs gone to bed, imogen looking up and the moon and ashton down at the ground. imogen asks if ashton is from this area, and they say they are originally - apparently itβs a real shithole that nobody would willingly visit unless they were fleeing something lmao.
the next day, the captain tells them that there is no port in bassuras, because it has dangerous weather and is usually avoided by skyships, but they have been paid to take them there, soβ¦ a fair warning lol. GREAT. they say they are fairly confident and good at their job, but that bells hells should be ready to take cover if needed. π
they also tell the party that, since there is no port, they will have to drop them off and come back for them when summoned. ohhh boy.
orym does some very cool sword practice while balancing on the rail of the ship (with his ankle tied to it shaksh). one of the crew, a goliath named gordi, watches, impressed, and chats to him a little. orym is so cute, he is genuinely lovely. π
sam rolls the d20 for the day, and gets a 5, meaning matt asks him to roll a d6. liam: βgelidonβs back.β AGAKSHKAHS IMAGINE. she will find you across campaigns, in any worldβ¦ she has your scent!
orym, with his ridiculously good passive perception (that observant feat, letβs gooooooo, my druid took this feat too π) spots something in the clouds nearby. it looks like a snake, or something similarly thin. uh ohhhh. they see it when it leaves a patch of cloud for a second, and it is actually wide and flat, like a manta ray. COOL. hopefully it doesnβt want to eat them lmao.
the captain finally spots them and calls them βskirath huntersβ whichβ¦ doesnβt sound good. and one is coming right at them!! initiative time!! orym is protecting his new friend gordi. π₯Ή
these things can move 90 FEET??? ohβ¦. ahakahakahaj. one flies down and shoots spines at a bunch of the party. oh good!! AHHH it slams ashton really hard too!
meanwhile the other one goes for imogen, and laudna uses a really cool new reaction she has called βsilvery barbsβ that allows her to distract a foe and they have to re-roll a successful hit. and it misses imogen! LAUDNA SAVED HER GIRL. π oh shit, and since she succeeded, she can give someone she can see advantage on their next roll! SICK. she gives it to ashton.
imogen slices one with her dagger, which seems to surprise her lmao, and then ASHTON. they roll something really fucking cool on the weird ass rage table, and a fucking PORTAL OPENS UP so they can hit it from the deck of the ship. PERFECT timing for that particular effect lmao. everyone is very impressed.
these things have poison barbs in their tails!! not okay!!!
oooh the skyship has fucking harpoons, yessss bitch.
ORYM KILLS ONE!! YESSS MY LITTLE FIGHTER KING. OH NOOOO HE GOT KNOCKED OFF THE FUCKING SHIP!?!? LAUDNA CATCHES HIM WITH βFEATHER FALLβ BECAUSE SHE IS JUST IN THE RIGHT PLACE TO SEE HIM. FUCK. THAT WAS SO CLOSE.
so now orym is just falling away from the shipβ¦ π but at least heβs not falling to his fucking death.
ashton finishes off the final beastie, and everyone rushes to the side to see orym get WHACKED with a sail as he falls ππ the panic sets in as the captain hurriedly spins the ship around to try not to lose him, and SUDDENLY IMOGEN FUCKING LEVITATES INTO THE AIR AND SHOOTS OFF AFTER ORYM?? everyone is GAGGED.
she scoops orym up, and brings him back to the ship safely. she seems just as surprised as the others that she just fucking flew agakshkags NEW SPELL WHO DIS.
awwww orym grabs her hand and then laudnaβs and thanks them for saving his life. ππ
the captain is VERY impressed and watches on as they collect barbs left by the creatures. orym has collapsed on the deck and is just staring dazedly at the clouds - i wonder what hp he is sitting at now?? he got hit pretty fucking hard, a few times.
ashton seems very concerned for orymβs wellbeingβ¦ ππ₯° they carry orym inside to rest, and liam reaches out for a little talesin cuddle (while the rest make fun of chetneyβs uselessness in the fight π). π₯Ήπ
chetney manages to milk some venom out of the spines, so thatβs good to have on hand. fearne has the bizarre urge to reach inside the little slit where the eye is, and so she justβ¦ squishes her hand in there. π i really love how she operates entirely on impulse. ππ she rolls a nat 20 and pulls the fucking eyeball out AND LICKS IT. her tongue goes numb. oh my god shakshsksh. FEARNE I LOVE YOU FOREVER.
