Don

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Pre

*Nothing is scientifically proven and is just my experience

*Document subject to change

*I kept track of every relapse for about 6 months to gain data, and recorded my mindset during the first few weeks of retention to better understand addiction and what causes relapses.

How to Start

Planning ahead (in my experience) is more effective than starting immediately. I find that planning ahead gives you time to come to terms with the End. Plan retention 1 week ahead for best results.

Tip: If you keep planning ahead then delaying it saying "I'll do it next week" then it means you dont WANT to get better. Dont lie to yourself. Make your decision certain.

Triggers

Instagram and Other Social Medias (uninstall)

Uninstall instagram for good.

Uninstall all social medias.

Triggers are the downfall of any man. Taking glances and peeks of sexual content will destroy you. You can't withstand it. You must run from it.

If you must use social media then beware that the internet has become plagued with lust. You have been warned.

Mindless Socialization

Mindless communication is the act of texting people with the sole purpose of avoiding solitude and filling a void. Before texting, ask yourself what are you trying to gain from the person you are talking to. Mindlessly texting random people you are attracted to, or your ex, or a tinder match will not fill your void. It will only make you horny which will cause you to masturbate OR will lead to sex, which will turn your porn addiction into a sex addiction (which is way worse). Once the sex stops the porn addiction will return.

Dating apps can also be a form of mindless socialization. Seeing a variety of women flash before your eyes triggers the dopamine receptors and can prime you for lust. You also risk seeing lustful images that can tempt you. This is how I see it: We are what we eat. If at 2am I am swiping past countless images of different beautiful women, then these photos will be on my subconscious mind. This subconscious programing will only lead to more fast paced dopamine addiction. Think about what dating apps are. A lonely person judging somebody by their appearance and swipes hoping to find fulfillment. If this fulfillment isn't met the void within grows. If you don't match with anyone the void grows more.

Dating apps aren't all bad. I have used dating apps and met great people and formed meaningful connections. It's nothing wrong with meeting people. But, I have also used these apps and relapsed because I had sexual conversations with women or because I primed my subconscious mind with lust by swiping through endless images. They have hurt me more than they have helped me. Use at your own risk.

Socializing should be pure. Ideally in person. Authentic. One must be comfortable and in love with themselves before searching for love outwardly. Socialization should be healthy and not be centered around sex. Socialization should not be used to fill a void.

Some women will not have your best interest in mind and talk about sex even though you are on retention. Beware of this.

To insure your intentions are pure it is best to wait until you feel comfortable before socializing with women to avoid relapse from lust, rejection, or unmet expectations.

Proper Socialization

Porn isolates us from the outside word. It sexualizes the brain while making us socially anxious and insecure. Heavy porn users have trouble talking to people they find attractive. This inability to properly socialize creates a void and that void creates more porn use. This creates a cycle. That is why I believe the purest form of socialization is in person. I believe it is necessary to readjust to society little by little. Learning how to be in the real world will get you real friends and real relationships. This will remove your desire for watching porn even more.

I can make a book on how to talk to people.

Explicit Content (stay off explicit sites)

Avoid / Remove anything that can lead to relapse.

Again, get rid of ALL avenues for temptation.

Lack of Sleep / Energy

Willpower is exhaustible. Strength is exhaustible. Sleep early / Eat healthy to get the energy needed to withstand the battle.

Most of my relapses occurred 2am - 5am. I should have been sleep.

Boredom (preoccupy self)

When there is too much time on your hands, there is nothing stopping you from masturbating. Exercise, Take walks, Sit with family, Etc. To preoccupy self. Create a healthier routine.

Days where you know you will have a lot of free time, create a schedule or have plans set aside. The less you plan ahead the more likely you will have free time on your hands. The more free time, the bigger the urge to masturbate.

Tip: Plan some things in public. It gets you out the house and out your head. It gives you a sense of what life really is.

First 4 weeks are hardest (in my experience).

Meditate more frequently and pray more frequently. Take walks more often. Be in public more. Sleep earlier. Cold showers. Hobbies. Etc.

Lustful thought

Lustful thoughts are like seeds.

If you look at one person lustfully, it may not do much. But, as time goes on and you get more horny, that seed will grow into something much more. The more seeds you plant the less likely you are to win.

Keep your mind away from lust or you risk having those same lustful thoughts reemerge in the future when you lack the willpower to overcome them.

Do not think lustfully at all. One can be horny without being lustful.

A crack in the dam will cause the water to spill in due time.

Keep your mind seedless.

Keep your dam without cracks.

Wet Dreams

Wet dreams do not count as a relapse. Days after wet dreams (in my experience) are some of the best days. In my research I've found that I was most social after a wet dream. I felt a renewal. This may not be true to all people and the renewal may not come after every wet dream.

Side note: When horny do not try to force a wet dream. Do not look at lusty things before bed. It will not lead to a wet dream. It will only plant seeds. Horniness doesn't increase chances of wet dreams. Wet dreams occur on a biological clock (Mine are about once a month). Horniness caused by trying to force a wet dream will only plant seeds. Too many seeds and you will be plagued with horniness and your chances of success when plagued are near 0.

