Wait how do I do this tumblr thing

so if you suddenly went back in time 50 years ago, 300 years ago, or more, whatever, the chances of the Earth being in the same exact position is very slim, and if you traveled back in time you might find yourself instead in the vacuum of space because not only does the Earth move, but the Solar System and the Milky Way galaxy moves.

where we are today is different than where we were yesterday or 3 months ago

The earliest human artifacts found in Iceland are Roman coins from the 3rd century but we can’t rule out that they were brought later by the Vikings. 

The earliest confirmed presence of humans on Iceland is the ruins of a cabin that was carbon dated to 770-880. This was either a very early Viking settlement or it possibly belonged to the Papar, a group of Irish monks believed to have lived in Iceland before the Vikings came, who decided that the Scottish islands were not isolated, cold, rainy and miserable enough for them and so they established hermitages in Iceland.

The Viking records indicate that the Papar may have lived there before the Norse arrived but abandoned it either before their arrival or soon after, deciding they didn’t want to share the island with the Norse. Of course, we have not found any other archaeological evidence that they existed and have only the Norse records to go on. 

It is also entirely possible the Vikings showed up and did what Vikings do and then wrote down “Oh, the monks totally left right before we got here, and look they left behind all their nice books and jewellery! Lucky us!”

Listen up you fucks because I’m not wasting thousands of dollars on an art degree to watch y’all fuck up basic color theory.

Red, yellow, and blue are the primary colors

If you’re using p i g m e n t.

Do you hear me? When you’re using traditional media, fucking actual goddamn paint, Bob Ross style, your primary colors are!

When you use paint, your primary colors are red yellow and blue and don’t forget it.

NOW THAT CHANGES COMPLETELY WHEN YOU GO FUCKING DIGITAL.

THE DIGITAL PRIMARY COLORS ARE RED BLUE AND GREEN IF AND ONLY IF YOUR WORK IS GOING TO STAY DIGITAL, ON THE SCREEN, AND NEVER LEAVE THE SCREEN, AND OF COURSE IF YOUR WORK IS GOING TO BE PRINTED. ON A PRINTER. WITH INK. THEN. AND O N L Y  T H E N.

ARE YOUR PRIMARY COLORS.

CYAN. 

MAGENTA.

AND YELLOW.

So say it with me folks!

Red yellow and blue, are the primary colors for traditional pigment that’s mostly used in paints and shit. You use red yellow and blue when you’re painting traditionally, Bob Ross style. 

Red blue and green is light, which is what you’re painting with when you pick up your tablet and go digital.

CMYK is ink, and ink only. You could use cyan, magenta, and yellow as your primary colors in paint if you wanted to be a complete dick, but they’re not your primary colors unless your work is going to be printed using. i n k. The only time they could be considered the primary colors in a traditional medium is if you’re using ink.

Is my icon. I painted this using RED. GREEN. AND BLUE. AS MY PRIMARY COLORS and they turned out fine. Of course, I used the finger smudge tool first and then the color mixing tool and then the blur tool, but hey what do I know.

Clearly using the blur tool only doesn’t cut it.

“Oh but Leo!” You say. “You used cyan and magenta in that color wheel!”

Well bitch guess what.

this is the digital color wheel. I’d say I mimicked that pretty well, don’t you think?

Oh and one other thing, notice how Blue and Yellow are directly opposite each other on this color wheel? That’s because we’re dealing with light, and with light, yellow and blue are complimentary colors.

Which is why when you mix them, it looks like this:

Which is a pretty neutral gray tone: They cancel each other out on the rgb color wheel when you mix them together.

BUT WITH PIGMENT THE PLACEMENT IS DIFFERENT

If you’ll notice, yellow and violet are now opposite each other, meaning they’re complimentary colors and if you mix  them, they’ll make a neutral gray.

But if you mix yellow and blue, same colors as before, YOU GET THIS:

Now keep in mind that the person in the video uses a darker blue, so they get a darker green, but the point is that it doesn’t make that neutral gray.

Now what happens when we mix yellow and violet paint?

Ah yes, you get a bunch of muted colors the more evenly you mix them.

What happens when you mix yellow light and purple light?

The reason the primary colors for light are so dramatically different from the primary colors for paint and ink is because your eye only receives combinations of red light, blue light, and green light. Our eyes do not have a sensor (cone cell) for yellow light. So when we paint with light, red green and blue are our primary colors. Because of our eyes.

