donna-bee

#chatswithmymum #nofollowers #ialmostdied #stillsmoking

So, my new, middle aged neighbour mowed the lawn today in a t-shirt and budgie smugglers. If I had that much confidence, I'd be an unstoppable force.

#notwrong

So, Hot Chelle Ray's song "Tonight tonight"... it turns out the lyric isn't: Woke up with a strange tattoo Not a dollar in my pocket, Not sure how I got it And it kinda looks just like you Mixed with that girl that's from Maccas In my defence idk who Zach Galifinakis is.

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know! *10 minutes later* Well, now they know.

I'm weak. Laughed so hard went all the way to "old man cough", then I coughed so hard I saw through time.

I did not ducking order this case. I ordered a Hello Kitty one.

Turns out, the "suggested serving size" on the food packets aren't issued as personal challenges.

Idk why I never get notes or reblogged. I'm hilarious.

Shout out to my baby grandson for being the only grankid to look like me. Fat, with a great smile.

Damn, Daniel. Back at it again tormenting the Evil Queen.