[ I'LL FALL INTO YOUR ARMS ]

> 16 OF 16 REMAIN. <

Hi! So, you may have noticed that I made a whole announcement about after having lost my way writing CYAH and promising to rework the story, I basically disappeared off the face of the planet for the next year on the majority of my social media. I’m really sorry! Part of this was touching grass. Part of this was getting into MKGRP but we don’t need to talk about that. Mostly I wanted to address the fact that another year has come and gone, and I… am still nowhere near where I want to be with CYAH.

ASLH, the fangan that I’d written previously, was a work that influenced a lot of people, and I’m eternally thankful for all of the feedback and the people I’ve met through working on that story. That being said, its success is in large part influencing the way that I think about CYAH. Because I wanted to outdo myself, and because I’ve gotten older and better at writing and drawing, I went into CYAH with a feeling of wanting the story to be “worthy” of everything I’ve done up to this point. I came to it at least partially with the intent of making something greater to or equal than ASLH in terms of messages and meaning, while also not having a clear idea of what those would be. I also hadn’t really planned enough in the hopes of recreating that magic spontaneity that led to some really impactful lategame writing decisions, which is something I’ve mentioned in the past.

This all has contributed to me being unable to face CYAH, or ASLH for that matter - in the past two years, I’ve stopped being able to actually enjoy any of my writing or stories without wanting to tear it all out and rewrite it. Which! Sucks. And is part of a greater pattern in my life that I am currently attempting to unpack. I think something I need to remember is that ASLH is a story I wrote as a high schooler for myself, and that I don’t need it to be anything else. That CYAH should be something I work on for my present self, and that it really doesn’t need to be anything deeper than what I would like to read and tell people about. Also, lovingly, recognition is the devil.

So! Basically, I still don’t intend to abandon CYAH. It may take me some time to love it again, but I know I will get there eventually and in my own time. I don’t EXPECT any progress on it, however, so I can’t give you a time frame. I’ve been telling myself that I expect progress for the past year and a half, and really all it’s done is stress me out and make me worry even more about putting out a better story. So I want to take my time and not pressure myself. I don’t ask anything of you, and to be clear, I don’t expect anyone to wait for me, since I have no idea how long it’ll take. But mark my words, I will get it done.