Overwatch Trash

McCree: “C’mon, honey. I didn’t mean anything by it. Open the door.”

Hanzo: “...”

McCree: “..I can wait here all day, Han. The silent treatment ain’t gonna work.”

Hanzo: “...Ryū ga waga-“

McCree: *yelps and bails*

Jack: “Hey, kiddo. That’s quite the pair of roller skates you got there.”

5 year old Lucio: “Obrigado! They’re leg braces! I wear ‘em so I can play! I like frogs!”

Genji lays on a bed, in a private room in an Overwatch watchpoint medical wing:

Genji: *eyes weld up with tears as he stares at the wall*

McCree: *suddenly bursts in the room, quickly shutting the door behind him, leaning against it with a smirk, listening closely for a moment*

From outside the room:

“Morrison, you seen McCree? His hiding from me because he knows I’m going to kill him if he hasn’t filed his report.”

“Haven’t seen him, Gabe.”

*sighs* “That damn ingrate...”

McCree: *snickers quietly and pulls out a bottle of bourbon from behind his back* “Nothin’ to it.” *starts opening the bottle and freezes when he see’s Genji* “HOLY HE- I’m mean uh-... you... you alive?”

Genji: *expression scrunches slightly* “....Is it... that bad?”

McCree: *immediately feels guilty* “No no it’s nothin’ like that I just meant uh... wait... you’re that Japanese kid they brought in to take out the clan, ain’t ya?”

Genji: “... Genji.”

McCree: “Yeah that’s it! Damn.. they told me you were in rough shape but I didn’t expect-.... erm.. sorry..” *turns to leave, but then hears more voices on the other side and turns back* “Ya know, I might just hang in here for a while. You don’t mind, right?”

Genji: “I think I would prefer to be alo-“

McCree: “Course you don’t mind!” *pulls out a chair and rolls over next to Genji, undoing the lid on the bottle of bourbon* “Fancy a drink.”

Genji: “I don’t even know if I have a liver anymore.”

McCree: *bites his inner cheek with guilt* “Right right..” *hesitates for a moment before taking a drink of the bourbon, tending his body a bit* “Wooo.. that’s some good stuff.”

Genji: *watches him for a moment before going back to staring at the wall*

McCree: *looks at him, slight guilt in his eyes* “... Shimada, right?”

Genji: *turns his glance to the other, his face still facing toward the wall*

McCree: *holds out his hand not clutching the bourbon bottle* “Jesse McCree. American Outlaw.. er.. former, anyway.”

Genji: *turns his head slowly and looks down at the hand*

McCree: “... Do you uhh... do you shake in Japan?”

Genji: *stares for a moment before turning away again* “It hurts to move.”

McCree: *frowns and puts his hand down, turning away as well* “Oh...” *takes another sip* “....” *smirks slightly* “You know what’s good for pain?” *holds out the Bourbon bottle*

Genji: *looks down at the bottle* “....” *takes it and hesitates before slowly taking a swig, tensing and letting out a grunt*

McCree: *snickers* “Strong, ain’t it? That’s the way we Americans drink.”

Genji: *stares at the bottle* “It’s not bad.”

McCree: “Well don’t hog it!” *takes the bottle back and has another sip before holding it back out to Genji*

Genji: *takes it back and takes two big gulps, tensing*

McCree: “Woah woah, easy! Remember how you said you might not have a liver?”

Genji: *takes the bottle from his mouth and lets out a few short breaths* “If I’m lucky, it will kill me.”

McCree: *eyes widen slightly* “Uhh.. or maybe it won’t. I’m kinda hopin’ it doesn’t ‘cus killing a cripple ain’t gonna look good to the higher ups”

Genji: *stares at Jesse, a pained, sad look in his eyes*

McCree: “... Oh! I mean- I don’t mean you’re a cripple- I mean- Uh”

Genji: “No... you’re right... I am crippled... I guess I might as well accept that..” *takes another drink from the bottle*

McCree: *bites his inner cheek, letting the awkward silence play out before taking the bottle back from Genji* “So.... Your name again?”

Genji: “...Genji.”

McCree: “Right, Genji...” *snickers and takes a drink*

Genji: *raises an eyebrow slightly at him, a bit offended* “What’s funny?”

McCree: “Your name.”

Genji: *frowns* “At least it’s not Jesse McCree. It sounds like you made that up.”

McCree: *flushes slightly and shoots him a look* “Hey, where I’m from, you respect the man handin’ out the free booze. Shut your yap.” *takes another sip*

Genji: *lip twitches into a small smile*

McCree: “So, uhh... what exactly happened to you?”

Genji: *immediately frowns again* “...I would prefer not to talk about it again...”

