feel free to change words and pronouns as needed.

“They want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch.”

“It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on just right.”

“It’ll take them years to sort this out.”

“Oh, bleeding hearts of the world, UNITE!”

“Give me that! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to take things that don’t belong to you? What’s the matter with you, you some kind of wild animal?!”

“You’ve been practicing your Christmas wrapping. Honey, I’m so proud of you.”

“You see? Even now the terror is welling up inside you!”

“Denial is to be expected in the face of pure evil.”

“(Name), I came to invite you… to be Holiday Cheermeister.”

“I know you hate Christmas, but what if it’s all just a misunderstanding?”

“I’m sorry, your session is over. Please make another appointment with the receptionist on the way out.”

“All right. I’ll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me, grab a handful of popcorn shrimp and blow outta there.”

“I must stop this Christmas from coming, but how?”

“With this coat and this hat, I’ll look just like Saint Nick! Ho, ho, ho!”

“Just face the music, you’re a monster, (name).”

“Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it!”

“Alright, you’re a reindeer. Here’s your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you’re a freak with the red nose and nobody likes you.”

“You hate Christmas, you’re gonna steal it!”

“Santa Claus, what are you doing with our tree?”

“(Name), what’s Christmas really about?”

“Don’t forget (name). I know he’s mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy, but I think he’s actually kinda… sweet.”

“Nice kid. Bad judge of character.”

“What an embarrassment! I’ve been robbed!”

“Maybe Christmas…doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

“(Name), help me! I’m… feeling!”

“What’s happening to me? I’m all… toasty inside. And I’m leaking.”

“Death is only the beginning.”

“He/She said he/she was looking for a good time.”

“Well personally, I think he/she’s filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don’t like him/her one bit.”

“I’m here to protect my investment, thank you very much.”

“The only thing that scares me, ________, are your manners.”

“Ah, still angry about the kiss?”

“Oh for heaven’s sake, it wasn’t that good of a kiss, anyway.”

“Well if it ain’t my little buddy, _______! I think I’ll kill you.”

“You always did have more balls than brains.”

“I say, bloody good show, chaps!”

“That’s called stealing, you know.”

“I know. You’re wondering… what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?”

“I’m going to kiss you, ________.”

“The Book of the Dead? Are you sure you wanna be playing around with this thing?”

“_______, I appreciate you saving my life and all but when I signed on, I agreed to take you out there and bring you back. End of job, end of story, contract terminated!”

“I lie to everybody, what makes you so special?”

“And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?”

“Oh, your strength gives me strength.”

“It is better to be the right hand of the devil than be in his path.”

“Oh yeah, this just keeps getting better and better.”

“Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.”

“You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.”

𝑎𝑛𝑑  𝑖  𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 , 𝑖  𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡  𝑡ℎ𝑒  𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑒  𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 …