As of right now we have 18-23 parts, but those parts take on different identities over time in order to feel like a more complete EP. As a result, while all posts will be tagged with #DF-<name>, it's entirely possible that person may eventually become someone else in the system.
We also want to be an educational blog! If you want to ask us questions about DID/OSDD/our experiences with dissociation, you can drop us an ask!!
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every single person involved in every single angle of the mitsukicourse bullshit is the most exhausting person i've ever encountered and i wish they would all find some special little slap fight corner where they can rant and grandstand and climb up on the cross together and leave everyone else out of it.
This gave me a chuckle.
I wish they'd all either find a corner of the internet to smack each other instead of flooding the tag with vagueposts around one another or just block each other and move on. I hear Sophie block-evades (meaning she won't shut up about you even if you block her, and I'm POSITIVE she's not the only one in that group who does it)- there's this lovely thing called "ignoring people". Better yet, get off Tumblr. Better yet, make a new WHOLE-ASS ACCOUNT and start a new life.
One of them told me this has been going since September 2025.
In that time I've
Gone on 2-3 road trips
Been proposed to
Stopped talking to my own toxic ex-friend who made my life miserable for 4 months straight in order to get my mental health together (spoiler alert, it worked)
Had my building closed AND RE-OPENED due to construction
Graduated with my PhD
A lot of shit can happen in a year. You gotta move on with your life man. We're on this rock for a finite amount of time. No one wants to watch y'all air out your emotional baggage, the least of which is me, who just got here 2-3 months ago and doesn't know (or WANT to know) what's going on.
watching the "mitsukicourse" situation is like watching a bunch of traumatized people continue to traumatize themselves and each other further.
i would not know anything about accusations in any direction if these blogs (all the blogs involved, not just one) didnt start posting and victimizing themselves
didnt this shit happen years ago? move on and stop clogging the syscourse tag. no one cares.
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The only way to force plurality is through self harm
The myth of willogenics is the idea that anyone can become plural just because they want which is not only not true, but rooted in ableist sterotypes
it's very funny to say "this is impossible" and then go "well it'd be self harm" that's implying
that being plural is a form of harm or negative change to one's state
that it is possible but it would be harmful
you can just say "if you tried to force yourself to be plural it would just harm you" but you said "the only way to force plurality", which implies that it IS a thing you can do. like how the only way to bleed is to cut a blood vessel or whatever. vein. thing.
So I was, as recently as yesterday, on the fence about this. I'm a system diagnosed with DID from trauma, before anyone gets uppity.
I was like "I get being endo, saying something other than trauma formed your system, but I don't understand why someone would harm themself to make their own system."
Then I got forwarded this paper: https://pubs.sciepub.com/rpbs/5/2/1/index.html
And then my thoughts changed.
So, to give a very very brief summary of the paper. It surveyed around 60 systems with Tulpas and found that the majority of these systems had been diagnosed with a different disorder (borderline, autism, ocd, anxiety/depression, you name it) and that after diagnosis they focused on creating Tulpas. These Tulpas work as accessibility aids almost, with one Tulpa reported to have been able to help someone with Schizophrenia determine reality from hallucinations. In this manner, it seems almost to me like the next step up from "Internal Family System" therapy. These systems actively focused on creating an alter to help them through their difficult life, and that I can understand. Especially in the case of borderline, which is already a dissociative disorder, I understand the helpfulness in wanting to take those aspects of self and more fully realize them to strengthen communication between those parts.
What I'm still trying to wrap my head around is the 34% of systems who took the survey who reported just making their alters... for fun I guess? And I thought about it the same way as you, where you're cutting off an arm and you're sacrificing a sense of self to create something else, and you're optionally choosing to fracture your psyche, so why the fuck would you do that??
Then it got explained to me like this:
it's less like detaching an arm, and more like a branch of a tree growing off the main trunk. nothing is lost from the original by making a tulpa.
&
also with very very rare exception tulpas don't cause memory separation. at most there's "emotional amnesia" - this memory belongs to headmate A, this one belongs to headmate B, etc.
and that started to make a little more sense to me. But then the conversation switched to the sense of self: we don't know the full extent of the human mind. We, as scientists in the world, have not discovered the 'start' and 'end' of the sense of self. We simply don't know what that is supposed to mean.
And alters aren't really an accident- there's purpose in making one, willo or Tulpa. There's a constant retraining of muscles, remembering that you're remembering someone there until it's automatic.
But I think the common denominator conclusion is... people just want to experience another self, and people don't want to be alone. And I guess that's why Tulpas and Willos exist.
