i like fluffy buns and i cannot lie

MAMMON

Using Goldie. He won’t let you take her out and about, per se, but he put Goldie on your Akuber account.

“If ya want a late night snack, order using this. Don’t leave in the middle of the night without me and definitely don’t ask anyone else to get ya food.”

When you giggled about it to Simeon and Satan between classes, they told you that Mammon would throw you under the bus the moment Lucifer got his hand on Goldie’s credit card statement. 

But the credit card statement came and went. Mammon was the only one strung up by his ankles in the living room. You went to Lucifer to try and shorten his sentence, explaining that you were to blame for some of the charges.

“Oh, so that was your account. He didn’t tell me whose it was. Not to worry, though. Your food ordering didn’t even account for 1% of what that idiot charged on that damnable card. So he will dangle and wail for as long as I want him to. Off you go.”

 You immediately brought Mammon snacks and water, hand feeding him and shooing away whatever brother had come to gloat. Needless to say, he did not learn his lesson and was not the least bit remorseful.

LEVIATHAN

Going outside. It started when you asked him to go to a new store, or cafe, or restaurant with you because you didn’t want to go alone. He made a fuss, but relented so as to have the opportunity to make the others jealous. It was… fine. Better than he expected, not that he’d admit it aloud. 

A few weeks later, there was an event to support The Magical Ruri Hana: Demon Girl that was IRL that he really wanted to go to. He barged into your room with a scowl and asked (i.e. told) you to join him.

“I went outside to do that stupid thing with you, so now you have to return the favor and come with me to support Ruri-chan.”

“Sure, Levi, I’d love to go with you.”

“...” 

Thankfully, he didn’t flood the House of Lamentation but it was quite the struggle. You went with him happily, letting him yammer on and on. 

Now that he unlocked you as a travel companion, he could go to way more events to support all the things he loved! And if it was too much, you were an expert at maneuvering out of somewhere and taking him back to the safety of his room. Or going up to booths and asking for something on his behalf while he hovered silently (and a bit nervously) behind you.

And no! He did NOT like going outside now. But it was more bearable with you.

SATAN

Moving his books around. Somehow, nothing you do (or at least, very little) irritates him. Whenever you want to borrow a book, you: text him to let him know you’re going to his room, list the books you’re taking, and let him know if you’re reading in there. You don’t try to reorganize them or pack them onto the shelves. You even made a system where you put sticky notes or pieces of paper on the shelf or sticking out a stack where the book had originally been.

“You tread so carefully in here that sometimes I won’t even know you borrowed a book until I look at my messages. With my idiot brothers, I can hear them messing things up all the way from RAD. You are welcome to come in here anytime. Don’t ask to come over, just tell me you are.”

Unfortunately, Levi heard him say this and made the foolish mistake of laughing and giving away his location.

One very loud smackdown and one very long lecture later, the pair of you were stacking the books and placing anything damaged in a specific place to be repaired once all the missing pages or chunks of binding were found.

“I meant what I said. And if Levi ever comes in here, kick him out for me.”

ASMODEUS

Using his private bathroom. Your room has a half bath in it for you to brush your teeth and such, but you have to follow the established order of baths with the other boys in the communal bathroom. After a few nights of having to stay up later than you wanted to bathe after the brothers goofed around for too long, you knocked on Asmo’s door. You had your pajamas, your toiletries bag, and your hands clasped together in pleading.

“I won’t be long, not even half an hour. I just want to shower real quick!”

To your surprise, Asmo ushered you in and pulled out a bunch of things for you to try. If you shooed him away while you bathed, he would tease but oblige, resolving to simply pounce on you with skin and hair care once you exited the bathroom. If you let him stay, he chats idly and gives you a review on basically every item in his bathroom, making a pile of things you’ll try that evening.

Once cozied up in your pajamas and a silk robe Asmo loaned you, he gives you a full bedtime makeover. You fell asleep during the pampering, and you got several comments from the other brothers the following morning at breakfast of how nice you looked and smelled.

From that day on, Asmo promised he’d let you use his bathroom whenever. And rubbed it in the face of all the others that he was the only one who shared a bath with you now.