captain xandis is so fucking cool. just when i think matt has run out of cool character voices and personalities, he pulls out another banger.
fcg goes to imogen that night and asks if imogen wants him to try to connect laudna to her dream, so she can experience it with her. THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR. GIMME THE CODEPENDENT DREAM-SHARING LESBIANS. sam riegel, i owe you my life.
fcg, bless his heart, is like βi could watch you sleep and wait for you to dream, once you start jerking or something i could rouse laudna, and-β laura, barely holding it together: βoooookay, this is getting-β fcg: βitβs not creepy!β πππ and then marisha pipes up with that freakish puppet, pΓ’tΓ©, and-
fcg (sam) starts doing some flat earther shit again, while imogen gently corrects them, and matt just looks directly at the camera like π«©
fearne decides to sneak into laudnaβs room, find the weird doll imogen gave her, and pull out a tiny wig she has been making from her leg hair. SURE. she puts the wig on the doll, and then puts pΓ’tΓ© the rat atop her. jesus christ. fearne really is ashley at her most unhinged, i love it so much. when laudna wakes, she is delighted but then is like βoh?? they have souls?β π sam: βitβs like toy story!"
they get ashley to roll the d20 for the next day of travel, and travis (just like i HOPED he would) goes βcome on, gelidon!β AGAKAHAKS SHE WILL NEVER LIVE THAT DOWN.
ooh imogen and laudna have a bit of a heart to heart that night - laudna says she is proud of how far imogen has come, but she has noticed imogen acting a little out of sorts. imogen confesses, in laudnaβs head, that she still has the crystal. FINALLY.
imogen tells laudna it makes her feel safe, but that she doesn't think itβs good for her and that sheβs considered throwing it overboard. AND THEN. laudna gets a strange unpleasant thrumming feeling, like the crystal is telling her how displeased it is at this idea. hmmmmm. why is it communicating with laudna?? weird. maybe it has some connection to undead?
laudna says she understands the allure of borrowing from something elseβs power, but that she has to be careful. obviously she gets it, what with having fuckass delilah in her head. she feels another spike of discomfort, and realises she is nervous of the stone. she hasnβt had a good look at it, but it is making her both nervous and curious to have imogen holding onto it. she wants to see it. i wonder if delilah is pushing her to take it???
they pause with the roleplay to establish where they are, and they are alone on the deck, but this whole conversation has been in their heads. so imogen and laudna, to an outside observer, have just been staring silently at each other for AGES now. π
imogen, very hesitantly, hands the pouch containing the stone to laudna. laudna tips it into her handβ¦ and immediately feels that low pulse through her again. the stone begins to heat upβ¦ and her vision fades around the edges?? a voice says βchild, this is far too dangerous in your handsβ. DELILAH. OH GOD. WHAT IS GOING ON. delilah says sheβll βtake care of itβ, and laudna tries to drop the crystal, but CANβT. oh fuck! what is that bitch up to??? laudna, panicking, frozen in place, tells imogen what is happening. a warmth is spreading up her arm from the crystal, into her chest.
her hand shoots open and the gem is cold and BROKEN. oh my god what the FUCK did delilah just do?????
oh fuck, imogen is really upset. π₯Ί laudna is apologising profusely and saying she doesnβt know what happened, but imogen is likeβ¦ heartbroken. LAURA BAILEY, IF YOU DONβT PUT THOSE TEAR-FILLED BIG BROWN EYES AWAY, I SWEAR TO GOD. she goes to bed and laudna stays up alone.
laudna shouts βWHAT DID YOU DO?β and delilah is like βdw, i took care of it. and thank you.β fuck. shit. balls. oh my god. this is so bad. unbelievably bad. i think delilah just came back from the dead AGAIN. EVERYONEβS FACES! π
ashley, to marisha and laura: "side note - it was SO fun watching you guys. i was like βi. love. this. game!ββ π GIRL, SAME. i cannot fucking WAIT to watch ashleyβs reactions when laudna/imogen turns romanticβ¦. GIMME.
