Don't Ask Men

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Unfortunately this article didn't end up simply being "Don't" but an actual article written by an inept creep documenting how he started out his annoyance  pickups with randomly approaching a woman and telling her the magazine she was reading looked boring. She said nothing, it hurt his feelings, she got up and walked away. So he realized this was a stupid and disturbing plan right? No. He moved on to the next woman. She told him he was talking rubbish and he was awkward, he pressed on, they exchanged numbers (no way her number was a fake right?). He proudly ends this article with "Now do I tell Sarah that I have a girlfriend and this was just an experiment, or shall I not text her? Hmmm I'll wait for her to call me."

10 Things Women Find Unattractive:

1. Unbrushed hair. We know you've made it a fashion trend to look like you just rolled out of bed but a lot of you don't even brush your hair and you shed like a dying cat all over the place

2. No Foundation. If you expect us to wear foundation then you need to step up too. Those red blotches aren't cute honey, if you cover up then so do you. Unless you feel like growing up and dealing with actual human skin but c'mon that'd be ridiculous.

3. Red Eyes. I don't know if that's pink eye from not knowing how to properly take care of yourself (that's what moms and girlfriends are for) or just red eyes from all that weed but it's gross. Eye drops hun. 

4. No Mascara. Come on cutie don't you want a woman? Glam up for us a bit.

5. Badly Shaved Body. Whether you like it or not, women prefer smooth skin. Take care of your entire body. Make sure that your legs and armpits are perfectly clean and hairless. Such things play an even greater role than the foundation I want you to wear. It tells a lot about your hygiene and there is no point in applying makeup if the rest of your body is not totally neat!

6. Dry Lips. I know you don't feel masculine putting on chapstick but no one wants to makeout with sand paper. Sugar scrub once a week, chapstick constantly, some lip gloss while you're at it. 

7. Bad Breath. Why do you always smell like mountain dew and corn chips? How are you ever supposed to get a wife?

8. No Lip Liner. How the hell am I supposed to know where your lips end and your face begins? This is too much pressure for me, outline that shit for me.