BEELZEBUB

Sharing food with you. You always offered him the first bite of your meal when you all went out. Now, you weren’t stupid: you prepared a normal sized bite for him and gave it to him, rather than letting him get his own bite. The first couple of times you offered it to him, he ate about half of your burger or plate or meal in one bite. You didn’t make that mistake again.

But he was touched. You always let him have the first bite. So he started offering you the first (or second or last) bite of his meal.

“Here, try this. Taste alright?”

You opened your mouth while you were stirring something on the stove, and Beel fed you a spoonful of the sauce he was making, his hand under your chin to catch any spill and his eyes fixed on your face.

“BEEL!” shrieked Mammon and Asmo from the doorway. “You put that spoon in your mouth just a second ago! You just indirectly kissed them! You pervert!”

Levi and Satan bellowed from the dining room, and Beel chased his older brothers from the kitchen. A pause as he looked at you expectantly.

“Did it taste alright?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Maybe a little more heavy cream, but yeah, it’s good, Beel.”

BELPHEGOR

Doting on him. As one of the younger brothers, he is often the victim of teasing, baby-talk, and obnoxious cheek pinches.

However, he pretends to not hear when you giggle to Beel about how cute he looks with his cheek smushed while sleeping. When you wake him up gently, whispering and rubbing his back, he takes his time in stirring. He’ll roll into your lap and let you scratch his scalp in the evening while everyone is winding down. Where Asmo would get attacked for cooing at him napping somewhere ridiculous, he would twitch the tip of his tail when you did the same.

When Mammon brags that you brought him snacks when Lucifer was punishing him, insisting that you saved all your affection for him, your “first”, Satan corrects him.

“You’re stupider than you look, Mammon. Haven’t you seen the picture of Belphie in their lap? They dote on him like he’s a kitten.”

Normally, he would snap at Satan and make sure he never went near you again to avoid that nonsense. But this time, he scoffed. “They treat you like that because they pity what an idiotic scumbag you are. They treat me like this because they actually like me.”

“... Man, you guys are so mean t’ me.”

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KILLS THE BUG WHILE MAKING A FUSS - Sawamura Daichi, Kinoshita Hisashi

When you find a monstrous grasshopper sitting real comfortably near your bike, you nearly burst into tears. You run to him, pointing and explaining, but he doesn’t quite get it.

“Aw, scared of a little bug? Don’t worry I’ll go get it for you.”

Then a moment later…

“AAAHHH! OH HELL NO!”

And he comes dashing back to you.

“It’s a monster!”

“I told you that!”

“I didn’t believe you!”

With a few deep breaths, he works out a plan. First, he beats it with a broom. Then, he’ll sweep it into a dustpan that he’ll hold at arms length and stare at intently for any movement. Finally, he’ll dump the corpse into a storm drain and run like it’s a pipe bomb.

He washes his hands with soap twice before he melts into your arms for a congratulatory hug. You squeeze him tightly and thank him for his heroic service. If there is any moisture in the corners of his eyes, you say nothing at all.

CAPTURES THE BUG AND TAKES IT OUTSIDE - Hinata Shoyo, Nishinoya Yuu, Tsukishima Kei, and Ennoshita Chikara

“Cricket!”

“Why are you yelling?”

You dive behind him like a human shield and clutch the back of his shirt. “There’s a cricket! It jumped at me! Get rid of it- Please get rid of it!”

Your savior fetches a cup and a newspaper and disappears into the occupied room. After a couple minutes of “Come here, little guy” and “No, no, get on the paper”, he emerges with the invader inside the clear cup.

Hinata and Ennoshita will take the bug outside immediately, but Nishinoya and Tsukishima will try to show it to you. “Is this what was freaking you out so much?” But once you start running away from him, he stops teasing and dumps the cricket into a plant outside.

He tosses out the paper and pops the cup into the dishwasher. You’re still hiding in another room, peering at him from a doorway.

“Is it gone?”

He holds his arms out to you and you creep over like an unsure puppy into his embrace. “It’s outside. I got rid of him for you because I am the coolest guy you know.”

“You are the coolest guy I know. Thank you.”

“No big deal.”

WILL NOT KILL THE BUG FOR YOU - Azumane Asahi, Tanaka Ryunosuke, and Kageyama Tobio

This is not some bullshit of him insisting you need to learn to do it on your own. This is him being a bigger pussy than you.

