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âIâŚI just want to kiss you first. More than anything, I think.âÂ
This earns him an amused huff. âSweet JohnnyâŚâ
Johnâs cheeks grow warm. âIâm serious.âÂ
âI know you are,â Simon replies, his voice soft.Â
----
Technically fanart for my fic "Accept Invite" - a "What if they met while playing Call of Duty?" AU. If you like uhhh *checks tags* gay chicken, bisexual awakenings, phone sex, long distance pining, and cozy domestic slice of life, then I humbly present this as an offering  â¨
Also, Simon has a service dog. Her name is Sadie. She is best girl.
you are destruction | kyle garrick x reader au | 1.4k words
this ficlet is set in medieval Ethiopia (specifically inspired by the Hadiya region), and the reader is cis-female and Ethiopian. please see additional author's note at the bottom.
What is a knight if not a footman dressed up as a warrior?
What is knightly devotion if not obsession dressed up as duty?
Your mind, reputed to be quite empty and flowery, has spent the better part of this year thinking about your knight. Your Ężuqabi. He is, of course, not yours, but your heart feels glad to think of him as such.
Father purchased his services before the cold came, and the man has seemed to fill every wine-red arch of the keep since then. He speaks freely with his fellow knights; to your ear, it is a stiff and rigid language, but you enjoy watching his mouth move.
As the middle daughter of a gerad, you are all too acquainted with the notion that your father and your sisters consume most of the oxygen in any given space. As gerad, your father is a rare figure to glimpse, but no less imposing for his absence. His absences have grown longer once your mother passed several years ago, as you became a woman.
The eldest sister, Yodit, is betrothed, her wedding ceremony scheduled in one month's time. The preparatory festivities have allowed you to roam the keep, largely unattended and unnoticed.
Eleni, your younger sister, is kept busy as she is still a child. Although you enjoy her companionship at times, she would spend a whole evening painting pictures with her words instead of letting a room breathe.
Your knight has a strange name, Ser Garricke. Your tongue practices the sounds in the privacy of your bed after nightfall.
He hails from England, and you heard tale that he travelled with his fellow knights through Egypt. The sights he must have seen! The women and girls he must have dazzled! He's terribly grand in stature, a mountain to your pebble, and your body is overcome with shivers when you are in close proximity to him.
He is forbidden to speak to you. That fact is only a spark to the flame in your heart. If his tea-amber eyes should fall upon your person as you walk the halls, he will quickly evade them. It does not remove the sensation that he is still, somehow, watching you.
One of many nights of festivities takes the keep by storm, and you are filled with gratitude that all attendees are focused on Yodit. When permitted to move freely about the room, you slip through the clusters of brightly layered fabrics and scents of honoured guests, wishing to remain unseen.
Your Ężuqabi, your protector, is standing guard under a distant archway, his large hand on the hilt of his blade. You shiver as you approach, but you approach nonetheless.
He is alone and you are alone, and he is still forbidden to speak to you.
"Ser Garricke," you greet. You do not speak to him, and he has never heard you address him as such, your tongue rounding out the sharp shapes in your mouth.
His eyes widen, then flicker down to your slippered feet.
"It is the eve of my sister's ceremony," you state. He would like you to please walk away, you can read it as if the script is sewn into his uniform. He will never say it.
You are your father's daughter and use this as your advantage.
"I do not feel safe walking back to my quarters unescorted. My maids are flush with drink and honouring our guests. Ser Garricke, I ask that you escort me."
He shifts side to side, the discomfort clear as the night's stars tonight. He should not leave his post, but he is at the mercy of the gerad, which extends to the daughters. You hold your breath, watching these conclusions flourish on his beautiful face, and then he is stepping out of his stance.
"Woizero," he says softly, their title for you and your sisters.
Escorting you back through the private halls, emptied now, to your quarters.
"Will you be able to have a drink in honour of Yodit this eve, Ser Garricke?" You ask softly. There is a playful teasing tone to your voice when you ask.
He must be on his own battlefield presently: he is forbidden to speak to you, but is it ruder to ignore a directly addressed question by a gerad's daughter?
