HE WAS SO NOBLE AND WELL-BEHAVED!

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

ALWAYS REMEMBER: THE NIGHT IS DARKEST JUST BEOFRE IT KEEPS GOING FOREVER

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

absolutely flabbergasting to see people who have so enthusiastically succumbed to despair. like okay denethor, but some of us are gonna actually face the armies of mordor in battle nonetheless.

I would let her kill me for sport

5 great things about having a wound 1) the wound is a memory or how you earned it, if something bad happened you can use this to steel your resolve, if something good happened this serves as a lovely reminder 2) someone might care for your wound, yay! 3) if nobody else cares for your wound, you can have a tender moment with yourself to clean and dress it 4) you can often press on your wound in some manner that will make it hurt just a little bit, this is good! 5) having wounds makes you sexier, obviously

This post is how I've learned that the sexual meaning of "spit roast" has now become more well known than the literal meaning of roasting something on a spit, and the slangy way of using it to describe an ass kicking or a humiliating defeat is completely forgotten