McCree: *looks off to the side, feeling awkward again* “Well.. it don’t matter anyway. Ziegler’s the best doc in the business. I assume you’re here so she can fix ya up?” *takes another drink*

Genji: “They offered.. but I turned them down.”

McCree: *almost chokes* “W.. what?”

Genji: “I figured... there’s no reason for me to go on in an artificial body. My life as it was is over.”

McCree: “So... What? You’re just going to lay here for the rest of your life?”

Genji: “Shouldn’t be long before they decide to pull the plug on me anyway.”

McCree: *stares at him for a moment* “You just love to wallow in self pity, don’t you?”

Genji: *eyes widen slightly as he looks to Jesse* “Huh?”

McCree: *stands up and glares at Genji* “I felt bad for you at first, but now you’re getting real annoyin’ with all this pitiful shit.”

Genji: *stunned* “W-wha-“

McCree: “You’re the most ungrateful little shit I’ve ever seen. You realize Angela was in that operating room for days tryin’ to keep you alive? She looked like a god damn ghost by the time she got out of there. And then these past few weeks she’s been doin’ nothin’ but monitoring you. And you’re just gonna refuse to try to live? Where I come from the only person who doesn’t take a second chance at life is a damn idiot.”

Genji: *stares at McCree in disbelief, unsure what to do for a moment* “...” *looks down* “....Is that so?” *looks back up at Jesse with a crazed look in his eyes* “You think you know a damn thing about me, you hillbilly piece of shit?!”

Jesse: *eyes widen and he puts his hands up* “Okay okay! No need to start shouting! Someone’ll hear!”

Genji: “You don’t know what it feels like! You couldn’t imagine how it feels!!”

Jesse: “Shut your damn mouth before-“

Angela: *rushes into the room* “Genji? What is-“ *spots McCree* “Jesse?!”

Jesse: “Shit!”

Angela: “What on Earth are you doing in here?!” *runs over to Genji*

Jesse: “I was just-“

Gabriel: *comes into the room* “This room is restricted, McCree! I should have expected you’d be in here snooping around!”

Jesse: “Now Gabe, let’s be reasonable with each other-“

Jack: *enters followed by Ana* “What with all the commotion in here- Jesse?... is that my good whiskey?”

Jesse: *hides the bottle behind his back* “Uhh-“

Angela: “Oh my god! Jesse, did you give Genji alcohol?!”

Ana: “He did what?!”

Jesse: “He took it from me! I swear!”

Gabriel: “He doesn’t have half his body, you moron! One beer could kill him!”

Jesse: “Well, he ain’t dead yet!”

Jack: “Jesse, this is the lowest-“

Genji: “I WANT TO WALK!”

*Everyone goes dead silent and turns to Genji*

Genji: “I’ll do it. I’ll join Overwatch... and when I do, I want a body I can walk in again... and when I have that-“ *glares up at McCree, fire in his eyes* “I’m kicking your ass.”

Angela: *tears in her eyes* “Yes... yes of course! The designs are already prepared! We can have it made and fitted within the week!” *puts her hand on Genji’s, relief in her eyes*

Jack: *still has a shocked expression* “Okay... this is.. this is wonderful. You understand what we’re going to be asking of you, right?”

Genji: “I understand.”

Ana: *smiles with approval*

McCree: “...Didn’t anyone hear the threat he just gave me?”

Jamie: *in the middle of a long elaborate story while walking down the school hallway with Hana, Lucio, Genji and Mei, a strip of bandages wrapped around his head* “So this gang is circlin’ us like a bunch of vultures shoutin’ “GIVE US THE JEWELS” So I shouts to them “I GOT YOUR JEWELS RIGHT HERE!” Cuz I had stuffed em down my front for safe keeping, but this gets em all riled up for some reason and one of hits me square in the head with a beer bottle.”

Mei: “What did the doctor say? Do they think you have a concussion?”

Jamie: “What doctor?”

Lucio: “You didn’t see a doctor??”

Jamie: “Nah, Roadhog took care of me. I ain’t got no insurance.”

Lucio: “Maybe I should take you to the nurse.”

Jamie: “Oh calm down, this ain’t the worst head injury I ever goOO- HEY!” *scampers over to the girl attempting to wipe the dirt off his locker and glares at her* “What the hell you think you’re doin’?”

Girl at Jamie’s locker: *turns and holds her dirty handkerchief, that she was using to wipe the locker, in front of Jamie’s face* “This is unsightly.” *tosses the handkerchief at Jamie’s face* “I am Satya Vaswani, and as President of the Student Counsel, I demand that you clean out your locker, Jamison Fawkes.”

