Got No Socks On

if u think im cute send me money 

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

british wizards be like, “omg hogwarts is the best wizarding school in the world” oh really? well beauxbatons didn’t have lord fucking voldemort on campus every other year

life hack

The idea that Mike wazowski wouldn’t scare kids bc he’s like not traditionally scary is such bs??? like if I woke up and there was a fucking green shortass with one gigantic eye in my room staring at me I’d lose my shit Like there r grown ppl who get nervous when they hear a sound in the night and these monsters think kids won’t be scared by funsize cyclops shrek creepin in their closet get outta here cmon

when we were kids my brother used to be scared that the radiator would turn into a goat. he wasn’t afraid of goats, he was just afraid of the heater being one.

no offense but like… why are people obsessed with king kong and godzilla

Big

Loud

Handsome