Furthermore, paint primary colors are colors that cannot be created by mixing other colors together. For paint, they are red yellow and blue, because you cannot mix orange and green to get yellow. Mixing orange and purple paint does not make red. And mixing green and purple paint does not make blue.

Mixing blue and green paints will make cyan. Mixing red and blue paints will make magenta.

That’s why cyan and magenta aren’t primary paint colors.

However, you can’t mix yellow and blue ink and get cyan. You can’t mix red and blue ink to get magenta.

And that’s why cyan and magenta are the primary ink colors.

Brighter and stronger paints are created through tints and shades, through a thorough understanding of color theory and a few quality paint recipes. Not by bullshit posts on tumblr designed to mislead you.

So to elaborate on why RYB is the primary color set for paint but RGB is the primary color set of actual light, it boils down to how light behaves and how our eyes interpret colors. We see colors because, as was stated, we have sensors in our eyes tuned to the red, blue and green wavelengths of light. When light enters our eyes, these sensors send signals to our brain telling us the relative intensity of each wavelength, and the brain interprets this as colors. Red, Blue and Green are considered additive color, because different colors are achieved by adding different amounts of red, green and blue, while white light is achieved by adding the three together. Thus, when your eye detects equal amounts of red, green and blue light, you see the color white.

However, if you’ve ever painted anything you’ll know that mixing red, green and blue generally gives you a dark muddy brown or black color, not white. Why is this? Because there is a difference between the way light interacts with your eyes and how it interacts with pigments on the page. When light hits a pigment on the page, some of the wavelengths are absorbed, and others are reflected. Red, for example, absorbs all wavelengths except red, which is then reflected away. So looking at something that is red means that it actually absorbs all other colors of light except for red, which your eye detects. This is called subtractive color, where different colors are made by absorbing (or subtracting) different wavelengths. So, mixing red and blue, for example, which absorbed everything but red and everything but blue, respectively, when mixed will give us something that absorbs some red, and some blue, but reflects the rest, while absorbing all of the green. 

The difference between additive and subtractive color boils down to whether you are getting colors by emitting light directly into our eyes, like on a computer screen, or absorbing and reflecting light, like with ink or paint.

The reason Cyan, Magenta and Yellow are used nowadays has to do with the fact that color theory as a science evolved after Red, Blue and Yellow were considered to be the primary colors. That was an idea that predated modern color theory, and was developed around the 18th-19th century. (Some painters actually at times considered there to be four primary colors, red, blue, yellow and green.) The CMYK system (Cyan, Magenta, Yellow and “Key” [black]) evolved from a better understanding of how light and colors behave. Cyan is a complementary color to red as was mentioned above, meaning that it absorbs ALL red light that hits it, unlike other colors which will absorb at best most but not all red light. So cyan can be used to control how much red reflects off the page towards our eyes. Magenta is similarly the complement of green, and yellow the complement of blue. Printers realized that by moving from RBY to CMY they would be able to produce a much wider range of colors with better control, by considering not what colors their ink will add, but based on what colors of light their ink will subtract from white light.

Now something that I discovered a while ago that I find fascinating has to do with how our brains interpret color and the nature of visible light.

This is the visible spectrum of light. Note that unlike color wheels, the colors don’t loop back around. You have blue at one end (ok, indigo, whatever) and red at the other, and green in the middle. Because light is a spectrum, you can have very slight gradations of color determined by the wavelength of light. However, your eyes only have red, blue and green sensors. So what your brain does is it looks at things like “ok, red is firing, but none of the other sensors, so that must be red”. Our sensors, however, are not ENTIRELY unable to detect other colors, its just that different wavelengths don’t cause as strong of a reaction from the sensors. So when the brain detects “some green is firing but so is some red, but neither a huge amount, so that must be some shade of yellow.” Thus our brains detects yellow light, which is a wavelength between red and green, by seeing that both red and green sensors are being tripped, but neither of them as much as pure red or pure green would.

Although we call the language spoken by the Anglo-Saxons Old English, English speakers today won’t find much in common between it and the language we have now. More than 1000 years ago, English was still being written using long-abandoned letters like þ (known as “thorn”), ƿ (“wynn”) and ð (eth or thæt). It had a different phonology and a much more complex grammatical structure than we have today that relied on a complicated series of word endings and inflections to convey meaning rather than a predictable syntactic word order.

