Just thought Iād make a masterpost for my blog ^_^ so yāall can find my stuff easier
#star arts (my own work, always, both fanart and original)
#star writes (formal essays and articles)
#miscellaneous written fancies (my original poetry, although one or two annoyingly donāt show up in the tag so drop me an ask if you canāt find one and let me know so I can sort it out)
#star speaks (meant to be purely original posts but I accidentally got these mixed up with reblogs where I add something, my own thoughts, and all, however if you wanna find a particular Star only post itās here)
#star reblogs (reblogs only tag)
#star photography (literally anything with my photography)
#star bakes (baking chaos)
#star watches stuff (media commentary)
#EDdiary (my diary posts documenting my experiences attempting to recover from an eating disorder, at times triggering so be aware to tread carefully, particularly graphic posts I do tag and add a warning. Not daily, just whenever I feel like it)
#a bend in the road (musings on my personal careers and ambitions as well as my journey getting there)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Me every now and then: man maybe I donāt actually have OCD like itās really gone away and I cope so well now-
Me the very next hour/day/week: I am. Hor rible. I am very m uch.horrible and .do not deserve to live. I am going to contaminate my jour.nal with the bad feelings and evil.
Collection: The National Gallery, London, United Kingdon
Description
Ophelia, the doomed heroine in William Shakespeareās play Hamlet, rests within a luminous space filled with vibrantly-coloured flowers. Unlike her vivid surroundings, her face is drained of colour ā we are not sure if she is dead or only sleeping.
If you pay your credit card on time and never have to deal with interest or late fees, your credit card company will start offering you cards with much higher limits, sometimes as much as 10x your current limit. You gotta remember that even if that's fine for a lot of people, those offers are specifically designed to be traps, not rewards. Credit card companies do not like "deadbeats", people who pay off their card in full and on time, because they make the vast majority of their money off of interest and fees. They want to increase your limit so that you get careless and spend more than you can actually afford.
It is extremely easy to fall into credit card debt, especially if you get comfortable. Getting a higher limit can help improve your credit score but going into debt because of that limit will tank it anyway, so just be careful.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Cara needs your help. We have been scraped a third time. This is now a targeted attack meant to cause artists pain.
Scrapers know weāre a volunteer project with no financial means to respond. So they say itās legal, believing themselves untouchable.
Weāre taking action.
I believe artists who want to share their work with the world should get to do so without people violating their consent.
I wonāt be forced into making Cara members-only because some people think āconsent isnāt always validā. You donāt blame victims after harming them.
These scrapers feel safe because they know weāre small team of volunteers, that we have no way of affording help.
So Iām asking our community, will you come together? Please help us take legal action.
Other platforms may not care because artists are easy targets to bully. No one really stands with us.
But I care because it is my home, our home. I wonāt let them trample over the hearts of everyone. Our team may be small, but we want to defend Cara.
I have a lot on my plate and my body is falling apart from all Iāve taken on these past years. But I always think, when weāre alive, we should do whatās right.
People who think they can harm others because itās ālegalā shouldnāt get away with it. I refuse to give up.
I donāt want this to become encouragement for open season on artists, just because we seem powerless.
So I want to take legal action and find out just what we can or cannot do. I want to know what I need to do next, to make this twisted world change. To hold people accountable.
If you can, please consider donating whether itās $1, $10, or $50 to our legal fund. This will help us seek counsel for legal options for both Cara and its artists, and in carrying out necessary legal actions.
Please help us stop scrapers from targeting artists.
Despite my love for the franchise, I really cannot play re4 for long before the motion sickness kicks in
Managed to figure out the second puzzle to open the gate, only died like 5 times yet again in a big fight
I actually got the hang of it fast, used a vantage point in a house to shoot down a bunch of zombies without risking getting hurt, I just kept accidentally dying through dumb choices
hard to gauge if the answer to a ''how's your life been going'' should be ''im deconstructing everything about my relationship to expiriencing emotions and im finding it hard to grasp that im a real person who exists'' or ''been getting into wildberry jams lately''
Sibling rivalry only works on the page if both siblings secretly think the other one got the easier version of their childhood. Nobody thinks they won. Write both of them convinced they lost, and suddenly the fighting makes sense.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Self-indulgent writing gets treated like a crime, but honestly, what are we doing here if not indulging the part of us that wants castles, rivals, soft monsters, dramatic reunions, found family dinners, doomed letters, and emotionally constipated people learning tenderness? Not everything has to be clever in a marketable way. Sometimes the thing you want most is the thing with the most life in it.