"I will not," he finally says, firmly. That he means to put an end to any line of inquiries.
You offer a sweet hmm sound to this. When you reach the door to your quarters, his body pivots away.
"Ser Garricke?"
His body stills.
"With the volume of drink my father has offered his guests this eve, I should suspect that any manner of wayward guests might wander the halls of our keep. Perhaps someone who holds less chivalrous and virtuous intents in his heart? There would be no way of knowing if such a person could have stolen into my quarters without a servant's eyes catching them."
You point at the door sweetly.
His expression is of determination, soured by something in particular, although you know not what it could be. He opens the door, hand on hilt.
"Clear."
"And of my secondary quarters, just there?" Deeper in.
He hesitates, but moves further inward, and this is the first time that you have witnessed his body be held with such uncertainty. It is remarkable to see.
As he proceeds deeper and inspects your secondary room, largely for prayer and wardrobes, you shut the door silently behind you.
He emerges, and notices his exit has been closed immediately.
"Woizeroâ"
"Ser Garricke, how long have your eyes found me since you arrived? How long have your watchful eyes noticed mine falling upon yours?"
He looks pained, so you offer him relief by going to him quickly, soft-footed. "Please alleviate our mutual suffering. An honourable man of your title would grant such a reprieve to allow us to move on?"
As if he is quoting scripture, he extends the expected response. "Woizero, please. I ask that I take my leave."
"Ser Garricke, you are under my father's roof. In my quarters â where Yodit and my father do not supersede me â I hold authority over you. I do not give you leave."
Desperation in his honeyed eyes. No richer, sweeter wine.
You approach him and he is as rigid as a statue in the courtyard. You ply him with a benevolent smile, and press your hand firmly against the bulge under his layered dress. Your heart is feverent and fast-beating when you touch him; the layers are thick, difficult to make out what you seek to the detail you crave, but it is enough for now.
His expression turns tortured, agonized, under your hand's explorations.
"Woiâ"
"You know my name, Ser Garricke. I demand you use it."
You go up on your toes, taking the layers around his chest in hand, and pull him down to your face. He is breathing as heavily as a horse might. He is pretending he did not grow significantly while your hand cupped his length. You bury your face into the exposed slope of his neck to breathe in his smell. He is spiced and warm, smoke and oil for his blade all in one long curling scent.
He is so still.
You turn your face slightly so your mouths are neighbours. "Please, Ser Garricke. Ease us."
You think he will refuse, but then his eyes close, dark and tender, and then his mouth seeks yours. Within moments, the time it takes to inhale, he is exhaling deeply and loudly into your open mouth, and your insides feel as though they are boiling. Encouraged, you draw your hand up and down his length, listening to him heave throatily.
He says your name, and you squeeze him.
Ser Garrick's whole body is wracked in shudders, and he lifts his hands to clasp your shoulders, tighter â almost painful; delicious â than you ever expect him to be. It is as if a bird of prey has landed on the tops of your shoulders, its pincers grasping your flesh.
He stares at you, although his sight seems vacant, as though drawn into another realm altogether.
"Ser Garricke, that was lovely. I grant you leave. Perhaps I shall need an escort tomorrow eve. I expect that it shall be a long night and I will have my share of drink."
He stares as though he has been grievously injured. Nods dumbly, and wanders sloppily outside your doorway. He turns and continues staring until you close your door in his face.
"Goodnight, Ser Garricke," you smile kindly.
author's note: unfortunately, there is not a wealth of information available for this time period and region that pertained to this story, so I apologize in advance (and ask for corrections, if available) for any glaring errors or inconsistencies.
translations:
gerad can be used as a proxy for chief
woizero can be used as a proxy for my lady
Ężuqabi can be used as a proxy for protector, guardian
another round with the boys | choose-your-141 x reader
this is a choose-your-own-adventure ending with 141. this chapter is introductory. at the bottom of this chapter, you will navigate to the chapter of your choice. each chapter will have its own tags. there will not be a poly 141 chapter.
round 1
At first, you think it's a joke. That it's not actually possible for a group of middle-aged men to be this catastrophically dumb at pub trivia.
