Buying new makeup and skincare is therapeutic because now I have a reason to wake up in the morning I can’t leave this planet without trying these eyeshadows and lip products

If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.

This is my new favorite post

i cant believe you made the lizzie mcguire movie look like some indie film

@donald-dickk

why is this making me laugh so fucking hard

@donald-dickk

Is it illegal to have sex in a dressing room

I’ve gotten in trouble for jerking it in one so

I jerked off in a dressing room do I sound like a lawyer

me when I’m the dd

i get so excited when i can’t remember the name of someone i knew in high school it’s like i’m one step closer to being fully cleansed