How can you not be romantic about hockey

Boston Fleet: Atelopus spumarius—very cool, green, every photo makes them look like they’re about to fuck you up which is very Boston Fleet to me, big beautiful brown eyes like cap

PWHL Detroit: Ameerega picta—it has racing stripes and taillights, what more is there to say

PWHL Hamilton: Oophaga pumilio—they can fight, they are very involved parents (hello, Captain Dad), they come in about a million different morphs but are all the same species of frog (much like how PWHL Hamilton is like Ottawa Charge Roster 2.0)

PWHL Las Vegas: this particular morph of Oophaga pumilio—right colors, plus I just really like this species of frog. they’re teeny and the most common morph looks like spider-man or perhaps someone wearing jeans. and this one is just pretty :)

Minnesota Frost: Atelopus barbotini—basically like the only type of frog that comes in purple besides the Purple Frog, and I felt like the Purple Frog would be too mean 🥲 but these guys look very cool

Montréal Victoire: Epipedobates anthonyi—produces a nicotine-like toxin that is incredibly strong (ref. MPP and her celebratory cigars), they give the babies piggyback rides, and also I think it’s cool that they look like a toaster streudel (unrelated to the Victoire, I just think it’s neat). also I think Abby Roque would like the “incredibly strong toxin” part due to her criminal ways

Ottawa Charge: Ranitomeya uakarii—right colors, looks cool, and they’re very shy until it’s time to meet up with the gang for mating season, which is reminiscent of whatever the fuck is up with Ottawa and their love for winning in OT, specifically. also I feel like if Gwyn could coat her stick in poison frog secretions as an extra method of goalie defense, she would

New York Sirens: Ranitomeya uakarii—as aforementioned they look cool and they’re shy until it’s go time, which is also very reminiscent of my beloved terrible “only remembers how to play hockey in the third period” criminal Sirens. and they’re poisonous which I feel many members of the Sirens would find pleasing due to their propensity for crimes

PWHL San Jose: Oophaga granulifera—the right colors, very teeny tiny, reminiscent of other more frequently encountered species (much like the San Jose Sirens who are like 50% Sirens by volume and also nabbed a pretty much identical color scheme)

Seattle Torrent: Dendrobates auratus—beautiful shade of teal, looks cool on paper, but they are poisonous and sometimes they look maybe a little bit cursed, which is much like the experience of watching Seattle hockey 😔

Toronto Sceptres: Dendrobates tinctorius—team colors, cool vibe, very tenacious (and I would say small and poisonous if you fuck with them like Emma Maltais but she’s on the Victoire now 😔)

Vancouver Goldeneyes: Phyllobates vittatus—they’re communal and very good at climbing, which is what like 95% of Vancouver’s roster has been doing lately