Eve

I know what it means to stand still with the kind of pain that makes you think you could be dying oh how I wish I was actually dying, watching your brain break every glass case of comforting happy memories and holding the broken shards of it all until your hand are weeping blood just trying to remember it correctly feel the way i felt but its all broken now, the little bits of glass and a life that you thought would never go away stuck in your palms no great fate is written there.

So you keep walking but its sits with you, a pit of needles in your stomach, some yarn is choking my heart strings trying to remember her laugh, her jokes, her opinions and passions and her soul and I fear I will bleed out every bit of you if I don't keep trying to remember but I'll keep trying to stitch myself up for you even when I'd rather just lay here, not moving, nowhere to be, nothing to be.

I know how it feels to live with the reek of death smeared over loving memories that used to make me proud and honored to know you, to be a part in your life and I don't want a life here without you, everyone expects me to be normal, palateable, tolerable, one stupid fucking foot in front of the other, empty words to thank the im sorry for your loss uncomfortable interjections reminding me how I lost you, how lost I am without my bestfriend.

They always need me to always consider them in their condolences, comfort them but could never do the same for me but its alright, I left my soul in that spot with you Margie and I don't think I can go back to retrieve it, doesnt feel right so I guess it can only stay with you, so you will never get cold and always have someone to call when you're lonely