the museum of careless gestures

Imogen gently grabbing Orym's arm, "We should get out of this bubble,"

Laudna vehemently, "I agree,"

Imogen focusing on Orym, who isn't responding, shaking his arm, voice thick, "Orym, we need to get out,"

Orym saying, softly disbelieving, "No, no, no, no, why..."

Imogen telling Orym, "If that happens for real, we're all dead," then letting go of his arm

Orym, softly, "Why? Why did he..."

FCG whispering, "It's his destiny,"

Laudna grabbing Imogen and Chetney and pulling them back with her, leaving Orym and the healers

Ashton didn't spend early episodes full of snide and distrust, then slowly warming up to the Hells, then slowly getting protective over them after Otohan's fight, then being obsessively protective after the party split because they almost lost their loved ones again, then dialing up their heroism to the extreme once they found out about their past because they don't want to be Nobody for once and they have people they don't wanna lose now, for people to say they have no character development.

“I'll go to the central statue and I'll sit and pray and try to open my heart and mind to the Changebringer and say: If you can hear me, it's me, Fresh Cut Grass. Remember me? It's been a while.”-FCG

Campaign 3 Episode 76: A Gathering of Heroes

Bonus:

you're right but words still hurt

i feel like an anime character where the insults stab them in the chest a bunch.

This is the quiz!!

Was he always so hard? Did he always hide his face with the harsh light of the sun? Or was there a time when he smiled and laughed, let others see him as he truly was?

Thinking about the Schism. Was the Dawnfather close to the Betrayer Gods before they turned? He must have been, Asmodeus wouldn’t be so hung up on him if he wasn’t. Speaking of Asmodeus, he was once a being of light, like the Dawnfather and the Everlight are now. Were they closer than the others? When the Gods came to Exandria, did they come from the same place or were they scattered, a ragtag group of survivors fleeing from predators seeking to devour them? And if the latter is true, did these three beings of light come from the same place? Siblings, born from the same stuff, forever tied to one another?

If this was the case, then, what was their relationship before the Schism? Did they call each other “Brother” and “Sister”? Did they hold each other when they were scared, dry each other’s tears, laugh and joke and tease and fight and make up because they were siblings and they’d always be together, and they loved each other with every fiber of their being and they only had each other. When Predathos came, when it devoured two of their newfound siblings, did the Dawnfather hold them both and promise them that everything was going to be okay because he was their brother and he was going to protect them, all of them. The gods, mortals, the world itself, they would not be devoured, they would not be destroyed, because he was there and would fight until his very last breath to keep them safe.

Wondering then, was that the moment when Asmodeus truly grew to hate their creations? Seeing his brother and sister and siblings risk their lives just to protect some mewling mortal wretches when they could just leave it all behind and start somewhere new. Was that the moment when he realized that mortals had done something to them, changed them when they were not supposed to change. Why else would they risk being devoured by Predathos, why else would they suffer through war with the Primordials? Why else would they choose them over him!? Was this the moment when he decided to conspire with the Primordials and the other Betrayer Gods? To destroy this world and the mortals on it so they could finally leave. And they would leave, of course, because the Dawnfather was his brother and the Everlight was his sister and the Gods were a family, and at the end of the day, they would always be together, and once the corrupting influence of those mortals was gone, they would surely all see reason.

And when the Dawnfather discovered this betrayal, when all the Prime Deities did, he must have been furious. How could they!? His kin, his brother, who had always been by his side through everything, how could they turn around and destroy their creations, their children. And so he and the other Primes took up arms and fought against their own family to protect this world they had created, and their children who inhabited it. Those battles must have been brutal, bonds of comradery broken, kin clashing against kin, screaming curses as they tore each other apart.

During those final battles of the Schism, when the Dawnfather clashed against Asmodeus, did they scream at each other in rage? A twisted reflection of previous squabbles, different because this time it was real, this time there is no forgiveness, no making up. When the Dawnfather knocked Asmodeus down, crushed his throat under his foot and banished him to the Hells, was he yelling when he disowned him? Or was he quiet when he did it, his voice going into a low growl, deadly calm as he told him that he was not his brother anymore. And moments previously, when the Dawnfather could have easily killed him, did he look into Asmodeus’s eyes and see his brother? Scared and hurt by his hands, hands that once held him and swore to protect him. In that moment, did the Dawnfather realize he couldn’t kill him? Because that was his brother and despite everything, he still loved him, and hurting him brought him more grief and pain than he could ever imagine. So instead, he banished him, locked him and all the other Betrayers away because he and the other Primes couldn’t bring themselves to kill their family, but they also couldn’t let them free.

Was this when the Dawnfather obscured his face? Hardened his heart because otherwise he would break, and he cannot break, because the other gods need him to be strong, because Exandria needs him to be strong. And so he stayed strong, despite the grief, despite the guilt, despite the pain of heartbreak, of hurting the ones he loved to protect the ones he loved. And this hardening must have continued, running himself ragged during Calamity, beating back Tharizdun, protecting Ioun after she almost died, sheltering the Everlight after Asmodeus once again betrayed her, stabbed her in the back and left her broken and weak when all she wanted was to do was get her brother back, to save him from his own wrath. Failure after failure after failure to protect those he cared about, to protect his siblings and mortals and Exandria itself. The guilt of his failures must be overwhelming, and these are his failures: Predathos devoured his siblings under his watch, his siblings betrayed them under his watch, Calamity ravaged Exandria under his watch, and even now, the threat of Predathos has once again returned under his watch.

In case "both embody and yet still fall outside the boundaries" was insufficiently clear, they do fit, on paper, the qualifications of traditional masculinity, but any reading beyond the most surface level reveals that they are constantly failing to measure up (and are struggling with that).

Hardwon was teased as a child, was dumped, is a virgin well into his 20s, and constantly craves approval and platonic affection; in his appearance in Campaign 3 he is utterly distraught at the death of a friend, retreats into a several year depression and regresses 11 levels, mechanically, as a result. Henry Hogfish is the shortest of the group and is a sad sack divorcee whose son is turned against him. Calder is the baby of his family, cannot make fire, and is the quiet intellectual compared to the more boisterous and melee-oriented Sol and Callie.

Grog is unintelligent (the bounds of traditional masculinity are ever-shifting but also very narrow; being too bookish and being too stupid are both sins), his closest friend is a woman in which he shows no sexual interest, and his arc is entirely about fear and vulnerability. Fjord is physically extremely unimpressive, romantically inexperienced, narratively propelled entirely by his silver tongue (mechanically, even his swordsmanship is dependent not on strength but on charisma), and his authoritative front early on is a cover to a fairly emotionally brittle interior; he also very directly explores the idea of performing an even more traditionally masculine front by putting on the voice and mannerisms of Vandran, believing his own to be insufficient. Chetney is small, weird, old, and has a high voice, wore a dress to a ball without blinking, and is also one of the most emotionally mature characters in the party. All of Travis's characters are united by being incredibly good listeners as well; they can be relied on to actually pay attention to what is being said rather than project their own beliefs back onto the speaker (consider: Grog asking Scanlan his mother's name; Fjord consistently being willing to allow the rest of the Nein to be vulnerable with him without pressing; Chetney being the "weird core" per the most recent 4SD.) Fjord and Chetney have also both unironically, though not necessarily without other motives, flirted with men.

Both Travis and Jake are also some of the players who most embrace failure and will gladly sacrifice dignity for story or for the bit; they will gleefully drop all gravitas and stoicism at the slightest provocation.