When their sheet gets circulated to your table to score, you see that there had been a clear difference of opinions on even the team name.
TF Trivia
Fuckin Muppets
The Price is Right
Suds and All
The Boys
It takes approximately three seconds of scanning the pub to find the The Boys: a table full of clearly military meatheads, wearing civvies.
Your friend is chatting with another table as you score The Boys, following along with the trivia emcee's answers broadcast over the microphone. It's a difficult enough task just deciphering the crazy shorthand used as their responses.
Current events: 4/20
Famous Feuds and Beefs: 2/20
Finish that Lyric: 8/20
Card Games: 12/20
Internet Slang: 6/20
You can hear them arguing across the pub as the answers are announced, the usual I told you, ya fuckin'â and Quit writin' em down before ye're readyâ!
You make a 'yikes' face at your friend, showing her their score to make her laugh, before you walk the sheet back over to The Boys.
The one with bushy facial hair, looks the oldest, glances up at you as you approach their table. "Y'alright?"
"Here you go," you say lightly, trying to ease the sting as four sets of eyes land on their score of 32/100. You cannot prevent the light laugh from tipping out of you at their open-faced shock.
"Ye must be jokin'," a younger one with a mohawk and piercing eyes â Scottish â practically yelps, grabbing the paper from you.
The one next to him, also young and sweet-eyed with curly brown hair, is furiously scanning the page, as if it'll become obvious where you scored them improperly.
The largest of them all is slouched back in his chair, a cranky look on his face, watching you instead of the paper now.
"Maybe Round 2 will be better for you," you say with a grimace of empathy.
"What'd you score then?" The Scottish one demands.
You shrug; your sheet is probably returned, back on your table now. "Um, betterâŚ"
Facial hair barks a laugh. "Come join us then, help us out."
You laugh it off. "Rules are rules. Good luck." And you head back to your table. Sure enough, another table returned your sheet: 92/100. You high-five your friend, and in your periphery, catch sight of the large man staring grumpily in your direction.
--
round 2
You can't help but gaze over to The Boys during this round, fascinated to hear their squabbles and in-fighting before they get shushed by the emcee. You're so distracted, you have to wait to hear the questions repeated for most of the round. Your friend just laughs at you, taking over the role of writer.
"They're really terrible," you whisper to her. "Like they live in a bunker like that movie with Brendan Fraser."
"Encino Man?"
"No, theâŚother one where he's new to society, I guess."
Final question with a special wager. Category: Know Thy Weapon.
The Boys wager the full amount, you can hear them clear as day. Probably the only thing they'd agreed upon thus far.
They cheer obnoxiously loud when the answer is revealed.
Then boo obnoxiously loud when their sheet is scored and returned by another table, and they received a total of 45/100 for Round 2; 20 of 45 was their final wager.
Your team wins; your friend runs up and collects the $50 prize from the emcee, and the other tables clap cheerfully. The Boys glare.
After your friend heads out to grab a waiting rideshare, you ask your server to settle your bill. She tells you it's already been paid for.
"Oh, that's new. Part of the prize or something?"
"No," she chuckles. "Those dummies over there."
You definitely weren't planning to talk to them after their abysmal showing, especially with bragging rights, but courtesy persists. You slip your bag over your chest and walk over to their table slowly until they begin to make eye contact as you get closer.
"Ah, 'ere she is. Shinin' star," facial hair says. "Sit." An empty chair from the neighbouring table, now emptied, is yanked over by his foot. Right by his side.
"Oh, no, no," you demur politely. "I don't want to intrude. Just wanted to say thanks for covering the tab."
He clicks his teeth, his moutache vibrating. "Come on then. One more drink 'fore ya go. Winner's rights."
Your eyes roam to the other three men â nobody seems sulky any longer, no more glares, and as a bonus, the server will keep an eye on you if you get weirded out.
"One drink, I guess."
-
navigate to:
round 3: john
round 3: simon
round 3: kyle
round 3: johnny
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"I'm no sayin' 'm no doin' it cause it's fickle," Johnny slurs as he stumbles into the flat. "'m sayin' i dinnae ken whit for. 'm no gay."