Old English also had a rich array of inventive and intriguing words, many of which have either long since dropped out of use or were replaced by their continental equivalents after the Norman Conquest of England, and so would be all but unrecognisable to modern English speakers—which is a shame, given just how imaginative the Old English vocabulary could be. Here are the origins and meanings of 20 fantastic, long-forgotten Anglo-Saxonisms.

1. ATTERCOPPE

First recorded in a medical textbook dating from the 11th century, attercoppe was the Old English word for a spider; it literally means “poison head.” The word remained in use in English right through to the 1600s, but only survives today as attercop or attercap in a handful of British English dialects.

2. BREÓST-HORD

Breóst-hord literally means “breast-treasure,” and was used in Old English literature to refer to what we might call the heart, the mind, or the soul today—namely, a person’s inner workings and feelings.

3. CANDELTREOW

Old English had the word candelstæf for what we’d call a candlestick today, but it also had the word candeltreow—literally a “candle-tree”—for a candelabra, or a candlestick with more than one branch.

4. CUMFEORM

Cuma (a “comer”) meant a houseguest, a visitor, or a stranger in Old English, while feorm referred to food or supplies and provisions for a journey. Cumfeorm, ultimately, is “stranger-supplies”—another word for hospitality, or for entertaining strangers.

5. EALDOR-BANA

Ealdor or aldor is related to the modern English word elder and was used in Old English to mean either an ancestor or superior, or a life or lifespan in general. A bana meanwhile was a killer or a destroyer, or a weapon that had been used to cause a death—so an ealdor-bana, literally a “life-destroyer,” was a murderer or something with fatal or murderous consequences.

6. EARSLING

No, not another name for a ear bandage. Earsling actually brings together the Old English equivalent of “arse,” ears or ærs, and the suffix –ling, which is related to the –long of words likelivelong, headlong and endlong. It ultimately means “in the direction of your arse”—or, in other words, backwards. Just like attercop, happily arseling also still survives in a handful of English dialects.

7. EAXL-GESTEALLA

Eaxle was the Old English word for your shoulder or armpit (which is still sometimes called youroxter), or for the humerus bone of the upper arm. An eaxl-gestealle is literally a “shoulder-friend”—in other words, your closest and dearest friend or companion.

8. EORÞÆPPLA

Cucumbers were “earth-apples”—eorþæppla—in Old English.

9.

FRUMBYRDLING

As far as words that should have never left the language go, frumbyrdling is right up there at the top of the list: it’s an 11th century word for a young boy growing in his first beard.

10. GESIBSUMNES

Gesibsumnes (the ge– is roughly pronounced like “yeah”) literally means something along the lines of “collective peacefulness.” It referred to the general feeling of friendship, companionship, or closeness between siblings or members of the same family.

11. GLÉO-DREÁM

Dreám meant “joy” or “pleasure” in Old English (so not “dream,” which was swefen). Gléo-dreámliterally means “glee-joy,” but it specifically referred to the feeling of pleasure that comes from listening to music. The sound of a musical instrument, incidentally, was sometimes called orgel-dreám (literally “pride-pleasure”), while the art of ability to play an instrument was dreámcræft.

12. HLEAHTOR-SMIÞ

This “laughter-smith” is someone who makes you laugh.

13. HLEÓW-FEÐER

Hleów-feðer means “shelter-feather,” but is used figuratively in some Old English literature to refer to a protecting arm put around someone.

14. INSTICCE

It’s not entirely clear what the Old English insticce, or “inside-stitch,” actually referred to, but if not meant to describe a painful “stitch” caused by physical exertion, it probably meant a general prickling or tingling sensation—what we’d now call pins and needles.

15. LÁRÞÉOW

Lárþéow—which later became lorthew before it disappeared from the language in the mid-13th century—was an Old English word for a schoolteacher. It literally means “teaching-slave.”

16. MEOLCLIÐE

Meolcliðe, meaning “milk-soft,” was used to describe anything or anyone exceptionally gentle or mild-tempered.

17. ON-CÝÐIG

On-cýðig literally means “un-known,” but that’s not to say that it meant the same as “unknown.” Although its exact meaning is debatable, it’s thought on-cýðig referred to the despondent feeling caused by missing something that is no longer close at hand—in other words, the feeling of “knowing” about something or someone, and then either having to leave it behind, or having it taken from you.

18. SÆFLOD

The “sea-flood” was the incoming tide in Old English.

19. SELFÆTA

A “self-eater” was a cannibal—or, by extension, an animal that preyed on other animals of the same species.

