Harper (She/her)

This means that at the same time that cowboys were reaching their end, so too were samurai.

it’s okay that i don’t have a sewing machine

i love backstitching by hand for hours

this has got to be great for my back

millions of my ancestors did this and they lived almost as long as i want to

I've had to call attention to this in the most convoluted way, going out of my way to thank them profusely for their efforts, positive emojis etc etc, pointing out bits I specifically liked, and only then drawing attention to the issue with this one question. I have to point it out as if it's a minor issue, I have to pretend it was an understandable mistake, I have to let them save face by saying "I'm sure you didn't mean it that way". I have to suggest an alternative to give them an easy fix where they don't have to think. Then I have to thank them again and end the message on a high.

Then I have to patiently listen to their nonsensical excuses, and thank them again for changing the text of their quiz. Then write another appeasing message that characterises their transmisogyny as understandable.

And after all this shit I have had to do because a non-transfem wrote some transmisogynistic nonsense, it is me who is left riddled with anxiety. Because every time I call out something like this, even if I am as meek about it as possible, I am rolling the dice as to whether I will end up being smeared as an unreasonable bully and kicked out of this group (which might be a blessing honestly atp).

And this forces you to decide whether your autonomy matters to you more than the approval of the group - while they'll still act like you're on thin ice either way, if you give in at this point they know you're theirs forever, because now they've established a foothold, you've shown a moral weakness, which they will brand you with so it can be used against you in the future ("hey RICE-addict here doesn't want help break into the city records office") to force you to double-down and isolate you further.