"Why do you write morally complex love interests??"
Because a man who is gentle DESPITE being dangerous is more interesting than a man who is dangerous BECAUSE he is broken. I have given this thought. Too much thought. Goodnight.
People often choose familiar pain over unfamiliar peace. That sounds dramatic, but it is basically pattern learning. If chaos is what your character knows, calm may feel like a setup. If neglect is familiar, attention may feel like surveillance. If love always meant losing power, being loved may feel like being trapped. This is why ājust choose happinessā is not an arc. Happiness can be the scariest room in the house.
Yāalllllll I JUST HAD THE COOLEST, WILDEST AEON DREAM IT WAS LIIIIIIIT
Iām still sleepy
The TL;DR of it was. RE4 only instead of in Spain it was in space in a spaceship but internally looked like the typical sewers/oil rig layout of the games.
I was playing as them but more like I had their pov, rather than being separate from them. Like Iād switch between Leon and Ada as my character like in a video game, but I very much was them.
Leon was there to take down the operation and save someone (it was not Ashley, it was a little kid), but at the same time he and Ada were sort of arguing/talking about their relationship and how they care about each other. Ada then decides to help get the kid to safety, after playing as Leon and beating up a whole slew of guys running to take us down I switch to Ada whoās helping the kid make a makeshift hot air balloon to get out?
While this is happening Leonās investigating more and figures out how to get out, he does not have Adaās grapple hook thingy so heās gotta figure out a different route. It was very video game like Ada could swing around and use her grappling hook to reach high places but Leon had to rely on figuring out how to unlock or smash through doors and stuff, take the stairs, etc.
Ada and the kid arenāt completely safe though because theyāre being hunted by the villaināsā¦. Sentient cat? Idk there was this cat like creature hunting us and it was kinda creepy, like a typical black cat except longer and slender and it could talk. After landing somewhere in a park or something Ada and the kid still werenāt safe because this cat was stalking us and hunting us down.
Leon got out, ahhh I canāt remember there was this whole bit between him and Ada when he finds them at the park, basically just Ada admitting in her own emotionless/masked way that she does care about him too. I donāt think it was something explicit it was more like, her saying that she did something and thought of him.
Towards the end of the dream it was a bit odd, they were looking for the kid but also they were worried about her like, mental health. There was this scene skip or time skip or something and theyāre running through this kidsā¦. I wanna say orphanage but it also seemed to be like a mental support hospital as well, we were running down stairwells to them come to different floors with doors and childrenās names listed on bulletin boards and posters showing who was being attended to on each floor.
Ada quietly mentions that she wants to go to therapy and Leon realises that sheās actually opening up to him.
The dream sort of winds down because while looking for the kid they run into the staff of the hospital/orphanage and Leon/me in Leonās pov has to attempt some polite Italian (weāre in Rome I guess?) to smooth things over and ask for help to find the kid. The nurse/nun got super happy that Italian was even attempted to talk to her and chattered back happily
And it was around then that I woke up and GAAAH NO ADA AND LEON WERE TALKING THERE WAS DEVELOPMENT TwT I want my pookies to be happy together
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Under heated argument, you left in the middle of the night. You forgot to bring your charger during extended mission, and heās the one who suffers.. (a bit longer than usual)
The room was chaos itself. Brushes and canvases lay strewn across the floorāthe silent casualties of a vanished inspiration.
You. Gone in the middle of the night.
A single, poisoned sentence was all it had taken to turn the sanctuary into a graveyard. Guilt burned cold in his chest. He had allowed his concerns to turn to anger, and with one swift stroke, he had wounded the very person he tried to protect.