"But you like it," Kyle argues, tripping over his feet a little as he kicks his shoes off. "You love blowjobs. You should know how to give one."
Which is how Simon finds himself spread out on the couch, video game paused, with his best friend and crush kneeling between his legs and stroking him to full hardness. Beside him, Johnny looks focused but skeptical.
"Nae way that fuckin' weapon's goin' doon your throat."
"He's bigger than most, but I can handle it." Kyle presses wet kisses to the head, and Simon bites back a moan. "It's all about angles."
imho its very funny every time someone writes a fucked up or sad story and people, like clockwork, will come to their askbox like "ok buuuuut what if it wasn't fucked up or sad?? what if we just fundamentally change your story completely to suit my fluffier tastes instead??"
Simon never ate ass before Kyle. Pussy, sure. He's always been happy to give a blowjob. But something about Kyle just... makes him crave cake.
Kyle is not into watersports. He will never say anything to the contrary. Will he follow Simon into the shower? Yes. Will he pout if Simon uses the toilet beforehand? Also yes. Is he into piss? No.
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Renshet sends silent curses into the sky as her hands curl into fists. âYou donât - ! Do you know where the kitchens are, at least?â
âTwo of them, yes, relatively, but - â
A ripple in the air tickles the edge of her awareness as he rambles, something that doesnât fit the stillness of the room. Renshet silences the healer with a sharp gesture as something clangs just at the edge of her hearing. Pip jumps at the next crash of metal on stone, much louder, quickly muffled. The pressure in the room changes, suddenly, and Renâs scales ripple with dread. There is an unmistakable sound of heavy boots running, stumbling, someone toppling to the ground with a pained cry and she knows they need to get away, now.
The healer moves, all at once, and she curses when he avoids her grasping hand in his rush back to the open door, back into the hall. She hurries after him, as fast as her feet can carry her, as she feels the invisibility spell strain to keep them both covered. He vanishes from her sight as he runs headlong in the wrong direction. But it only takes a moment for him to appear again, at the edge of the next hall, feet rooted in place, eyes wide.
If sheâd thought the side halls theyâd been sneaking through were ornate, they were nothing compared to this wide and high ceilinged corridor. Itâs large enough to be its own auditorium, wide enough that two carriages could pass with room for someone to avoid being trampled. Skylights shine down on plush rugs, great paintings, sculptures and decorated suits of armor posed with great dignity.
And all of it covered with scorch marks, with bodies, with blood.
âOh no,â Pip whimpers, voice hazy and far away to Renâs ears. He shuffles on his feet toward one fallen body, then another as his eyes dart over everything. âOh gods.â
ghost's been big since he was 13. hit a growth spurt over one summet, growing not only tall but also barrel-chested and broad-shouldered. he remembers the neighbors murmuring to each other, the words 'big lad' and 'bound to cause trouble' usually in tandem. being a man of his size and stature comes with expectations, preconceived notions, a set of unwritten rules about how he's to navigate the world as the living weapon he's perceived to be.
there's a pressure with those expectations- and drawbacks. he's supposed to be the toughest, the roughest, the goliath that can end a hundred davids before they can reach for their slingshots- which deters a lot of trouble in pubs, but it also makes pretty things nervous around him, sliding away and around him with a wide berth like schools of fish around sharks.
-but not kyle. he's by far the prettiest thing simon's ever seen, and he doesn't seem to have gotten the memo that he should stay away. instead, he's constantly in simon's orbit, doesn't scurry away when he's in a foul mood, doesn't give him nicknames like 'big man' with a clap on the shoulder. just treats him like anyone else, and the normalcy of it is surprisingly comforting. relaxing in a way that simon had never ever considered possible.
it's why simon likes ending his day resting his head on gaz's lap, laid out over their massive couch, letting kyle trace idle fingers over his buzzed scalp as they watch taskmaster together, debating how they'd complete the tasks as they laze about. laid out like this, he can forget how much bigger he is than kyle, can feel small and safe and comfortable, his world reduced to the tops of kyle's thighs, finding complete inner peace when he looks up at those honey colored eyes and that soft smile kyle saves just for him when they're alone.
here in their little bubble, simon can be softer. smilier. all the things a big man isn't supposed to be. he's freer with his affection, vocally and physically, in a way that he knows would raise eyebrows.
but not kyle's. never kyle's.
the weight of expectation is nowhere to be found when it's just the two of them-no titles or nothing, just 'sweet'eart' and 'baby'- it's as close to free as he thinks he's ever been.