I still firmly believe these types of systems exist and are valid. I think it's just not my place anymore to dictate if what they've done to their minds and sense of self is morally "right" or not. But I certainly don't believe its ableist or playing pretend.
----
As a sidenote, thank you to those in the Syscourse Server who educated me a bit and shared their experiences. It's a very helpful/positive place to learn if you're willing to be respectful to one another.
I think syscourse needs a reminder about what the theory of structural dissociation is actually talking about. As most in in the community don't understand it based on the misinformation that has spread widely.
The theory states that as kids we have action systems. These are any action that achieves a goal. I'm hungry how to I get food, I feel unsafe how can I find safety, ect. When trauma occurs repeatedly at a young age these action system can conflict. Commonly things like in order to be safe I must seek out my caregivers and my caregivers are dangerous I must avoid them. When it comes time for these action systems to integrate if they conflict like this they can fail to integrate which is haow you can get disorders like DID, OSDD, P-DID, BPD and C-PTSD.
Now the theory also discusses integrated functioning in detail. Keep in mind fusion is not what is taking place. Even if they don't develop distinctly from each other they still exist separately from each other and switch between each other in day to day functioning whenever there is a new goal or a new action is required to achieve the goal. That's how you get normal experiences like the work and home self or the fight or flight response. These action systems being integrated means it is easier to integrate new memories into a single experience with most not noting any changes as significant or having an effect on their day to day functioning.
Now action systems are also not stagnant. More can develop any time you encounter a situation where your current action systems do not achieve the goal. These new action systems also have the ability not to integrate due to trauma no matter when they form in life. In those with CDDs these may become alters and in those without CDDs this presents as PTSD. If action systems are already integrated when failed integration of action systems occurs the new action system will not develop as a separate consciousness to the main integrated whole simply instead presenting as a flashback.
DID, OSDD1, PDID, and UDD (unspecified dissociative disorder) are all complex dissociative disorders which lead to a person becoming plural
Dissociative amnesia, depersonalisation / derealization disorder, OSDD 2-4, are dissociative disorders, and do not lead to plurality
UDD is a CDD not mentioned in this comic, it is a diagnosis for when someone doesnāt meet the criteria of other dissociative disorders, and the psychologist is unable or unwilling to specify, commonly used as a temporary diagnosis in emergency situations such as in the emergency room. UDD has replaced DDNOS (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified) which is no longer used.
āThat moment when you realize that you do have to play the part as someone else because you have zero clue how to tell your friends about your plurality and no one here has the courage to say anything.ā
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This is our only tumblr account and so my only place to put my thoughts and I am Opinionated. I know no one will see this or care but I have moral OCD and my brain tells me I need to make my stances clear or else Iām a bad person.
None of this is up for debate either. I am not open to someone trying to change my mind. Iām a grown adult whoās had a lot of experience in the real world and that has shaped my opinions in ways that social media will not affect. If any of this offends you, block me and move on. Tumblr is meant to be a curated experience, after all, and if Iām not a part of your curated experience, thatās totally okay.
Syscourse under the cut
As a DID system myself, Iām not *against* the existence of endogenic systems. Who knows, maybe that is possible, idk, the human brain is so complex and weird that it could be. Plus I donāt see any major harm people identifying as endogenic so long as they recognize the differences between being an endo system and being a dissociative system and respect that.
My biggest gripe with endos is the fact that some of them misuse and appropriate terms meant for trauma survivors. System hopping, for one- that refers to an alter who is able to go in-between subsystems or side systems, only present in complex or poly fragmented DID. It does not refer to an alter who can magically bounce from one body to another body ffs. Also trying to convince others that theyāre also endogenic systems, itās ignorant at best and insidious at worst- youāre not a therapist or psychiatrist or neurologist, do not try to convince someone coming to terms with severe childhood trauma that actually they were born like this. It makes it so much harder to recover and escape ongoing abuse and actively makes excuses for abusers- āit wasnāt that bad, I was born a system, my abuse wasnāt bad enough to cause a dissociative disorderā.
Willogenics, meanwhile, are just despicable to me. Itās one thing to say youāre born with a certain weird brain disorder, itās another to claim you willed it into existence. And so many willogenics also literally make āaltersā for sale or take requests on designing headmates for other people and it actually makes my stomach fucking turn. How dare you. Iām an alter, me and my system have gone through hell, we are people with independence and hopes and dreams and you canāt just fucking design someone to trade and buy and sell as you fucking please. It astonishes me to see people say ātransIDs DNIā but still allow willos to interact because theyāre literally just cosplaying having a disorder, how is that any fucking different??