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EVERY TIME I relapse I write down the specific reason so I can know what my triggers and weaknesses are. I write down my emotions before relapse to better understand what thoughts lead me to relapsing. I also write down the time i relapsed to better understand when I'm more susceptible to failure. I recommend you do the same. It's very helpful.

Sudden Spike

A sudden spike is a random surge of horniness.

Upon these spikes, one must immediately release them in a healthy way.

(Cold shower, Taking a walk, pushups, etc.)

The bible says: "Run from temptation" So upon being tempted, get rid of it immediately.

I found that these spikes only last 10 minutes or less, so stay mindful of that before you do anything drastic.

I also found that

1) constant and consistent exercise, meditation, etc may reduce the intensity of spikes one will have. (Due to the energy that leads horniness being used before it reaches high levels.)

2) the less amount of lustful seeds planted, the less spikes one will have.

Less seeds planted = Less spikes

More exercise = Weaker spikes

Overcome Darkness

Anger, Sadness, Fear, Loneliness, Stress, etc.

Along with sudden spikes you may feel long lasting changes in mood or may be more sensitive to the problems in your life. This is good because one must feel to heal.

These inner demons are a main cause to addictions due to our need to escape pain. I have gotten in arguments and then later that day watched porn. Our mood definitely effects our urge for relapse.

This is very important.

Your mood CAN CAUSE your horniness. If someone irritates you that day it is best to take precautions BEFORE HAND. If you are stressed, upset, angry, etc. it is best to take precautions BEFORE HAND.

You more than likely WILL get horny soon.

Heal.

Incorporate shadow:

Withdrawal causes negative emotions to occur because they can no longer be suppressed by porn use. When these emotions occur you are more likely to relapse shortly after, if you do not pay attention.

Listen to these emotions instead of running from them. Incorporate them into your being.

Fill the void.

Loneliness:

Avoid socializing aimlessly. Horniness leads to loneliness which leads to desire which leads to relapse when desires aren't met.

Find peace in solitude and in the now.

If you do socialize, it should be in person. Face to face. Learn how to be confident. Learn how to be a functioning member of society. Socialize without lust or expectation of something more. Talk to strangers. Smile at people. Be confident.

Reprogram your mind to real life. If you have to socialize online then make sure there is honesty healthy intent behind it, and make sure it will lead to an honest in person date eventually.

Anger / Resentment:

Speak your truth. Leave once truth is spoken. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. God is with you.

Meditate.

Release expectations.

Heal.

Sadness / Anxiety:

Ask the self "why?". Listen and you will hear the answer.

Relapse

After relapse reset streak back to 0 and go on another streak.

Do not masturbate again or you will fall back into addiction.

Easy Peasy

I recommend reading The Easy Peasy Way to Quit Pornography. It's a good book.

Tips

View horniness as a good thing. Something to be proud of. Something to be held on to. View horniness as VITALITY. The more you view it as something you need to get rid of, the more you'll fill your brain with negative emotions that will cause relapse.

Retention with friends can help or hurt you. Their strengths may become your strengths, but their failures may lead to your failures. Choose wisely.

Don't forget your truth. You may lie to yourself sooner or later. Who will win? Who is stronger?

You may experience vivid dreams.

In ancient alchemy, the philosopher's stone is believed to be a substance that can turn lead into gold and turn humans immortal. This immortality, however, was not the end goal, but a necessary step to achieve what comes next. In the same way, semen retention is not the end. It is a means to it. If you treat semen retention as the end goal you will feel your "benefits" leave if you relapse. Use semen retention as a tool to achieve a greater purpose, not as the purpose itself.

When the body begins to fail get it back in order. The mind is harder to fix than the body in this case, so do not let the wreckage spread. If your mind fails and you are confused, keep faith. The spirit is harder to fix than the mind. Do not lose your spirit if you lose your mind.

When I quit porn I had no end goal. No set time. I just said "I'm done." If I said "I'll just go one month", then I would relapse eventually because my heart wasn't 100% dedicated to quitting my addiction. You must be ready to 100% give it all up. FOR GOOD. Until then you will constantly fail. Think about all the negatives. Think about what your life has come to. Think about how much worse it would be if you never quit this habit. Think about how great you will be if you quit. Its all or nothing. Small goals will yield smaller results.

The Key

Christ is the only way out of the darkness. Porn addiction is a demonic attack that makes you susceptible to more demonic attacks. The ONLY way to ward off such demons is through a relationship with Christ. Read the bible. Put on your SPIRITUAL armor. It is impossible to quit porn through your power alone. The spirit of God is needed to ward off all spiritual forces.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

- Ephesians 6:12-13

Jesus loves you more than you can ever imagine. No matter how dark your life may feel, and no matter how deep you are in addiction, He loves you regardless. When society rejects you, remember that you are enough for him. He is by your side, and He always will be.

Final

Once the first wall of your defense is broken the rest will break in just a matter of time.

Do not allow seeds of doubt or negativity to seep in. Do not allow your thoughts to stray from the path. Do not question your journey.

Willpower is exhaustible. Without aim, willpower will fail. So, without a REASON to remain strong, the first wall will break. Do not allow your first wall to be broken. Have aim. Have a reason to stay strong. A reason to not fold. Have Something / Someone to fight for. Something to fight towards.

Reach the peak of your existence.

It is your purpose.

Reach for more.

God bless.

Forever.