20. UNWEDER

[below, Jerrie Cobb photographed during testing]

They are collectively known as the Mercury 13, there’s a great blog entry about them here and a brilliant PBS documentary too.

Their names are Myrtle Cagle, Jerrie Cobb, Janet Dietrich, Marion Dietrich, Wally Funk, Sarah Gorelick, Jane “Janey” Hart, Jean Hixson, Rhea Hurrle, Gene Nora Stumbough, Irene Leverton, Jerri Sloan and Bernice Steadman. They should be remembered and celebrated for their role in the history of space exploration.

It wasn’t until 2 decades later that Sally Ride became the first woman in space in 1983.

7 of the surviving members of the Mercury 13 are pictured below, 33 years later in 1995.

Rep. Jones, Walter B., Jr. [R-NC-3] Rep. Biggs, Andy [R-AZ-5] Rep. Smith, Jason [R-MO-8] Rep. Massie, Thomas [R-KY-4] Rep. Duncan, John J., Jr. [R-TN-2] Rep. Gaetz, Matt [R-FL-1]

Rep. Biggs, Andy [R-AZ-5]:  202-225-2635 

Rep. Smith, Jason [R-MO-8]:  202-225-4404 

Rep. Massie, Thomas [R-KY-4]:  202-225-3465

Rep. Duncan, John J., Jr. [R-TN-2]:  202-225-5435

However, I want everyone to understand the history and context of this bill.

This bill is not the first legislation of its kind to be introduced. It isn’t the second. Hell, it isn’t even the tenth. Ron Paul introduced the first “American Sovereignty Restoration Act” in 1997. That was 20 years ago. And a similar bill has been introduced every single year to every new Congressional Session.

From the wikipedia page on United States withdrawal from the United Nations

The bill was met with minimal support. Further legislation has been suggested, although none has been organized in the form of a comprehensive bill. H.R.1146 was reintroduced in every Congressional Session by Rep. Paul from 1997 through 2011. Ron Paul retired from the House of Representatives at the start of the 2013-2014 session. At that time, the reintroduction of H.R.1146 was taken up by other representatives: in 2013 by Rep. Paul Broun of Georgia, under the designation H.R.75, and in 2015 by Rep. Mike Rogers of Alabama, under the designation H.R.1205. In each of these cases, the bill was met with minimal support, and referred to committee with no further action taken. Most recently, in 2017 a similar piece of legislation was introduced by Rep. Rogers, under the designation H.R.193.

Basically, this is some GOP representatives’ pet idea that they try to get passed every single year and get basically no support for. It is a symbolic gesture at best at this point.

First, the statistics. As Mark Twain liked to say, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.” Statistics are almost always not telling you the whole story, and at times misrepresenting things entirely. It doesn’t help that most of the people who use statistics are not really statisticians. (Myself included, I am not going to claim expertise in the field, but I know enough to know how little I know and how badly it is often misused and misunderstood.)

In Nunavut, the territory that is darkest on the map above, there are actually only 37,000 people (according to wikipedia). The map shows the murder rate per 100,000. Thus, if there is a single murder in Nunavut, it is going to count three times as much as a murder in a more populated state/province/territory. This can cause the statistics to be skewed a bit, as you are dealing with a sample size below your benchmark size, and extrapolating based on small sample sizes can result in exaggerated stats. As a (rather poor, admittedly) example, if you had a room full of 100 people and 1 person was murdered, the murder rate on the map would be 1000 people per 100,000, but in reality there was only one murder. So it could be that the way in which the statistics are presented on the map makes it seem worse than it is.

As an added problem, the map actually doesn’t convey the information it is trying to convey in a complete way. A rate is how often something happens over time. The map above tells us the rate of murders per 100,000 population, but it doesn’t tell us what time interval it is looking at. A year? A decade? A month? This could have a big impact on the statistics, as again, if you are using a small sample size (or in this case potentially looking at a short period of time) outlying results can skew the data. It could be that there was a particularly bad year that is being represented. Without any actual indication about the time frame looked at, we can’t say one way or the other. (Also, it means that this map fails to convey the information it purports to represent, and that is one of my pet peeves. It is like saying “My speed was 10 km″. 10 km per what? 10 km/hour? 10 km/minute? 10km/second? 10 km/year? There is a big difference between all of those. Using incomplete units makes me sad.)

All the statistics aside, there are also some real demographic and cultural issues that make Nunavut suffer from more violent crime. Nunavut does have a problem, I am not trying to deny that, but I also want to warn people that maps and statistics can be misleading.