For the record, I donāt think people should attack each other over this. I understand that other DID/OSDD systems like myself get defensive and upset, with good reason- this is a life-altering, difficult, painful, terrifying disorder caused by significant childhood trauma. However, you shouldnāt go attacking every single endogenic or willogenic system you see. If you see them spreading misinformation or doing harmful things, then call them out, absolutely, but donāt send death threats, donāt send insults, and donāt send equally inaccurate information. Call them out, then block and move on, because if someone is spreading harmful misinformation and rhetoric online, I sincerely doubt anyone will be able to convince them with a single anon telling them theyāre being ableist.
Hi, not going to comment on anything else, but you should probably know -
"System hopping" originally had nothing to do with subsystems or side-systems, that idea was taken by others from a single RAMCOA system who once described how they used the term that way. The term originated as a personal spiritual belief in soulbonding.
The RAMCOA system does not want their post used to police terminology, nor do they want their personal definition weaponised by others.
It's interesting to see the origins of system hopping in the system & plural communities. Thank you for sharing this, 'cause now even we feel better educated.
Unfortunately, it very much can be used as an abuse tactic for pwCDDs, and I believe firmly that it stretched outside of the niche bubble of plurality/soulbounds. It was used against our system at one point as an abuse tactic, with another system claiming things happened to our alters while they were "over there" and things happened to their alters while "over here". It was incredibly harmful for us, and so we try to avoid anyone who talks about system hopping altogether.
I hope the term itself gets returned to the plural community proper. While some people may find benefit over it being used to describe internal system experiences, it really should be kept out of referring to relationships between CDD systems. :(
Yes! It's definitely been used as an abuse tactic, and likely will be used as an abuse tactic in the future, no matter how much the communities try to warn folk about it.
It's really nothing more than a spiritual belief, and like any spiritual belief or experience, there's not going to be any proof to it. Here's a recent big discussion about it, for anyone interested
We don't think that traumagenic systems or those with CDDs should be excluded from it - they can have their own personal spiritual beliefs, like anybody else. But we do think accurate information about what sys-hopping actually is should be readily available to those who need it, especially those who might be more vulnerable ā¤ļø
This is our only tumblr account and so my only place to put my thoughts and I am Opinionated. I know no one will see this or care but I have moral OCD and my brain tells me I need to make my stances clear or else Iām a bad person.
None of this is up for debate either. I am not open to someone trying to change my mind. Iām a grown adult whoās had a lot of experience in the real world and that has shaped my opinions in ways that social media will not affect. If any of this offends you, block me and move on. Tumblr is meant to be a curated experience, after all, and if Iām not a part of your curated experience, thatās totally okay.
Syscourse under the cut
As a DID system myself, Iām not *against* the existence of endogenic systems. Who knows, maybe that is possible, idk, the human brain is so complex and weird that it could be. Plus I donāt see any major harm people identifying as endogenic so long as they recognize the differences between being an endo system and being a dissociative system and respect that.
My biggest gripe with endos is the fact that some of them misuse and appropriate terms meant for trauma survivors. System hopping, for one- that refers to an alter who is able to go in-between subsystems or side systems, only present in complex or poly fragmented DID. It does not refer to an alter who can magically bounce from one body to another body ffs. Also trying to convince others that theyāre also endogenic systems, itās ignorant at best and insidious at worst- youāre not a therapist or psychiatrist or neurologist, do not try to convince someone coming to terms with severe childhood trauma that actually they were born like this. It makes it so much harder to recover and escape ongoing abuse and actively makes excuses for abusers- āit wasnāt that bad, I was born a system, my abuse wasnāt bad enough to cause a dissociative disorderā.
Willogenics, meanwhile, are just despicable to me. Itās one thing to say youāre born with a certain weird brain disorder, itās another to claim you willed it into existence. And so many willogenics also literally make āaltersā for sale or take requests on designing headmates for other people and it actually makes my stomach fucking turn. How dare you. Iām an alter, me and my system have gone through hell, we are people with independence and hopes and dreams and you canāt just fucking design someone to trade and buy and sell as you fucking please. It astonishes me to see people say ātransIDs DNIā but still allow willos to interact because theyāre literally just cosplaying having a disorder, how is that any fucking different??
For the record, I donāt think people should attack each other over this. I understand that other DID/OSDD systems like myself get defensive and upset, with good reason- this is a life-altering, difficult, painful, terrifying disorder caused by significant childhood trauma. However, you shouldnāt go attacking every single endogenic or willogenic system you see. If you see them spreading misinformation or doing harmful things, then call them out, absolutely, but donāt send death threats, donāt send insults, and donāt send equally inaccurate information. Call them out, then block and move on, because if someone is spreading harmful misinformation and rhetoric online, I sincerely doubt anyone will be able to convince them with a single anon telling them theyāre being ableist.