The pair of you scream at about the same octave when the moth flutters into both of your faces. He hauls you out of the room alongside him, swearing and begging the universe that you two are sharing a nightmare.

“Go kill it!”

He looks at you like you’ve grown a second head. “Me? Why me?”

Unfortunately, his intimidating appearance and prowess on the court did not translate into him protecting you from bugs… the bastard.

Instead, he shouts support and screams when the moth flutters around from behind the couch. You flail a towel around, the moth dodging and weaving as best it can. When the towel finally connects with the offending insect, he cheers like you scored. You scoop it up with a piece of paper and move carefully to the trashcan, which he at least opens for you. Once you’ve washed your hands, he hugs you tightly and thanks you profusely.

“You have to get the next one.”

He looks like you struck him across the face. “What? No!”

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You politely knocked on the door, careful not to be too loud.

“Lucifer?”

When you didn’t hear him tell you to go away, or the sound of furniture being thrown at the door, you went ahead inside. He was sitting at his desk surrounded by papers and folders. When he saw you, he gave you a small smile and put his pen to the side to rub his temples.

“Hello, my darling.” He sounded tired.

“Evening. Heard you’re in a bad mood.”

He frowned. He never appreciated finding that his brothers had been talking about him. Especially to others. Especially to the exchange students. And especially to you. But you were saying it gently and crossing the room to stand next to him. His frown softened as he leaned into your touch, carding fingers through his hair and pressing his head into your chest.

“You feeling stressed, baby?” you whispered, kissing the top of his head. “Anything I can do to help?”

His eyes fluttered shut. “Mm. No. This is enough.”

“How much of this do you need to get done tonight? Can you just go to bed and do it with a fresh mind tomorrow.”

He sighed and hugged you tightly. “I need to keep working.”

“Just a bit more. Then bed. You won’t be doing your best work when you’re tired and in a bad mood.”

He grumbled something but he was melting under your touch and knew he would cave soon. Time for a secret weapon.

“Finish this file and I’ll give you a reward, okay? Then I’ll let you get back to work.”

He perked up. “Reward?”

“Mhm.”

He waited for you to tell him what the reward was, then figured from your smile that you weren’t going to.

“Fine. Sit over there with your secret and I’ll finish this.”

It didn’t take him too long, but he kept glancing up at you from your spot on the couch. You didn’t even pretend to not be staring at him. Chin on the heel of your hand. Smiling.

He looked so handsome when focused, and was looking prettier and prettier as his frown faded. Tousled black hair. Loosened tie and partially unbuttoned shirt. Gloves discarded. Shapely eyebrows slowly returned to a resting position, and no longer pressed together and made a wrinkle on his forehead. Not that he was any less cute with it, but you would much rather see your sweet demon smiling over pouting (or sulking, depending on how much you valued your life).

You were so enamoured that you almost missed it when he finished the file. Almost. He dropped his pen and threw everything back in the folder. With a flourish, he moved it to the “completed” box and stood. Grabbed his coat. Stalked towards you.

“I’ve finished the file, darling.” He settles the coat on the back of the couch and leans down. One knee settles next to yours and his face is close as purrs, “Now, what’s this about a reward.”

You slip between his arms and stand, gently guiding him to stand straight before you. He does so, but his body still leans in and almost coils around you. It reminds you of ivy on a house, or a snake on its favorite zookeeper. 

Gentle hands hold his face still and you press a kiss to his lips.

Dark eyelashes flutter closed and he inhales deeply. Both of you hold onto each other tightly, his arms roaming up and down your back, while yours are stationary, one gripping his upper back and the other his lower.

Before it can deepen, you pull back. He lets out a huff. He was a real baby about teasing, but that was not the point. 

You kiss him again, chastely pressing your lips over his, then the corners of his mouth, his chin, his cheek, his eyelids, his forehead. Gentle pecks, leaving the warmth of you all over his face. He couldn’t help but smile.

He could almost forget what (or more accurately, who) had put him in such a mood. Almost. But revenge was best served cold. And he would much rather kiss you and sleep comfortably in your embrace than plot and scheme. He was a softy like that.

Well, it is kind of entertaining to see his students dance around in hopes of getting the already-couple to go out. Hizashi thought it was hilarious and told he better not try to stop them in any way, shape, or form. So they waited.

