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no one:

#it's the visuals for me

+

Parallelisms

I missed you.

"Sand. I'm sorry. Can you please forgive me? I was stupid. But I want you to understand me. I was mad at you because I cared so much about you. You can be angry or hate me all you want. I know now that you want nothing from me. On this Earth, there's no one who's more caring or loving than you. Though I've been nothing but an asshole to you, you are always there for me. Sand, please understand me. Being with me requires some patience. But if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. I get you. No one can put up with me."

Only Friends Episode 9 | Ray being a Troll

the Only Friends kiss circle is complete - Sand kissed Ray, Ray kissed Mew, Mew kissed Top, Top kissed Boston, Boston kissed Nick, and Nick kissed Sand 😵‍💫

THIS SCENE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME

First of all, shout-out to Nick for quietly but assuredly knocking on the door to the stall while Boston and his hookup are making out and then proceeding to give a heartfelt apology and confession, as if the hookup isn’t even there. 95% of people wouldn’t be caught dead even walking into the bathroom, and the other 5% would cause a loud, raging scene. Nick is in his own league.

Also I do feel bad for the hookup for getting interrupted and then having to stand at the back of the bathroom stall during all this. Shoutout to you bro.

Anyways can I just gush and be emotional over this scene? After everything that Nick has done to try and keep Boston by his side, he comes in with this speech to say goodbye, and he gives Boston so many things that he needed to hear.

First of all, this apology was absolutely necessary, as was the “You don’t have to forgive me.” Boston hasn’t gotten a single acknowledgment that what happened to him was messed up. The only apology Nick gave before was when he was begging Boston to stay, and that’s not a real apology, that’s just saying what you think someone wants to hear. While Nick could have gone into more detail about why what he did was wrong, this is still a heartfelt and genuine apology. He’s not apologizing just to make Boston happy with him. He’s not begging for forgiveness. He’s just saying that he’s sorry.

Then there’s this. This is one of the things I love about BostonNick because they do seem so truly happy around each other, even outside the bedroom. And Nick has never said it until now. Boston has gotten closer to saying this than Nick. And Boston probably hasn’t heard this from anyone before.

We know that Boston is used to people only wanting him for sex. We know he was surprised when Nick asked him to help move because he couldn’t comprehend someone wanting a favor from him that wasn’t sexual in nature.

Earlier this episode, Atom compliments Boston’s photography skills, but that conversation was about sex and Atom trying to get into Boston’s pants. Nick has already made it clear that he isn’t asking for anything, and I don’t think Boston is used to people complimenting him without an angle.

But this is the part that Boston needed to hear the most. Because honestly, who doesn’t need to hear this?

“You’re not a bad guy.” Boston especially is constantly villainized by the people around him, when there’s only a few specific things that he has really done wrong. And this statement wouldn’t hit the same coming from anyone else. Because Nick knows everything that Boston has done wrong, and Nick has done some of those same things himself. Nick means it when he says Boston isn’t bad. And this in itself is an apology for things Nick has said before. That Boston is a bad guy, that he deserved what he got for sleeping around.

“Your friends love you for who you are” It’s the way Boston has to steel himself for a moment when Nick says this. Hats off to you, Boston coz I’d be weeping. You are so dedicated to not feeling emotions but Nick has gotten to you.

“Because I love you for who you are.” Honestly do y’all think Boston has ever expected that he would hear these words? Boston is so scared of being known. He tries to wear his confidence on his sleeve, but he is scared of exposure and he is scared of letting people close.

And yet here is Nick, who knows Boston. Who knows that Boston lusts freely and openly, who knows that Boston can be mean with the truth, and that he has the fatal human flaw of desiring companionship. And he loves him. Who doesn’t want that!!

Boston is processing more feelings in this moment than he has in his entire life. The Boston of 8 episodes ago would not care about Nick saying goodbye. The shirt is bang on the nose once again because the old Boston, the pre-Nick Boston would be smiling like nothing mattered. But instead, his walls have crumbled.

I cannot say enough that I love the way this scene closed. That this is what pushes Boston to chase after Nick. The development!!! 😔🤌✨

And then we end with a parallel shot from before the bathroom!! The cinematic poetry is killing me. Nick seeing Boston with someone else and deciding to move on—and then Boston seeing Nick with someone else and realizing that he wants to hold on.

Holy shit! I just can't. Kissing you gives me nothing. Me neither. Nothing sparked at all. This is embarrassing. The idea was so lame. Are you okay? I am. Don't worry about it. It's funny. We're still friends.

I was trying to figure out why this scene had so much power to it and I realized this is the moment Ray figures out Sand’s feelings for him. It is so beautifully written and executed… I have so many thoughts on this:

Firstly, Sand is the one to bring up the elephant in the room that is RayMew. This is not surprising, given Ray’s lack of accountability and avoidance of serious matters.

What IS surprising is Ray’s immediate reaction to this - he completely discredits the seriousness and validity of RayMew’s relationship to Sand:

“… we need to see if it’s gonna work.”

He’s (consciously or unconsciously) trying to reassure Sand that he’s not entirely unavailable - that him and Mew are just “trying things out”. That there’s still room for Sand and this thing between them.