Hi, not going to comment on anything else, but you should probably know -
"System hopping" originally had nothing to do with subsystems or side-systems, that idea was taken by others from a single RAMCOA system who once described how they used the term that way. The term originated as a personal spiritual belief in soulbonding.
The RAMCOA system does not want their post used to police terminology, nor do they want their personal definition weaponised by others.
It's interesting to see the origins of system hopping in the system & plural communities. Thank you for sharing this, 'cause now even we feel better educated.
Unfortunately, it very much can be used as an abuse tactic for pwCDDs, and I believe firmly that it stretched outside of the niche bubble of plurality/soulbounds. It was used against our system at one point as an abuse tactic, with another system claiming things happened to our alters while they were "over there" and things happened to their alters while "over here". It was incredibly harmful for us, and so we try to avoid anyone who talks about system hopping altogether.
I hope the term itself gets returned to the plural community proper. While some people may find benefit over it being used to describe internal system experiences, it really should be kept out of referring to relationships between CDD systems. :(
I would actually go as far as to say that MOST abuse is unintentional. I think most people will go through their lives without ever experiencing intentional abuse. People are abusive because they're selfish, because they're stressed, because they care more about what society thinks they should do than the impacts of their actions on their children and partners, because they think what they're doing is correct, because they've made it make sense in their own heads, because they think they can fix their victims, they think they can fix their relationships, they think they can stop you from leaving, they think they can make you a better partner to them, they think that means you need to do what they want. We've sort of constructed mental illness in a way that doing this shit to other people counts as a form of mental illness because it is anti social behavior in the literal senseā it is behavior that causes social harm.
I don't say any of this to excuse it. I think everyone needs to be more aware of this because if you think abuse has to be intentional you will never realize you are capable of abusive behavior. You will never realize you are being shitty to the people you love, because YOU know what you mean, YOU know you don't mean any harm. But you're doing harm. You need to pay attention to the impact you have on other people, and you need to do it all the time, Especially when you feel least capable of doing so. Sorry! You live in a society. Get your head out of your ass.
when i was younger i loved the blade and the hook and the tear of a tendon. for a long time i was feeding myself on pain alone. it felt like a needlepointed symmetry: internal anguish can be expressed in external injury. everything had to be hard and loud and fast and violent. i drove erratically and had rough sex with the wrong people and made terrible friends and let people feed from my bloodstream. the only way i knew how to handle the rot was with violence, to rip it out of me, to put my body down like a sick dog. in some mental quarry of self-hatred i'd try to blunt-force pickaxe out the misery from my brainstem; as if i could drown what was already underwater. i was perpetually disgusted by my own failure to comply. no matter how many bitemarks or burnt bridges or bloodstains or bruises or bad nights; i was still me. i was still hurting.
so who am i, then, to speak about softness. it's been years since i touched a blade like that, but i still wear the scars in the summer. i know i could get in my car and drive off the face of the map but instead i get in my car and i visit my friends. i could kill myself i suppose but how could i ever explain that absence to my dog, and besides - i haven't been to my own wedding yet.
all i know about softness i learned from the bottom of a sharp pit. there's a younger, hungry version of me, a growling tiger still unsated. every gentle thing is still alien to her. she doesn't understand the concept; it is abhorrent. she thinks it's boring. she thinks it's letting go. she snarls: i made a promise. we would rather burn out than go quiet, remember? i made a promise i would rip all the meaning from this life like a peach pit.
this is the meaning, beloved: today there are cherries waiting for me to eat them. i put my hand on warm moss while on the phone with shannon. i made a new matcha recipe today, and it's quite delicious. tomorrow i'm going to get in my car and instead of screaming or crashing it or disappearing, i am going to go visit my cousin.
in my youth i think i wanted to be loved like a bent needle - under the skin, permanent, an emotional scarification. i have been in the middle of broken glass my whole life. i think i replaced the concept of peace with the numb fear at the edge of a knife.
i know now i can only be loved as far as the sound travels, otherwise it's all just echo. i want to be loved like a purring cat, quiet and gentle. although she's still romanceable, i generally steer clear of blue-winged strife. she sits in the dark corners of my room, pouting, and i teach her how to do the laundry and get to work on time.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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this was meant to have many more panels but it's never getting finished since we're finally out of splitting hell and don't wanna ruminate on it, so here's what we got lol
I've been wondering about the general demographics of my voters (hearts to you all) so I am running general demographic polls. If you prefer not to answer you don't have to.