Simon loves when Kyle wears makeup. He likes it big and bold, jewel tones and sharp angles that emphasize his cheekbones and jawline on stage. He likes it subtle, the slightest sheen that keeps drawing his eyes to Kyle's lips as he talks in interviews. He likes when it's messy, in the middle of a show. Sometimes from rain, sometimes from sweat, often from Johnny rubbing up on him like an excited dog. Simon loves when his mascara streaks with tears.
But there's something captivating about the times when his face is bare. No lights, no audience, just a pile of makeup wipes and a mug of tea.
The tour bus is a such a chaste and strangely intimate space, now, since the kiss that had tilted Simon's world on its axis. He feels too big for his skin, hot and jealous of the soft smiles Kyle gives him in the dark hours before sunrise. He wants to feel the texture of his mouth without the tack of gloss sticking them together, but if he starts, he doesn't know that he'll ever stop.
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i might write a full thing out later, but, like, the brainworms are wriggling and i'm still unsure if it's anything
something something mob au where price suffers a blow to the head on a handoff gone wrong, and while he seems to be cognitively fine in all other ways, there's just one small problem:
he keeps demanding to see his wife- but he's never been married.
he talks about her all the time, tells the boys what she looks like, her name, how they met at a coffee shop she'd worked at- one that's not too far from where he keeps his office. it doesn't take them long to realize he's been harboring something of a crush on the barista at his local coffee place- and a solid thwack to the head with an improvised nightstick has convinced him that the two of you have been together for years.
were price not a) the head of organized crime in the city and b) growing increasingly upset and violent at being kept from his 'wife', they'd just ignore his demands, up his sedatives, and worst case scenario, hire a working girl to put on a wig and play the part for a night. easy peasy, no harm done.
instead, you're snatched up after a closing shift, your car left abandoned with the door half open as you're shoved into a van and given very clear instructions at gunpoint: you will play the role of mrs. price, you will allow him to do and say as he pleases, you will not cause a fuss, run away, or do anything to harm the old man.
you'll be made to play house, to be his perfect housewife under the threat of a bullet to the brain. you're to let him do whatever he likes and pretend it's absolutely fine and normal- groping, smacking, fucking, fingering, all of it. you are his little plaything, given a very specific role to act out. anything less than a completely convincing performance and you'll wind up in the river. or the rose garden. the man in the skull mask is still thinking it over.
it's hard to do anything but agree, especially when all you've been told is that the infamous 'bravo' who runs the 141 gang has asked for you, specifically, despite the fact that you have nothing to do with organized crime. it's terrifying- after all, you're just a barista, worried about picking up enough shifts to pay rent. the most contact with bravo and his gang is reading about the brutal deaths linked to him on the evening news. you couldn't pick him out of a lineup if you tried-
-or so you thought.
your entire world feels like it's caving in on you when you're led to a private room with armed guards at the door, only to see one of your favorite regulars being tended to in an ostentatiously large bed, his eyes lighting up as he bats the doctor's blood pressure cuff away as he reaches out for you as if you're long-lost lovers and not just a barista and the guy who recently switched from americano's to lapsang souchong.
something something it's a terribly confusing thing, after all, to be forced at gunpoint to play wife to someone who actually does make for a very loving and attentive husband- even if he is mafia.
"The magic system is never fully explained" yeah that's how life works. Imagine having a story set in modern day America and the characters have several pages of exposition on combustion engines and telecommunication networks before we get to the plot
i think this is absolutely correct and good writing advice but also victor hugo would like to have a word with you about the parisian sewer system circa 1832