dwayne johnson, paper, scissors

I’m drunk so this one took me a minute But I got it

buying a bottle of “half-assed rimjob” this season

tag yourself i’m bathroom grout

Date someone you can have rough sex and deep conversations with whether it is at 2am or 2pm.

Me if you use those fingers correctly.

omg I almost spit out the water I was drinking 

a million gallons of fun

on a scale of 1 to GM on trade deadline day, how bad are your decisions.

hugging me from behind and kissing my neck at the same time is a good way to melt my heart

i want ovechkin to run this league. he’s the perfect mixture of giving a fuck about his sport and not taking himself too seriously to get shit done

They have warned their fellow students that the ground is lava to prevent any injuries I think that is very mature of them