To understand the issues in Nunavut you need to look at the way Canada has treated its aboriginal peoples in general, as well as the Inuit specifically. Canada has a sordid history that is only now beginning to be recognized by the government when it comes to their treatment of the aboriginal peoples of Canada. Canada for a long time considered what the called “The Indian Problem” (or “The Eskimo Problem” in reference to the Inuit specifically) to be a burden on their nation. The “Indian Problem” as they saw it was the fact that there were aboriginal peoples at all, and that the Canadian government was obligated to tend to their needs by virtue of the fact that they lived within the borders of the relatively recently formed nation of Canada. The fact that aboriginal peoples had very different customs, beliefs and cultural practices made plenty of European-descended Canadians uncomfortable, and they saw them as alien. The solution, in their minds, was to convert every aboriginal person into a “Canadian” by forcing them to adopt the dominant white european christian culture. By doing this, they hoped that there would be no “Indians” anymore asking for what some in the government saw as special treatment and they could treat them just like any other Canadian. 

In order to bring about this conversion, Canada forced aboriginal children to attend residential schools. These schools separated children from their parents, their families, their tribes and their culture. The children were expected to dress like “Canadians”, learn about “Canadian” history, culture, beliefs and ideas, and once they graduated they would be “proper Canadians”. This idea was flawed both in concept and in execution. In concept, this has been equated to cultural genocide, as Canada sought to erase aboriginal cultural identities, affiliations, languages and beliefs. In execution, the government couldn’t even run things they way they thought was right. Because of the cost of the schools, the government didn’t want to pay to run them, so they turned them over to private organizations, mostly religious organizations. The staff the churches and other organizations hired were not trained teachers, and were more concerned with the “spiritual salvation” of the children than their education or even their general wellbeing. The organizations were constantly trying to cut costs, and they had very little oversight. The results were brutal. Students were beaten if they misbehaved, which included speaking their native languages, or engaging in any sort of behavior that was seen as “Indian”. Their names were replaced with “Canadian” names. They didn’t even receive the education they were promised, as lots of residential schools essentially used the children as forced labor to produce goods that the school would sell to boost their budgets. Not that the children ever saw the benefits of this. They were constantly malnourished and unhealthy, as they were given the cheapest food possible to keep costs low, or even only fed irregularly. Meanwhile, the teachers were well-fed on good food. Then there was also the fact that abuse was rampant. Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse was very common as the schools had basically no oversight. Mortality rates at the schools were between 30% and 60%, and as a teacher, the fact that the schools even had a mortality rate is incredibly upsetting.

Of course, the students who survived eventually left the schools. And this is where we start to see the effects on violent crime. Survivors of the residential school system frequently suffered from severe PTSD, depression, anxiety or other conditions. Suicide rates among survivors were high. A sad result of this was the fact that with their treatment in the schools and the lack of support outside of them, many of the survivors ended up perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Studies have shown that children who survived corporal punishment and abuse are more likely to engage in that sort of behavior as adults. The last residential school was closed in 1996, and as a result, there are multiple generations of first nations people who suffer from the physical, emotional and cultural scars of the residential school system. This can be seen almost as a wound on the spirit or culture of the entire people, as even if an aboriginal person has not experienced the effects of the residential schools themselves, they almost certainly felt the aftereffects on their lives and their communities. In such an environment, sometimes there are people who resort to violence to solve their problems, not knowing any other way to address them. The lack of health care, especially mental health care, among aboriginal communities certainly exacerbate the problem.

There are more issues that affect the violent crime rates as well. The Inuit people were traditionally nomadic, migrating along the coasts, following seasonal game. The Canadian government didn’t like this, as it made administering the territory difficult. Canadians forcibly relocated several villages to a more permanent location, but did not bother to ensure that the location was suitable for the Inuit people to live there. The Canadian government eventually established a number of permanent administrative centers in the region, and the Inuit eventually migrated to live in these permanent habitations, with the access to education, health care and economic opportunities drawing many, though there were still some who were forcibly relocated. Within two generations the self-sufficient Inuit people had almost completely changed into a sedentary people, however, their lack of what were considered marketable skills in the Canadian economy resulted in rampant poverty. Increasing numbers of Inuit ended up relying on the government to survive.