Meanwhile, Toshinori was panicking over the girls’ shenanigans. The first time he noticed their giggling and not-so-furtive glances over at him, he thought something was wrong. His shirt was on correctly, there was nothing on his face, his fly wasn’t down. What were they laughing about? He was too nervous to ask them, so he checked himself repeatedly. He asked Izuku quietly if he had done something funny, but he was equally confused.

As Valentine’s Day grew closer, his nerves eased. The girls were all so sweet to him, so if they were indeed laughing and whispering at him, it would be some harmless inside joke. And maybe they weren’t even talking about him, he wasn’t the star of everyone else’s show. Maybe it was something else, and he was just anxious. His little smiles and waves to the girls were no longer forced. They were wonderful girls. He shouldn’t have expected something unkind from them.

He had forgotten his keys. Toshinori cursed himself and turned back to the faculty office. He had gotten all the way to the storage room before realizing his keys were on his desk. Two unbearably long hallways and a flight of stairs were a pain, but doing it twice and then three times was worse.

He allowed himself that awkward little jog once the halls had emptied, most everyone eating in the cafeteria or making trouble outside. 

The faculty door slid open a little more forcefully than he intended, and his eyes bugged as 6 heads turned toward him with the expressions of raccoons caught in trash bins, hoping that if they are still enough you won’t see them.

Sitting on his, Hizashi’s, and Shota’s desks were colorful mugs and cards with a gaudy amount of glitter and stickers. 

“Hi, Yagi-sensei,” they chorused, clearly embarrassed at being caught. Hagakure waved, pink glitter falling from her hands and sleeves, as she and the rest of the girls bolted from the room, no longer bothering to quiet their giggling.

Toshinori walked towards his desk and saw that next to his keys was a pretty, light blue mug, the words ‘No.1 Dad’ printed on the side. 

He had seen that most of the other teachers had gotten some sort of gift from their homeroom students. Vlad was flaunting the open box holding his new tie on his desk for all to see. Nemuri sported a new barrette that she made a point of showing off to everyone she came across. 

But since he didn’t have a homeroom class, he didn’t expect a gift, especially for Valentine’s Day of all days. Maybe his birthday, or some teacher or hero appreciation day. 

A ring of glitter was left in the wake as he lifted the mug to examine its contents. Origami flowers, birds, and butterflies in colorful paper smiled up at him. Cute butterscotch candies and licorice sticks (which meant Midoriya must have been interrogated at some point) peeked out among the origami.

He lifted his head and stared up at the ceiling panels, blinking rapidly. The mug was pressed to his chest, hugged like he would the girls next he saw them.

 “Thank you,” he whispered to the empty room.

“How about a horror movie?”

Shota squinted. “Why?”

“Keeps things interesting.” Mic played a series of chords on an invisible guitar. “Y’know Komi? My friend that plays bass? She never shuts up about horror movies. Tells me all about them, she’s given me lists of ones to watch. I’ve watched a few but they’re better with other people. Let’s watch one tonight.”

“Isn’t Halloween in October?”

“You’re so lame.”

The door to the faculty lounge slid open and Nemuri popped her head out with a grin.

“Guess what you two got?” she asked in a sing-songy voice.

“Papers to grade. Excuse us.”

“Presents? Aw, Nemuri you shouldn’t have.”

They both brushed past her, Mic practically floating to his desk. He stopped short and his eyes bugged out of his head.

Cards and bags of sour candies with stickers on them sat on his desk, leaned against a green mug reading ‘No. 1 Dad’. 

Nemuri bounced over and threw her arms around Hizashi’s neck. 

“Your students are so sweet, aren’t they?”

Shota’s thumb gently rubbed the words on his new mug. The corners of his eyes began that familiar tingling burning. He sniffed casually and put the mug down, avoiding Nemuri’s gaze. 

“Yeah, they are.”

i.e.

has now become

or

i took 17 credit hours last semester (which means approximately 17 hours of classes and 34 hours of homework/studying per week) and while i did fine and got good grades i had zero energy. now I've started working over the summer and slowly spiraling.

keeping up with the news is important for me as I try to navigate adult life and the "real world", but hearing about the war in Ukraine and the overturn of Roe v. Wade and all the other shit going on has been taking a toll on me.