Jamie: *flinches and swipes away the handkerchief before pushing his way in between Satya and the locker* “There ain’t nothing wrong with my locker! It’s perfect the way it is.”

Satya: *backs away slightly, not wanting to be too close to Jamie’s oil and smoke covered gloves and puts crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes* “Look at the lockers surrounding yours, nearly pristine stainless steel, could use a polishing, but are in acceptable limits. Or at least they would be except your locker has tarnished the quality of this entire hallway. Smeared with oil and dirt, dented so severely that it’s a miracle the lock still functions, those horrid bumper stickers, and worst of all the revolting odor that emanates from it, leading me to believe something died in there!”

Jamie: *smirks and leans against the locker* “Yeah, it took me a while to give it some proper personality.”

Satya: *gets a disgusted look* “I demand that you clean this repulsive locker!”

Jamie: “I don’t care if you are student captain or whatever, last time I check, the student council was just a buncha preps who do nothing but whine to the teachers and beg for money!”

Satya: *glares slightly and tightens her fist* “Then you obviously know nothing. Clean your locker or I will be forced to take drastic measures.”

Jamie: *makes a rude noise* “I’m sooo scared! Why don’t you clean it yourself? Heh, I bet you’re too much of a prep to even touch the thing with your bare hands!”

Satya: “I may have higher standards for myself, but that is why I am in a position of authority. And why someone like you is always going to be-“

Jamie: *wipes a hand across his locker, collecting a large amount of dirt, and holds it out threateningly toward Satya* “Will ya look at that, I just soiled my good glove, be a shame is I were to touch something with this hand.”

Satya: *eyes widen as she turns her body, trying to keep her bright, white shirt out of Jamie’s sightline* “You wouldn’t dare.”

Jamie: *snickers and approaches, wiggling his gloved fingers mockingly* “Oh dear, I think I’m fallin’! Better hold my hand out for protection!” *gets within 5 inches of Satya’s shirt*

Satya: *tries to keep her cool, but yelps and backs away when Jamie gets too close, her eyes brimming with tears* “Vile parasite!”

Jamie: *smirks in delight and continues approaching* “What’s that, love? Didn’t catch it. Speak into my hand!” *jumps forward, swiping his hand at her*

Satya: *screams and side steps, immediately turning and running*

Jamie: *laughs delightedly and puts his hands on his hips* “See ya later, prep!”

Mei: “Jamison, that was mean!”

Jamie: *turns to her, a confused look on his face* “Whadya mean? She was askin’ for trouble so I gave it to her!”

Genji: “She’s only trying to help the school, Jamison. Maybe cleaning your locker isn’t such a bad idea.”

Jamie: *frowns and narrows his eyes* “Who’s side are you on? My locker’s the way I like to keep it! So what if it’s a little different?”

Hana: “Well.. the problem isn’t really that it’s different..”

Jamie: “What?! You too? Ain’t their anybody on my side in this?”

*The other 4 remain silent for a moment*

Jamie: “... You gotta be kiddin’!”

Lucio: “It’s not that we don’t support you, it’s just... you’re locker’s kinda..”

Hanzo: “Repulsive.” *walks up to them with Jesse next to him* “It’s the single most disgusting thing in this school.”

Jamie: *stares blankly for a moment* “And you all think this?”

*Another awkward silence*

Jesse: “Come on, now. Let the man do what he wants with his stuff. Ain’t harmin’ nobody.”

Hanzo: *gives him a look* “You’ve never been around when he opens it.”

Jesse: “Whadya mean?”

Jamie: *makes a rude noise* “Hanzo’s just a prep like the girl! Watch.” *turns and pounds his fist on the locker, opening it and sending a pile of unidentifiable, grime covered school supplies to the floor and a ungodly stench into the air*

Jesse: *eyes widen and water up, covers his mouth and nose with the bandana around his neck* “Sweet merciful Mary!”

Hanzo: *coving his nose and mouth with his sleeve* “I told you.”

Jamie: “What? It ain’t that bad!” *picks up the pile of supplies and shoves them back into the locker, taking out a book and slamming the door closed*

Everyone: *start breathing again*

Jesse: *gags slightly* “Fawkes. I ain’t one to normally switch sides, but that was the most unholy thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

Jamie: *scoffs* “You’re all a bunch’s Nancys. My lockers fine and it’s stayin’ the way it is!”

Lucio: *looking a bit queasy* “I don’t know, Jay Jay. I was on the student council last year, Vaswani isn’t one to back down that easy. She was the reason I had to get out of there. I’m telling you, this ain’t over.”

Jamie: “What? That little dainty prep? She ain’t got nothin’! I can handle her easy.”