Another problem in Nunavut is alcohol. Nunavut is the only province or territory in Canada that still has prohibition, and as history has shown us, prohibition does nothing to prevent alcohol use other than making it more clandestine. An estimated 95% of crimes are alcohol related, and it is believed that it contributes to the violent crime rate. They’ve recently moved towards legalization, but I don’t know when the map was made.

we asked the question “What are Anders’ eyebrows doing” in this post, and you guys have came through.

and my personal favorite

Idk if this counts as a peeve more of an art-astronomy pet peeve

but when people draw the cresent moon and where the dark, shaddowed part of the moon is they put in stars

like studdenly that part of the moon is invisible instead of just being in the shadow

The nearest star besides the Sun, is the Alpha Centauri star system, which actually has three stars, the binary Alpha Centauri A and B stars, and a small red dwarf, Alpha Centauri C, which orbits the two larger stars. The Alpha Centauri system is 4.37 light years from Earth, or 41,340,000,000,000 km away. (Or 25,690,000,000,000 miles for those of you who haven’t embraced the metric system.)

In comparison, the Moon is only 370,000 km away. Much closer than any stars.

Also, just in case anyone else is confused, stars are not tiny points of light in the sky, they are in fact giant balls of flaming gas millions of times larger than the Earth that burn at temperatures of thousands of degrees. They just appear like tiny pinpoints of light because they are really, really really far away. So no, there are no stars between the earth and the moon.

John Hancock and Samuel Adams are hiding out at Hancock’s cousin Lucy’s house in Lexington. When Paul Revere shows up to tell them to leave, William Munroe, a militiaman who was guarding the door, tells Revere to shut up and go away because everyone was asleep.

Hancock’s fiancee Dolly asks him to take her to Boston so that she can rescue her father. Hancock tells her that she isn’t allowed to go back there while the British are still occupying the city. She reminds him that they aren’t actually married yet so she can technically do whatever she wants without his permission.

Paul Revere and William Dawes meet a Concord doctor named Samuel Prescott, who just happens to be out at 1am because he had spent the day with his girlfriend and presumably got kicked out of her house. When a group of British soldiers chase them, Revere is captured, Dawes comically falls off his horse, and Prescott manages to get away with the alarm message to Concord. His getting the message across in time meant that there were enough soldiers in Concord to beat the British, meaning that his walk of shame basically caused us to win the battle.

Paul Revere tells the soldiers who captured him that there are hundreds or armed and angry country hicks converging on Lexington center who are prepared to slaughter the British; the soldiers get so scared they just let him and the other captives go and run away.

Elijah Sanderson, one of the Lexington militiamen, is sent out, unarmed, as a scout, and is captured. Luckily he is in the same group of captives as Revere and is also let go. After telling the Lexingtonians what is going on he is so exhausted that he sits down next to the fireplace in the tavern and falls asleep, only waking up when the drum starts beating. Once he gets outside he realizes that he had never actually gone home to get his gun and so has to hide in the tavern during the battle.

 Joseph Warren somehow sneaks out of Boston to join the fighting and almost get himself killed. At one point a bullet whizzes by so closely it knocks a bobby pin out of his wig.

After the battle at the North Bridge in Concord a man named Elias Brown, who was mentally disabled and did not really comprehend what was happening, starts wandering through the crowd selling hard cider to the soldiers on both sides and getting everyone drunk.

A British officer named Jeremy Lister was not assigned to the expedition, but had volunteered when another officer said he was sick and couldn’t go. He is shot at Meriam’s Corner and the bullet shatters his elbow, leaving his arm immobile for the rest of his life. After he recovers he is informed the other officer had been faking it to get out of work. 

A British soldier and an American soldier have a standoff in front of a well when they show up at the same time to get a drink. Both men pull out a gun and fire a shot; both of them die.

Samuel Whittemore, an 80 year old man from Menotomy, hides behind a wall and starts picking off British soldiers with dueling pistols. Eventually one of them manages to get through, shoot him in the face, and bayonet him several times. Some friends find him several minutes later still trying to reload his gun. They drag him home kicking and screaming, assuming that he will be dead soon. He lives to be 98.

Iroh’s many words of wisdom, gansta-fied (not by me but by online, supposed “gangsta” translators.) If this gets positive traction, I might do more similar things.

If an angry mob forms because I just ignorantly made the most offensive content ever, I will erase it from my account and deny that it exists.

EDIT: Almost forgot, credit to LittleKuriboh for the idea (from his “Yugioh: The Ebonics’d Series” video). Since a beloved, longtime Internet celebrity did it without getting in trouble, I assume that I can do the same thing with no negative repercussions.