I'm Back On My Bullshit

There was an end of the world drill at school. It was planned, but no one was told about it so we all thought it was the real deal.

The band

This post is a wreckage

Typically happens whenever I submit anything

I was competing in Hell’s Kitchen and wasn’t doing too well. Gordon asked me, “Do you know what you are?” and I told him something so aggressively self-depreciating that it was censored and he just stared at me. He made me stop cooking and pulled me aside but I don’t remember what he told me, just that it was something comforting/encouraging.

Ryan Bergara was a puppet and had just won something (probably a special episode of Puppet History) and his prize was 10,000 bags of tea, which poured on top of him from the ceiling. And then the dream reported an Overflow Error and crashed.

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

Bucket.

If you think about it, Shakespeare pioneered the genre of real-person fiction, paving the way for works such as Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. Therefore, Shakespeare is directly responsible for Miku binder Thomas Jefferson. In this essay, I will

Tumblr used to be a physical place. It was a large theater built inside of a cliff. The cliff was by a stormy seaside town where all of life began. One night, there was a hurricane, and the Tumblr theater collapsed. This unleashed the Tumblr people upon the town, and thus began the world.

so. the old complex victory algorithm machine is sitting in a dumpster unsupervised with the hologram box .. that doesn’t sound like a recipe for disaster at all