Lucio: “But Jamie-“

Jamie: “You worry too much! She can’t even touch my hand. She’s a coward through and through. Now, if you’re all done nagging me, I gotta splittin’ headache I gotta sleep off in class.” *walks off down the hall*

Mei: “Do you really think Satya can force him to clean his locker out?”

Lucio: “All I know is, with her on the case, that locker’s gonna be clean by the end of the week, one way or another.”

Blackwatch Genji: “.....”

Zenyatta: “.....”

Blackwatch Genji: “.....”

Zenyatta: “.....”

Blackwatch Genji: *throws up his hands and charges away* “That’s it! I’m out! Damn bot is broken!”

Junkrat: “Well, obviously, it’s Roadhog.”

Roadhog: “I thought...”

Junkrat: “What?”

Roadhog: “....”

Junkrat: “Did... did you think I was the cool one?!”

Roadhog: “...”

Junkrat: “Roadhog! That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever not actually said to me!”

McCree: “You know, yeah, I did.”

Hanzo: “Oh, I love Genji!”

McCree: “You hate Genji-“

Gabe: *cracks his neck as he goes down stairs, stops at the bottom as he sees that Jack isn’t on the couch* “...Jack?”

Jack: *comes out of the kitchen with a mug in his hand* “Morning, Gabe. Made some coffee.”

Gabe: “Wh- you should be resting. Not making coffee.”

Jack: “Relax, it doesn’t take a lot of effort. I also started on the kids lunches. You do make their lunches, right?”

Gabe: “Well obviously, I don’t trust the processed crap that they call food at schools nowadays. But that’s beside the point. Let’s get one thing straight here, Morrison. You’re here to rest.”

Jack: “I assure you, I’m fine. This isn’t the first time I’ve been injured.”

Gabe: “You’re really going to tell me about your injury past? I think I’m fully aware.”

Jack: “... Does it bother you?”

Gabe: “... The only thing that bothers me is your attitude. Go sit down.”

Jack: *hesitates before going and sitting on the couch*

Gabe: *sighs silently and goes into the kitchen*

Hana: *comes down the stairs, rubbing her eye and yawning* “Morning Dad, how are you feeling?”

Jack: “I’m fine, Hana. Was the guest room alright for you?”

Jesse: *comes down after her* “It better be. There’s a better bedding in there then for the rooms for his own kids.”

Hana: “Woah, Jesse. I’ve never seen you with stubble before.”

Jesse: *smirks* “It’s only natural for a man of my virility.”

Gabe: *coming out of the kitchen with a mug of coffee* “Jesse, shave it off.”

Jesse: “Come on, old man. Little guys are just startin’ to grow.”

Gabe: “Do we have to have this conversation every day? Your school doesn’t allow facial hair. Shave it.”

Jesse: *groans and goes back up the stairs*

Sombra: *smirks at Jesse as she’s walking down* “Aww your little baby hairs are back.”

Jesse: “Shove it, Sombra.”

Sombra: *shrugs and climbs the rest of the way* “Hey, any coffee for me?”

Gabe: “No, Sombra.”

Sombra: “You know I’ll find a way to get some anyway.”

Gabe: “My job is to make your life harder. You’re too young for coffee. You want it? Well, you’re not getting it from me.”

Sombra: *narrows her eyes a bit and huffs* “Fine.”

Gabe: “Is your sister up yet?”

Sombra: “Psh. I don’t know, and I’m not waking her up again. She nearly suplexed me last time.”

Gabe: “She’s had time to beauty sleep for days since she’s been suspended. She should be rested by now.”

Amélie: *comes down the stairs with a blank, soulless stare*

Jack: “Morning, Amélie. How did you s-“

Gabe: *puts a hand on his shoulder to silence him and shakes his head*

Amélie: “Coffee.”

Gabe: “In the kitchen, dear.”

Amélie: *walks silently into the kitchen*

Hana: “Yikes. What was that?”

Sombra: *starts breathing again when Amélie leaves the room* “She’s not a morning person.”

Jack: “What happened to “too young for coffee”?”

Gabe: “I’m not proud of it, but I’ve learned not to question her in the morning.”

Sombra: “Now you see what being a decent person gets you around here.”

Jesse: *pokes his head down from the upstairs* “Did the witch come through yet?”

Gabe: “She’s in the kitchen. Keep your voice down!”

Jack: “This is sad.”

Hana: “Really sad.”

Genji: “No..”

Zarya: “Good, cus never happened!”

Genji: “Aw..”

Junkrat: “That’s your plan? You’re crazy!”

D.va: “You’re calling me crazy?”