A single day was all it took for the silence to turn pride into suffocating regret. As the hours bled into evening, the sting of his own words began to fester. You remained a ghost: no text, no call, nothing. In trying to win a battle of egos, he was losing his world. By the third sunrise, he finally yielded. He sent a text, then anotherāshort, desperate. Still, there was nothing.
He became a prisoner of his own studio, pacing the floorboards, then sitting, then pacing again, his fingers drumming a frantic, uneven rhythm against the table. The silence of your phone was an indictment. He wondered, with a sickening lurch of his heart, if you had finally grown weary of his theatricsāif his "antics" had finally pushed you beyond the point of return.
Two weeks passed, and Thomasāreaching his own breaking pointāleft a voicemail after a barrage of unread messages. His voice was strained, stripped of its usual professional tone. Rafayel had descended into a total eclipse; he hadn't even submitted the pieces for his own exhibit. The man who lived for the spotlight had vanished into the shadows of his own making.
Exhausted from a mission that had spiraled into a nightmare, you finally collapsed into your apartment. The weight of the extended days clung to you, leaving no strength for unpacking. After a hurried bath, you surrendered to a heavy, dreamless sleep on the dusty couch.
Disorientation swallowed you as you clawed back to consciousness, the apartmentās expanding darkness offering no hint of the hour. Your phone lay like a cold, dead stone beside youāa casualty of a covert mission where you had committed the amateur sin of forgetting a charger.
Your phone finally gasped back to life, unleashing a barrage of notifications. Amidst the professional chatter and a solitary, quiet check-in from Xavier, Rafayelās messages bled across the screen like an open wound. They were a frantic descent from "we need to talk" to the small, broken plea of "come back."
Thomasās voicemail was the final blow. You wasted no time, plunging back into the night to reach him.
The gate hung ajar, a silent invitation into the void. In the moonlightās silver glare, the colorful hallways had withered into bleakness, as though the soul of the place had been abandoned long ago.
Chaos reigned in the hollow silence, but he was nowhere to be found. Only a faint clatter led you toward the bathroom, your heart rehearsing a quiet apology. But as the door creaked open, the moonlight revealed a devastating sight: the tub was overflowing not with water, but with a glittering graveyard of pearls. The iridescent gleam confirmed your deepest fearāthese were his tears, a mountain of sorrow wept in the dark.
"Rafayel! How long have you been here?!" Your voice shattered the cold air. You rushed to his limp, ashen form, where silver scales shimmered cruelly against his bare collarbone, marking the point where the artist had finally broken.
"Y/N?" His voice was a fragile thread, barely holding together. He lifted his heavy, bloodshot lids, his gaze drowning in tears as another pearl clattered against the mound.
"Iām so sorryāI never meant to ignore you," you whispered, your fingers grazing his cold skin. "Please, stop crying."
"My bride," he whispered, the words a broken vow. "You stole my heart long ago. Will you leave me to wither again?"
He rose from the icy water, his strength fraying as he stumbled toward you. His hands hovered near your face, trembling but never touching. His gaze was a storm of longing, anchored in the deep, agonizing pain of a man who had already died once in the silence.
You were blind to his words, consumed only by the sight of his ruin. Stepping into his space, you pulled his trembling hands to your cheeks, anchoring him. "I'll never leave again. Iām yours, as you are mine," you whispered, sealing the vow with a kiss born of raw regret.
The touch ignited a dormant fire. He surged forward with the desperation of a drowning man reaching for air, his kiss hungry and frantic as he pulled you against the heat of his skin. The sudden change of pace made you jolt and arch your back. You gripped a handful of his hair.
As if woken from a trance, he opened his eyes to gaze into yours. In one fluid motion, he carried you from the cold porcelain to the safety of the bed.
The whole night was spent in a slow, aching rhythm of devotion. His gaze never wavered, tracing your silhouette as if memorizing a miracle. When the first light of dawn fractured the room, you woke to find him still watching, his eyes reflecting a thousand years of longing. In that golden silence, you made a silent pact: you would never hurt him again.
I specifically made this story to match Rafayelās dramatic flair. Not gonna lie. I got help from my sister writing this. Love it, but not proud of it. I still donāt know what this is, fluff or not. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one too. I mean, not a bucket but a bathtub of pearl. š«£