Away and Onwards (private)
After Johnny leaves I feel nauseous.
I put away the dishes and start cleaning the kitchen like an automaton, revisiting every bit of the conversation in my head. Was I really that bad of a friend for letting Amanda come here and tell me how she felt? Will I be forced to choose between my friends instead of keeping all of them? Are we back in high school?
After an hour of frantic cleaning, I realize it doesnāt matter what I choose. Johnny has left, maybe forever, and Iāve learnt a lesson about letting old friends come back and take over my life again. What was I thinking, coming back to Los Angeles? Iāve had more drama in my life this past year than in all the previous fifty. I deserve a break, for Godās sake! A break from being always there: the friend, the mom, the doctor... always caring about other people. But who cares for me?
Suddenly I hear a noise behind me, I didnāt notice Pablo had arrived. He looks mildly scared when he sees me like this: wearing an apron and rubber gloves, and scrubbing every surface in this kitchen as if the plague was upon us.
āAli? What happened? Are you all right?ā
āIām fineā, I say in a really tired voice. āI just... Pablo, I need to get out of here.ā
āI can make reservations for dinner at Sushi Noteā, he says, his voice as warm and caring as always.
āNoā, I answer, shaking my head. āNot out to dinner... out of the Valley. I need to get away from the work, the people... everything. I have a yearās worth of vacation days waiting to be spent, and I donāt want to see Los Angeles again until Iāve forgotten what it looks like!ā
Pablo is silent for a few seconds, and I fear this is the time heāll pack up his things and leave. He must think Iām crazy!
āSo... how does Hawaii sound for your long vacation?ā
I laugh. It sounds great... and impossible.
āCan you magically transport us there?ā I say, trying to keep up with the joke. But the answer I get is not what I expected at all.Ā
He walks up to me, kisses me, and holds my hands in his.
āMy brother owns a house in Hawaii, and itās empty most of the year. Iāll get the plane tickets while you start packing... we can be there tonight, having dinner on the beach.ā
Another kiss, and I look up, thanking [insert deity of choice] for sending me Pablo. What did I do to deserve this man?
Two hours later, after I pack two suitcases, write an email to the hospital, and make a short phone call to both my children (Pam freaked out, as expected, but Jason was chill as a cucumber), weāre on a taxi to the airport. And seven hours later, our feet touch the sand of a lovely golden beach in Kauai.
Goodbye, drama. Good riddance, Los Angeles... at least until next month.